


Nicotine

by cxgan



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BDSM, Belting, Belts, Blow Jobs, Boot Worship, Chastity, Cock Cage, Cum Play, Daddy Kink, Eventual Smut, Exhibitionism, Flogging, I'll update the tags as I go, Kinks, M/M, Negotiations, Past Abuse, Somnophilia, belt whipping, dirty talking, everything is gonna be consensual tho, healthy BDSM, listen there are going to be so many kinks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 02:11:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 56,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15451101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxgan/pseuds/cxgan
Summary: Carl Grimes, 19, joined the kink community over a year and a half ago. He quickly learned several things - he was submissive, he liked pain, and he strongly disliked the local community leader and Dominant, Negan. So what's a boy to do when he catches a certain leather title holder's eye?[in which I'm really bad at writing summaries, there's no zombie apocalypse, Carl is in denial, Negan is an asshole and they somehow end up together along the way]





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my crazy little world.
> 
> So for about two weeks I sat trying to figure out what kind of cegan fic I wanted to write. I considered writing canonverse because truth be told I very rarely ever stray from canon, but then I got an idea: I have a plethora of knowledge regarding the kink community/kink culture and might as well put it somewhere, so thus this fic was born. 
> 
> Pretty much everything I write about here is very real and mirrors my own experience in joining the kink community - the munches, the classes, the parties, etc. If you have any questions regarding anything that I write, though, feel free to shoot me a message on tumblr @ cxgan! 
> 
> It's been close to ten years since I wrote a fanfic (as roleplaying has been my primary form of writing), so bear with me a little bit while I get back into the groove of things. Constructive criticism is always welcome, blatant hate and rudeness is not. I appreciate all of your hits, comments and kudos!
> 
> Anyway, without further ado....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to my crazy little world.
> 
> So for about two weeks I sat trying to figure out what kind of cegan fic I wanted to write. I considered writing canonverse because truth be told I very rarely ever stray from canon, but then I got an idea: I have a plethora of knowledge regarding the kink community/kink culture and might as well put it somewhere, so thus this fic was born.
> 
> Pretty much everything I write about here is very real and mirrors my own experience in joining the kink community - the munches, the classes, the parties, etc. If you have any questions regarding anything that I write, though, feel free to shoot me a message on tumblr @ cxgan!
> 
> It's been close to ten years since I wrote a fanfic (as roleplaying has been my primary form of writing), so bear with me a little bit while I get back into the groove of things. Constructive criticism is always welcome, blatant hate and rudeness is not. I appreciate all of your hits, comments and kudos!
> 
> Anyway, without further ado....

They say the kink community is where the depraved go. The lustful, the lascivious, the lewd. It was where the perverts of the world all get together to do unspeakable things to one another. Well, at least that was what Carl Grimes had assumed it was when he joined over a year ago. 

It seemed funny, looking back at it now. The irrational fear that nestled itself in his belly when he found himself walking into the cafe for the meet and greet (munches, they were called - he still didn't know why) that Wednesday after he had gotten out of class.

He had done his research for four months prior to that particular date. He spent all summer before college holed up in his room for hours on end, researching what it meant to be "kinky" - he learned about fetishes and dynamics, power play, scenes and whatever else he could get his hands on. He learned that the local kink community in the city he was going to college in was actually quite prominent, so he had vowed to join after he was moved and all settled. 

Perhaps his initial fear had been the fact he had expected to walk into a room full of perverts - creepy old men that would grope him unwillingly in the back room of the dark cafe. Deep down he knew it was a "vanilla" (non-kinky) event, as all munches were required to be, but that fear still tickled his insides as he stepped into the back room for the first time. He'd never expected everything to be so... normal. He'd been greeted like an old friend by several different people and urged to sit down and introduce himself. He remembered his awkward _'Um hi um I'm Carl um nice to um meet you um,'_ that had spilled out of his mouth with a hand to the back of his neck and his hair falling in his face, and honestly the picture in his mind made him chuckle lightly. He had come so far.

He had expected creepy old men (and very few women), not normal people both his age and above that smiled and talked about normal things. Work. School. Life. A hint or two was dropped that reassured him they  _were_ in fact kinky and he hadn't just walked in on some weird friendly get together - a whispered mention of rope bondage over the weekend, a phone shoved hastily around the group showing off some needle art (at the time he didn't even know people were into  _that_ but hey, whatever worked) - and he had found himself relaxing into the calm atmosphere of those around him. 

He went to the same munch every Wednesday for a month before he was invited to classes - kink classes taught by members of the local community on various subjects every Thursday night. Classes that made the articles he had read online look like nothing. He learned about more topics than he knew what to do with - tame ones like wax play and rope bondage, flogging, the basics of scene negotiations and creations (which had been an interesting concept to him - before he just assumed that both parties would just jump into a scene without talking about first). He also learned about more intense topics - needle play, pup play, pursuit and take down, the ins and outs of a Master/slave dynamic, and more. Each class had a demo scene, and Carl would hang on the edge of his seat with bated breath as he watched each one with hungry eyes. 

It was another month before he had been invited to his first party, and boy what an experience that had been. But while it had been an experience, it also hadn't been what he had been expecting. Maybe he'd been expecting whips and chains, people taking themselves too seriously, a little more intensity to the whole thing. He hadn't expected yet another laid back environment, people socializing over drinks and cigars. Sure, there were scenes going on around him - someone getting flogged, another getting tied up, a guy receiving a blow job in the corner and he was pretty sure a gang bang scene going on in the basement - and while these scenes weren't exactly  _not_ intense, there was an air about them that made it all seem so relaxed. These were all consenting adults doing what they wanted to get their rocks off, all the while just enjoying one another's company. Judgement free.

Carl had never been a social kid growing up, preferring to spend time with himself alone in his room rather than go out to parties or hang out with friends. Now that he thought about it, maybe it was just because he hadn't met the right people. Because, well, in the last year and a half he had been more social than he had in his entire life. The kink community quickly became a sort of drug to Carl; he went to every class, every party, ate up every social interaction he could get with the people that shared the same sort of fucked up fantasies he found himself creating over time. 

He met people, had flings, experienced things both sexual and non sexual that his 17 year old self could have never even imagined. He had made friends that he had negotiated a few scenes with over time  - small things here or there, nothing too intense. But he had learned a few things about himself that he hadn't known before, one in particular that stood out from the rest: he liked pain. A lot. 

He had always been interested in the darker things in life - maybe it was because his dad was a cop and the urge to rebel against the man was always there beneath his skin - but never before would he have thought that pain was something he would  _enjoy_. Something that he craved. The cathartic release of endorphins that followed being consensually hurt in any manner of way. Consensually. That was the key word there.

Pain was also how he learned he was a submissive. Before, when he first joined the community, he didn't know what he identified as. He toyed with the idea of being a Dominant, but he could never really wrap his head around being in control of another person. Especially after he started taking classes and learned just how much responsibility went into taking on that role. Sure, a submissive had responsibilities too (relationships and dynamics were 50/50, after all), but they were far less than when you were the one in control. 

The longest dynamic he had been in had lasted six months. He had been introduced to the other male by his best friend in the community, Kitten. Mark, his name was. He was 25, and at the time the man was basically a wet dream to a then 18 year old Carl. He'd fallen for the man almost immediately, a love forged by unhealthy ideals and idolism. It took him three months to realize the relationship was abusive. Three months of ignored safe words, of neglected aftercare, of pushing past Carl's limits in the worst of ways. Deep down he had known what Mark was doing was wrong, he had taken classes on consent and safety, for fuck sake, but he was so blinded by his want for the other man that he pushed it to the side. It wasn't until he was breaking down at Kitten's apartment three months into their relationship that he realized it wasn't right. It took him another three months just to sum up the courage to break up with him. After that, Kitten had convinced Carl to go to one of the community leaders about what he had experienced and Mark had been banned from all future events at the Clubhouse. Carl could breathe again. The little world he had created for himself at the Clubhouse wouldn't be touched by Mark any longer, and he could move on. 

It took him several months to heal from his ordeal with Mark, and now he's still unsure if he'll ever be able to trust anyone that way again, but some part of him is optimistic. The months following the break up were spent still going to parties and classes like he had before, but he found himself socializing more than anything. Getting to know the people around him better. He learned about the relationships and dynamics surrounding him, learned about the hierarchy within the kink community. He learned about leather titles and houses and everything in between. Slowly but surely he put himself back together with knowledge. 

And somewhere along the way, he found a family. He became part of something bigger than him, something he had always wanted. He befriended most of the community leaders, learned their stories and where they came from. There were still some of the community leaders he hadn't met yet, some he was too afraid to approach and some he just didn't care to meet due to their reputation. 

_He_  was one of them. 

An arrogant, silver-tongued bastard, as he had first been described to Carl by Kitten sometime after he first joined the community. Carl didn't believe her at first, didn't believe that anyone in the community could be that way (sure, there were hot headed Dominants that thought they owned the place during parties, but even then Carl could see right through them), but the first time he had seen the man Carl knew that he wasn't like the rest. 

_Negan_ , he went by. Carl didn't know if that was his first name or last name or hell, if that was even his name at all. Everyone in the community had what was called a 'scene' name - an alias of sorts if you didn't want to go by your actual name. Carl didn't want to be known as anything other than Carl, so he didn't come up with something new. He knew Kitten's real name but he'd never call her that for her own privacy. 

Negan was, indeed, an arrogant bastard. The kind that made Carl's skin crawl. The way he commanded whatever room he was in, the way the people surrounding him almost seemed to worship the ground that the man walked on. The way the community leaders practically threw themselves at him for his opinion on _anything_ \- it made Carl sick.  He was a leather title holder, International Man Of Leather 2010, and while at first Carl figured that might have been where the man's arrogance came from, another community leader told him that he'd always been that way. They explained to him that Negan had every right to be arrogant, he had been mentored by _Grandmaster Mulligan_ , after all, and anyone who served under him was lucky. 

But that was the thing; no one ever _did_ serve under the man. At least they hadn't since Carl had joined. Negan had scenes, sure, usually with the fresh meat that joined the community. Girls, boys, it didn't seem to matter to Negan - he always had one of the newbies wrapped around his arm ( _or leg, or cock..._ ) at every party he went to. Carl was grateful the man hadn't approached him when he was first welcomed into the community (or at least, that was what he told himself).  In fact, the man had pretty much made it seem like he didn't know Carl existed at all. Which was a good thing, he told himself. A very good thing. Maybe he just wasn't Negan's type (not that it mattered....). 

Carl had learned to just ignore him, which was sometimes hard to do when the man seemed to be everywhere, even when he wasn't. Every party Carl went to, he was there. Every class he went to, Negan wasn't there but he could guarantee someone was going to be talking about him and all of the _great things he'd done for the community._ Gag.

Carl didn't fully understand why he disliked the man so much; he wanted to say it was his arrogance and the way he barely even looked at you unless you were an old friend, community leader or a new piece of meat he could fuck, but sometimes... sometimes Carl wondered if there was something more behind his disdain for the older male. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Kitten teased him about it whenever he went on one of his ' _stupid Negan_ ' rants - she told him that it was because Carl harbored some sort of crush on the leader. As if. The thought always made him snort and shove at her shoulder playfully, though he never really could come up with a good enough comeback. He didn't have a crush on him. He _couldn't_. It wasn't like he would ever have a shot with him anyway, right? Not that he wanted one, of course. No sir. Negan was a force he didn't feel like handling, and while yeah, sometimes he ached to just be taken by a Dominant - any Dominant, for fuck sake he was starting to look desperate - he was sure that if Negan was the only option then he would have to politely decline. And he would.

Right?

Right. 

So when that familiar face and sauntering walk gracefully made their way into the coffee shop Carl worked at on campus that day, he told himself his heart most certainly did _not_ skip a motherfucking beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, I hope you enjoyed chapter one. I know it was kind of boring, but I had to set it up somehow, right? Stay tuned for chapter two!
> 
> ~WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN~


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carl is a sassy little bitch, Negan is forward and things literally go no where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WONDERFUL COMMENTS ;_; seriously nothing brightens my day like reading what you all think of my writing. It tickles warmth out of my cold old soul. 
> 
> I was asked how often will I update, and to be completely honest... I don't have like, a set schedule for it. I want to say I'll get out at least a chapter a week (maybe even sometimes more) but I also don't want to put myself on a time constraint because I fear that it'll kill my muse. As of right now I have a TON of muse for this fic and have three chapters written so far and writing more as we speak, so it'll probably be updated pretty often at least for awhile. Comments, kudos, questions and all around encouragement keep my muse a firey ball of rage, so keep that in mind!!!

 "I'll have a 16 ounce black coffee, if ya don't mind," Negan's drawl rang through Carl's ears, almost making him forget that  _he_ was the one taking the man's order. He stared blankly at the other male for a long moment, questioning God and anyone who was listening why _Negan_ of all people had shown up in the coffee shop on _campus_ , but all it earned him was a quirk of one eyebrow - the smug smirk that Negan seemed to wear almost constantly never leaving his face.

Carl stammered then, jamming his fingers against the screen in front of him to make the damn machine work and do its thing, and he managed to get out a huffed, _"Right, yeah, that'll be $6.75,"_ before (shakily, he noted with a hint of embarrassment) taking the money from the other man and giving him his change. It wasn't Negan himself that made the boy nervous - he didn't give a flying fuck what the man thought of him - but moreso the fact that he wasn't used to his kink life overlapping with his school life. They were two different worlds to Carl. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his kink lifestyle, it was just that he wasn't about to go broadcasting it to his entire campus just for the hell of it. And being seen here, with Negan, felt like he was doing just that.

The only thing that had him reassuring himself as he reached to grab the 16 ounce cup was the fact that Negan seemed to have no idea who he was. Good. It was better that way. To the other man he was just a barista here to take his order. Nothing more. He scrawled out the man's name on the cup and slid it down the counter to his coworker who would make the beverage (and by make he meant pour, it wasn't like the man ordered something complex). When he steeled himself enough to look back at the man, he was met with an amused expression that took him back slightly. Why was he looking at him like  _that_? He didn't have time to think about it as Negan stepped aside to let the next person in line through. Grateful for the distraction, he got to taking the woman's order and money, asking for her name as he wrote it on her cup in his lazy scrawl. 

"Um. Nee- Neh- Neghan?" Carl heard his coworker stumble through the name on the cup, pronouncing it one would the name 'Megan.' 

"It's _Negan_ ," he found himself correcting her on impulse, but practically scolded himself the moment the words fell from his lips as they were echoed by another gruffer, familiar voice. Negan and him had corrected her at the same time. He barely had time to register the soft _'whatever, I'm going on break,'_  his coworker threw at them before his eyes flicked up to latch onto the hazel pair that were staring right back at him. He swallowed thickly. There was that damn amused look on his face again. What was his problem? He watched with irritation boiling in his guts as Negan gestured with one hand to the line that was slowly forming due to Carl neglecting his job in favor of questioning the glances the older man was aiming his direction.

Cursing to himself, he tore his vision away from the man and went back to his job. He had to work double since his coworker went on break, and all thoughts of Negan and his dumb facial expressions melted away as he slammed out order after order until finally his coworker came back some odd 20 minutes later. By the time she had come back, however, the line had dissipated and Carl was busying himself with wiping down the counter. 

"So," a rough voice sounded in his ears, and he froze in place. Slowly he shifted his gaze upwards, following along one tattooed, muscled arm before finally landing on Negan's face. Why was he still there? He had gotten his coffee almost half an hour ago. Had he just been standing there staring at Carl the entire time he worked? He looked at the man expectantly, as if to hurry him on because he _obviously_ had _so much work_ to get back to. Negan continued, "You seem to know my name but I don't believe I've had the pleasure of knowing yours," he drawled, words falling from his lips like silk. Carl could see how newbies fell for his act so easily. 

"I-I don't know your name," he blurted out almost immediately in defense. He realized quickly how stupid that sounded and slowed down, getting out a little more tactfully, "I mean, I do, but only because you told me. So I could write it on your cup." He could feel a nervous tingle in his spine as he watched the leader shake his head. 

"Nah, never told ya. You never asked." The man's eyes were practically twinkling, and Carl wanted to punch that smug smirk right off of his stupid face. Surely he had asked the man for his name, just like he always did. The interaction from earlier played in his head and he frowned when he realized that he hadn't, in fact, asked the man for his name. 

Shit. 

So much for keeping a low profile, Carl. 

"I, uh, so?" he barked out, voice giving away his lack of control over the situation. He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at the other male, crossing his arms across his chest as to make a point. "So I know your name - so what?" 

"So," he repeated. "I believe I asked for yours." The smile never left his stupid face and it was grating on Carl's nerves. Why did he want to know so bad? He was just about to pointedly direct the man toward the nametag on his chest when he realized he wasn't wearing it. Of course he forgot it today. "And while you're at it, why not tellin' me  _how_ exactly you know my name?" 

"Carl," he managed to get out. "My name is Carl," he repeated with a short, curt nod, releasing his arms from his chest and going back to scrubbing at the counter. He might as well look like he was doing _something_ , and he needed the distraction from those damn eyes. "I know you because... of... um..." His eyes darted around the room, making sure no one was paying attention to their conversation before he met the other male's gaze. " _The community,_ " he practically whispered. 

A look of realization flashed across Negan's face, though it wasn't surprised at all. "Carl..." The boy watched him test the name out on his tongue, rolling it around in his mouth a few times for good measure. He very pointedly ignored the way his insides clenched up at the sound of his name in the man's low drawl. No, he did  _not_ have a thing for Negan. 

Negan tapped his fingers against his cup and Carl watched him literally size him up. Watched those heavy eyes wash over him from top to bottom and back up again. It made the boy feel almost naked.  _What a fucking pervert,_ Carl thought bitterly. "Well, Carl, I can't say I've seen ya around," he finally spoke. Carl almost rolled his eyes. _Yeah, cause you're too busy schmoozing up whatever fresh, perky young thing that walks through the front door of the Clubhouse._  When Carl didn't respond, the man continued. God, did he ever shut _up_? "Not surprisin', though. The community's gettin' bigger and bigger every day, there are plenty'a people I don't know these days. Funny, 'cause about ten years ago you coulda fit everyone in one big circle jerk. Times are changin', though." 

Jesus, Carl wanted to run as far away from this conversation as he possibly could. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to talk about the community in front of a bunch of people - no, he didn't care about that - it was that he didn't want to be having this conversation with _Negan_. He was happy living in a world where the man didn't know who he was. But here they were, Negan knew his name now and there was no escaping that reality. Kitten was sure to have a hay day over this when he told her. 

Carl pretended to be listening to what the other man had to say, catching something about the community growing bigger every day before he nodded. When it seemed like there was a pause in the man's speech, he flung the towel he'd been using over his shoulder. "Sorry, I, uh, have to get back to work," he stated, nodding over Negan's shoulder toward the next customer in line. 

"When's your break?" Why did he want to know that?

"Uh," Carl started, eyes flickering over to the clock on the wall. Technically he could take it at any time after two hours of his shift, and he was nearing three now. "In forty minutes," he lied. Hopefully the man would just leave and not bother him anymore. 

But that was wishful thinking. Negan flashed him a predatory grin and nodded once. "I'll wait," he stated, and took a few steps back to go sit in one of the chairs by the window, not giving the boy time to reply. Carl's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He would _wait_? What the _hell_? It was forty fucking minutes - didn't the man have something better to do? Didn't he have a life? A job? Anything? And why the hell wait for Carl? Why was he so interested? If Carl hadn't caught his eye at a kink event thus far, what made now different? He would have groaned in frustration if he didn't have customers to tend to. 

Carl took his time. He went slow, took every order and helped his coworker make the drinks, wiped down the counter probably more times than was really necessary, and he watched the clock. 20 minutes went by... then 30... then 40... He pointedly continued bustling behind the counter when the forty minute mark hit. Hopefully if he took longer than he said he was then Negan would just go away and he wouldn't have to face whatever conversation the man wanted to have with him. 

But then the 55 minute mark came and yet Negan still sat in the same place had had the entire time - one foot propped up on the seat across from him under the table ( _god damn_ his legs were long), leaned back in his chair and staring at his phone - and Carl couldn't justify cleaning the counters  _again_. Not to mention his coworker kept shooting him weird looks for not having taken his break yet. "I'm going, I'm going," he finally told her after the third look in ten minutes. He took his apron off slowly, taking the time to calm his nerves before he would inevitably have to walk across the shop. He could slide out the back - take his break in peace - but he knew that was cowardly and Carl Grimes was  _not_ a coward. 

So after inwardly cursing at himself for a solid three minutes, he made his way over to the table where Negan sat, folding his arms across his chest defiantly when he got there. "Hi," he stated, his tone maybe a bit more harsh sounding than he originally meant. It caught the man's attention, though, and Negan quickly set his phone on the table in front of him before moving his foot from its perch. 

"Hi," he got in return with a deviant smirk. "Sit," he stated, gesturing to the seat across from him. With gritted teeth Carl sat down where Negan's foot previously resided.

"So what do you want with me?" Carl practically barked at him. It was best to get to the point. He didn't like beating around the bush, and the surprise that briefly flashed across Negan's features told him that wasn't what the man was expecting. 

"Well damn, aren't you a little ball'a fire, huh?" He let out a soft chuckle to accompany his words. Carl watched him lick his lips ( _no_ , he most certainly was _not_ staring at his mouth) before continuing on. "Guess we ain't playing games here. I'll be blunt too, then. So..." He leaned forward on the table on his forearms, and something told Carl it wasn't just to keep the conversation private. There was a wicked glint in his eyes, and the boy had to resist the urge to swallow thickly. "Who owns you?"

Carl weighed the question in his mind for a few moments, narrowing his eyes at the other male and leaning back in his seat. He cocked his own eyebrow at the man, though the grin never left the cocky bastard's face. He chose his words carefully. "How do you know I'm not a Dominant?" 

Negan outright _laughed_ at him then, smacking one large hand down onto the table in front of him with a practical wheeze, and Carl was grateful the coffee shop was relatively empty for once. "You? A Dominant? C'mon, kid, quit pullin' my balls here. I've been around a long time, don't think me stupid. I knew the second I saw ya that you want someone tuggin' on the reins." 

"How?" Carl demanded, his voice faltering a little bit. He wanted to know  _how_ this idiot man had sniffed him out in a ten minute half conversation. 

"Call it intuition," was all he got in response. Well, that and a sultry wink that had Carl torn between wanting to gag and wanting to melt (wait, no, _what_?!). "Now quit playin' and answer the damn question."

"What question?" Carl asked airily, playing dumb. It was childish, but the boy considered it a success when he watched the man clench his jaw shut in frustration. 

"Who. Owns. You." came the clipped answer, and Carl was pleasantly surprised to see that  _something_ had knocked that stupid grin off of his face. He did look more menacing with just a scowl, though. Carl couldn't decide which version he preferred. Wait, was he _supposed_ to have a preference?

"Oh,  _that_ ," he said dismissively. He reached forward and tapped his fingers against the table, trying to decide how exactly he should answer the man's question. He could lie, tell him that he was owned by someone who didn't really frequent the Clubhouse. He could tell the truth, too. But what would Negan do if he found out he wasn't owned? Well, there was only one way to find out. "No one," he responded curtly. 

The sickening smile that stretched across Negan's lips was enough to make any weak animal cower, but all Carl did was give him an almost bored look. "Well, well, well, gotta say that changes the mood a little bit." He really was an arrogant bastard, Carl mused. A stupid, arrogant and attractive bastard. Wait, _attractive_? "So how about," he leaned forward on his forearms again. "You and I head back to my place for a little... one on one time?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and immediately any positive thoughts Carl might have had about the man were thrown out the window.

It was his turn to laugh incredulously in the other male's face. It came out at first as a soft choked sound as he processed Negan's words, but it quickly turned into a robust, full huff of laughter that fell from his lips. " _Seriously_?" he managed to get out, hand coming up to cover his mouth as his shoulders shook. "Does that actually work on people?" He pulled his hand away from his mouth and scooted his chair back, moving to stand. He finally contained himself and looked down at the older male. Negan actually looked almost _sheepish_ for once, clearly not used to being rejected and especially not in such a manner. He didn't even look at Carl, instead seemed to be focused on the table.

The words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. Every bad thing he had ever heard about Negan flashed through his mind as he spoke.  "Look, I'm not some fresh piece of meat you can stick your dick into just because you feel like it. The rest of the community might be ready to bend over and just take it from you, but that's not me. I have a little more self respect than that. You think because you're some big hot shot that anyone will sleep with you, but you're wrong. What you do - _seducing_ newcomers into sleeping with you just because you have a patch on your back - is an abuse of power, and you should be ashamed of yourself." Okay, so maybe he was going a little bit far. He didn't mean to sound so much like a mother. He needed to come back down from his little lecture. "Besides, who knows what I would catch from you?" he finished with a scoff. He knew that the last part was a bit of a petty jab, but he couldn't help it. "Thanks for wasting my break,"  _asshole_ , he wanted to add. 

He didn't say anything else as he walked away, and he didn't pay attention to see if Negan stormed out angrily or not. To be completely honest, he just didn't care. He was just grateful the man was gone the next time he looked over. He was still appalled that the leader had the gall to proposition him like that. He knew he shouldn't be - he knew Negan's reputation, knew what he was capable of. He knew that the man somehow got countless people to sleep and scene with him. Maybe it wasn't the fact he had offered that shocked Carl, but moreso the way he had gone about it? The way he just threw it out there the second he got the barista alone. No effort went into the way he had asked Carl, and the boy was almost... well... disappointed. He wasn't expecting to be fucking _wooed_ , but he also wasn't expecting to be treated like he was _easy_. 

He bit the inside of his cheek as he absentmindedly stared at the spot the man had occupied not long ago. He didn't regret saying what he did, but a new sense of dread washed over him. What if Negan told the other community leaders about his outburst? What if Negan got him blacklisted from Clubhouse events? No, the man wouldn't go that far... would he? Carl didn't know what he would do if he lost the community. It had become his new home so quickly, and the thought that he might lose that... well... it tore him up inside. _Way to go with your big mouth, Carl._ Carl. _Carl_. 

"Carl? Helllooooo, Carl? You in there?" His coworker's voice filled his ears and snapped him out of his thoughts. 

"Uh, yeah, sorry."

"Don't be. I was just saying if you wanted to you could head home. I'm almost done cleaning up and you barely even took a break today. I don't mind. Plus, you keep zoning out and it's giving me the creeps." 

Carl laughed and nodded, moving toward the back as he slipped his apron over his head. "Yeah, I think I will. Thanks, Sarah," he said. He clocked out and slipped out the back before he could fully hear her response.

Before his feet even touched the sidewalk he had his phone in his hands, fingers fumbling to find Kitten's message thread. It didn't take him long - she was always on top - and soon he was frantically typing out a message and hitting send. 

_**'You'll never guess what happened to me today at work.'** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me, if you're close to shouting 'GOD DAMNIT CORAL' right about now then you're not alone. 
> 
> As always, if you have any questions, comments or anything, feel free to shoot me a message on tumblr at cxgan! Be my friend, I have none. ;_;


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kitten is the voice of reason, things happen and Carl runs from his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments and words of encouragement fuel me.
> 
> This link might be helpful for this chapter if you're not familiar with what subspace is: http://helloflo.com/what-is-subspace/

 "I still can't believe you told him off like that," came Kitten's voice from her small bathroom where she was doing her makeup. Carl was rather unceremoniously sprawled out on her bed, face buried in her pillows and shielding himself from the world.

"Don't remind me," Carl groaned in response. He just wanted to forget about that entire conversation. Wanted to forget that Negan had approached him at all. 

"Y'know, I'm still not surprised he came onto you, Carl," she continued, stepping into view and leaning against the door frame that lead into her bedroom. "You are hot," she added. "When I first met you I had a bit of a crush on you too."

"He doesn't have a crush on me, Kitten. He just wants to fuck me."

"Why is that such a bad thing, though? I know you haven't been laid in forever. Might be a good thing for you to release some tension. No offense."

"Because it's _Negan_ ," he insisted like it was a viable answer. 

"So what? So what if he's fucked a million people - _I've_ fucked a million people and you don't think I'm gross. Do you?" There was a hint of worry in her voice, and Carl responded almost immediately. 

"No."

She frowned. Carl couldn't see the frown, but he could hear it. "It's normal for people to be like that in the community. It's supposed to be a judgement free zone. People can stick their dick into whatever they want as long as it's consensual. Unless you think it's a matter of consent. You don't think he's..."

Carl sighed. "No, I don't. I know the people that sleep with him do it willingly, but it just feels like he takes advantage of them."

"Have you ever considered that maybe they want to be taken advantage of? That's a kink of mine." Huh. Well. No. He hadn't thought of that. He finally looked up at her and she waved him off. "I'm just saying that there are two sides to every story, and you haven't even listened to one side. Have you ever even spoken to one of the people he's fucked?"

"Well... Yes... but not about that...." He just felt like an idiot now. Of course he'd never asked them about it - he didn't need Negan to find out he'd been digging into his life behind the scenes. 

"Then I rest my case. You want to know what I think?"

"Haven't you been telling me already?" Carl shot her a half assed grin. 

"Shut up. I think that you just don't want to admit that you liked being hit on by him. And hell, there's nothing wrong with that. Even I would like to be hit on by him. Have you _seen_ him? Phew. Talk about a tall drink of water." She fanned herself and Carl rolled his eyes. Why was everyone so obsessed with this guy? She grinned at him and he resisted the urge to groan. "I know you're worried that he's going to get you kicked out of the Clubhouse for what you said, but I seriously doubt that. I bet you that tonight he's going to be there and he's going to try to get you to go home with him all over again. And you should go with him. Really. You need to get laid, Carl. How long has it been?"

"Four months," he replied with a wince. 

" _Exactly_ ," she stated with a short nod of her head. "I'm not saying you have to, but you should at least consider it. You do find him attractive, don't you?" Shit. She had never asked him  _that_ before. He couldn't dignify her words with a response, so instead just gave a short, embarrassed nod. He didn't like admitting the fact, but it was something he couldn't deny; the man was gorgeous. "Then what do you have to lose? Sure, you'll be another notch on his bed post, but maybe you'll stop carrying around all that extra tension for awhile." 

Maybe she was right. No, Carl knew she was right. She always was. It was one of the reasons that she was his best friend. But could he really sleep with Negan? Could he stand to look at that stupid smug smirk long enough to get plowed? She could be wrong, too. Maybe Negan didn't want to try again. Maybe what Carl had said had halted everything between them. Carl wouldn't necessarily mind if that was the case. He couldn't lie, that small flicker of power he had had over the man (however brief) was a little bit intoxicating. Maybe that was how Dominants felt all the time. Maybe he should look into changing his role. He scrunched up his nose at that thought. Nah.

"I'll think about it," he gave her. The girl clapped happily, making him roll his eyes again. 

"Good! And hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"I bet you he likes to be called daddy," she trilled, quickly dodging the pillow Carl threw at her and running back into the bathroom. That was a kink of his they didn't talk about.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The walk up to the Clubhouse from Kitten's car that night didn't give Carl the relief it usually did. It didn't feel like coming home for once. It felt like he was walking into a battle zone. What if he was turned away at the door, told he was blacklisted? No, Kitten was right... Negan wouldn't go that far. Something in him hoped that the man wouldn't be at the party that night. He remembered his promise to Kitten, telling her he'd think about taking the man up on his offer ( _if_  it was offered again), and it made his guts swirl nervously. How did one come back from what he had said to him? 

He greeted the person managing the door - Sparky, an energetic, friendly pup that Carl enjoyed the company of - and paid his entrance fee, waiting for Kitten to pay hers before they ventured into the house. Thankfully not blacklisted. "Sometimes I forget you're not twenty one," came Kitten's voice from his side, flashing her neon green wristband at him that indicated she was. That meant it was a wet party (where alcohol was served); most parties were dry events unless there was a special occasion. "Don't worry, I'll sneak you drinks," she reassured him with a pat on the shoulder. Good. He would need it if he was going to face _him_ tonight. 

He went about his rounds, greeting people he knew, hugging and kissing cheeks before settling in one of the green rooms and striking up a conversation with a friend. Over the course of an hour Kitten slipped him two drinks, and Carl was a bit embarrassed by how much his head was swimming already. He was definitely a lightweight. He scanned the room and those walking in an out of it repeatedly - no sign of Negan yet. But they _had_ gotten to the party a bit earlier than usual. 

Feeling a good buzz going on as he finished half of his third drink, he wrapped up the conversation he was having and decided to move into the kitchen to see what snacks they had laid out. He was in the process of shoving a Ritz cracker with cheese into his mouth when he heard a low drawl behind him. "Fancy seein' you here," it said, and Carl finished chewing and swallowing before he turned around. Sure enough, there he was - white t-shirt, jeans and leather vest that had his IMOL patch on the back. Typical Negan party attire. Carl had seen him once or twice before in all of his leathers, but usually only on special occasions. 

Carl's throat went dry and he pretended it was because of the cracker. "I'm always here," he quipped back. Too tight. Too harsh. _Loosen up a little bit, Carl. Remember what Kitten said._

"Right," came Negan's reply, and if Carl didn't know any better it would seem like the man was almost _nervous_. Surely that was the alcohol talking. "I was hopin' I'd catch ya." Carl's eyebrow quirked at that, and before he could say anything else a folded paper was shoved rather hastily into his free hand. His eyebrow didn't change positions and he took a long swig of his drink before setting it down on the counter behind him. He turned his attention down to the paper Negan had pushed into his hand, unfolded it and focused his vision on the text. 

His gaze first flickered over the date in the corner, which was for one week ago. Two days before his incident with Negan in the coffee shop. He read on, looking further. The first thing that caught his eye was the repeated word of **NEGATIVE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE** in a column on the right side, and upon further inspection he realized that he was holding the results of a full STD panel. So his words _had_ affected him. Clearly to the point that Negan felt like justifying himself to the boy. Carl smirked inwardly at the realization. It felt almost nice to have that kind of power over someone. "So the answer is nothin'." Negan's voice forced his gaze up from the paper. "You wouldn't catch nothin' from me." He snatched the paper out of Carl's hands and shoved it back into his pocket. 

Carl narrowed his eyes at the other man. What was he playing at? "So what, you think that just because you can prove to me that you don't have the clap that I'll magically change my mind and sleep with you?" At this rate he definitely wasn't going home with the other man. Sorry Kitten. 

"No," Negan said almost defensively, a little too quickly. He reached up and scratched the back of his neck, a nervous action that shocked the younger man. _Negan_ , nervous? It almost seemed wrong. "Well... Yeah," he confessed. The boy scoffed, he should have listened to his best friend when she said that the older male would try again. Why was she always right? 

Carl wanted to dig into him, rip him apart again like he had at the coffee shop. Tell him all the ways he was wrong. Repeat over and over again why exactly the boy would not sleep with him. But then Kitten's words rang in his head: _'You need to get laid, Carl.'_ and fuck, he knew she was right. It wasn't like he had other prospects waiting for him elsewhere. Sure, he'd been approached by people a few times over the last few months, but he'd pretended he didn't know they were hitting on him and went on his merry way. He didn't like Dominants that beat hesitantly around the bush, waiting for him to make the first move. That wasn't his job. 

So why did the thought of being with Negan appall him so much? He was clearly forward enough for Carl - he told him exactly what he wanted, and had even gone so far as to prove to the boy that he wouldn't catch anything if he slept with him. Maybe Kitten was right. Maybe he was just in denial about enjoying being hit on by the man. Negan was... well... he was attractive. Yes. Carl could admit that part. He had admitted it to Kitten earlier, so he might as well start admitting it to himself. Every ounce of Negan from his boots to his salt and pepper hair Carl was attracted to. Even that stupid smug smirk with those gorgeous fucking teeth had the teenager melting. Yeah, maybe he'd been in denial for awhile about how he actually felt about the community leader. His attraction didn't change the fact he was a seedy bastard - he was crude and harsh and unbelievably full of himself, but in a way those things were kind of attractive too. Ugh. He was fucked.

He was convinced he wouldn't be confessing any of this to himself if he hadn't been almost three drinks in, the buzz from the alcohol swirling his thoughts and chipping away at the sturdy walls Carl had carefully put up ever since his last relationship went sour. But Negan didn't want a relationship. He just wanted to fuck Carl, and god... Carl would be lying if he said he didn't need it. Every party he went to he secretly hoped _someone_ would take the lead and just fuck his brains out, and even went so far as to prepare himself beforehand just in case it was quick with little foreplay. 

"Alright," he finally spoke, snapping himself away from his thoughts as he glared up at the other man. He probably shouldn't glare at him if he was planning on going home with him, but whatever. It was just Carl's face. Something akin to shock rolled across Negan's features for only a brief flash, but was quickly replaced with that stupid smug smirk that Carl found himself liking more and more. "But not here." The Clubhouse was his safe space, and not that he was putting himself in an unsafe situation.... he just... didn't want it tainted with the memory of fucking Negan where anyone could see. The environment wasn't really private - wasn't designed for privacy - and Carl didn't want everyone to know that he'd finally given in to the leader. "And no kink. Just sex." He ignored the almost disappointed look on the man's face - he wasn't going to budge on his demands for the evening. Just sex. Just one quick fuck to get the man out of his system, and that would be it. He could move on.

"You make the rules, kid," Negan stated, making Carl roll his eyes at the irony as he picked up his drink and downed the rest of it. The older man took a step forward, one hand snaking up to rest heavily on Carl's hip. "Let's get outta here then," he gestured with his head toward the door, and Carl slid out of his grasp to walk right past him. He didn't see Kitten anywhere in the nearest rooms, so he pulled out his phone and shot her a quick text: ** _'Leaving with you-know-you. Tell you about it later.'_** He made his way to the front door and looked back just as Negan was telling someone goodbye. The man caught up with him and they walked through the front door together, though soon enough Negan stepped in front of him to lead the way. His nerves rattled in his body as he followed the other male, confusion taking hold of him as he realized they were just walking down the street rather than going to a car. Where was he taking him? 

His question was quickly answered as Negan stepped up the front porch of the house neighboring the Clubhouse, and he cocked an eyebrow at the other male. "You live next door to the Clubhouse?" Seriously? How far up the community's ass was this guy? 

"You didn't know?" Negan asked with a smirk, pushing the door open and holding it there for Carl to step through. "I own the Clubhouse, too. Mulligan passed them down to me when he went - good guy, he was." Wait, he owned the Clubhouse? How had no one told him _that_? He thought the safe haven was owned by the community in general - multiple people maintained it, so it only made sense that multiple people would own it. He'd never even considered that _Negan_ of all people owned it. It baffled him just a little bit - not that he'd let on that it had. He didn't want to appear like some doe-eyed newbie that was hanging on the man's every word.

Carl didn't push the subject of Grandmaster Mulligan, though he wanted to. He'd heard so much about the Master, about how he'd practically established the kink community from nothing and molded it into what it was today. He'd known that Negan had mentored underneath him - and maybe one day he could ask the man about it - but today was not that day. He was here for one thing, and one thing only. 

The house itself wasn't very big, which surprised Carl. He didn't know why but for some reason he figured that the other man would have lived in some big garish McMansion - something as big as his stupid ego was. But while the house wasn't very big it was... surprisingly well put together. The entryway lead into a living room where a few couches, an armchair and an entertainment center resided, and he assumed that through the next door over was the kitchen. "Remodeled it when it became mine, though - place was a shit hole before that," came Negan's voice behind him as he turned on a light in the living room they stood in. Despite the room lighting up everything was still dark - his couches were black, his armchair was black, and the only thing that wasn't really black was the hardwood floor beneath his feet. Negan liked his dark colors, it seemed. 

Carl simply nodded, not really sure of how to reply. He wasn't a conversationalist like it appeared Negan was. That and well, his head was still buzzing from the alcohol and he was still surprised he had actually come this far. But here he was, in the man's house, and he wasn't turning back now. He moved to take a step backward and his back collided with a strong chest - he moved to apologize awkwardly but before the words could fall from his mouth he was flipped around by rough hands, one of said hands finding its way to his hip and the other reaching up to brush a calloused thumb across his bottom lip. Carl's vision shifted from the chest in front of him upwards to Negan's face, and he swallowed at what he found in the older man's eyes. Fire. Hunger. Pure, unadulterated lust. "Why no kink?" came the other man's voice as he ran his hand down Carl's neck, thumb pressing into his adam's apple, and just that action alone had the boy twitching in his jeans. Jesus, it really had been too long. 

"Because," Carl started, reaching up to rest his hands on Negan's hips. He was very aware that the man was inching closer to him second by second - their stomachs were touching and soon Negan's face was close enough that he could feel the other man's hot breath against his face. "I don't feel like negotiating," he breathed out in a practical whisper. It was a viable excuse - all kink play came with negotiations, especially if you didn't know one another; the only time it didn't was if you were in a relationship or dynamic and your partner just knew you well enough, but even then typical kink rules still applied (safe words, consenting, etc....) - but in all reality he was afraid he would enjoy what Negan could give him a little _too much_. He _was_ one of the best Dominants in the community, after all, and Carl couldn't ignore that. He didn't want to end up deeper in this than he wanted to be. Negan just wanted a hook up, nothing more. Carl didn't want anything more either (right? right.). 

Negan gave him a dark chuckle and leaned even further forward, and for a moment the boy thought his lips were going to brush against his own and closed his eyes to prepare himself for it... But harsh stubble met his jawline as Negan nudged past his lips in favor of the skin of his neck. That was fine - he probably just wasn't the kissing kind of guy. Carl could live with that. Teeth found their way to his neck and the hand holding his hip tightened, pulling him closer until the entire front of his body was flush against the leader's. "O- _Oh_ ," he stuttered out, eyes slipping shut as the man's mouth latched onto his skin, sucking what was sure to be an angry red mark in the morning. Carl forgot to care. All that mattered was Negan's warm hands on his flesh and the consistent throb in his own lap. The hand previously pressing against his neck moved to his long hair, fingers threading through his dark locks and his head was yanked back, making him hiss in surprise.

Lips were against his ear - he could feel the prickle of the stubble against the shell - and teeth nipped at it. "Bet you like it rough though, don't ya?" the words were half whispered in a sultry tone that sent shivers down the younger man's spine. All Carl could do was bite back a moan and nod. A burly thigh nudged his legs apart and pressed directly against his groin, making him whimper as it moved back and forth. "Yeah, I can tell you do. Need a big, strong man to tell you what to do - how to dress, how to act - need someone to control that hot mouth'a yours. Don't worry, sugar, I'm gonna take care'a ya. Gonna fuck that perky little ass nice and hard until you're screamin' for it." Carl held back another moan, which only made the man yank on his hair again. "Don't hold back on me, baby, I wanna hear the sounds that come out of that pretty little mouth." If there was one thing that Carl was a sucker for, it was dirty talk. Mark only gave it to him occasionally - usually the boy had to beg it out of him and half of the time it sounded forced anyway - but here Negan was, spewing filth into his ear, hot and heavy like the thigh on his crotch was. 

Fumbling hands found their way down between them and Carl hesitantly pressed his palm to the front of Negan's jeans, eliciting a huffed groan in his ear as the other man continued assaulting his neck. Suddenly it was far too hot to be wearing so many layers of clothing and Carl pulled back to tug on the leather vest adorning the man's shoulders. Negan seemed to catch on pretty quick, shucking the garment off somewhere behind him and helping the younger man pull his own shirt off before he moved to Carl's simple black v-neck. Finally skin contacted skin, and Carl couldn't hold back the wanton moan that spilled from his lips as Negan latched back onto his neck, trailing down to his collarbone. He didn't even have time to ogle the other man's naked torso, much to his dismay. Two calloused fingers pinched one of Carl's nipples and he whined, practically grinding against the thigh between his legs. "So fuckin' eager for it - I _like_ it. Bet you just can't wait to ride my cock." 

"Ne-Negan, p- _please_ ," he panted out, weak hands pulling at the other man's belt. 

"What, you want my cock already? Can't wait for it?" A soft huff of laughter rumbled the older male's chest and Negan was suddenly pulling back, pulling away from the younger boy. Carl bit his lip with a passion filled gaze as he watched him saunter over to the couch and flop down onto it - fuck, he was hot. Just the way he moved made the boy's own dick twitch in his pants. "C'mere, then, sugar - show me what ya got," Negan practically purred at him, undoing his belt. Carl nearly surged forward and was on his knees in between the man's thighs in a second, lithe fingers struggling to tug open the man's jeans and grunting in effort when he pulled them down to his knees, not bothering to pull them off all of the way (because then that meant having to undo the man's boots, too, and Carl didn't trust himself with those fucking _boots_ \- this was supposed to be a non-kink encounter, after all). He was met with a pair of dark, silky-feeling boxer briefs, and had he not been so overcome with lust he would have rolled his eyes at that fact. The man was clearly straining against the fabric, and Carl licked his lips. "Go on, it ain't gonna bite ya." 

That was all the permission Carl needed as he looped his fingers underneath the waistband of his underwear and tugged them down in one fluid motion. Negan's cock immediately sprang to life before flopping back down, thick and heavy, against his thigh. And fuck, Carl had to take moment to just _stare_ at it. He'd seen a lot of dicks in his life - thin dicks, thick dicks, long dicks, small dicks - but he'd never seen one quite like Negan's. It was honestly his ideal cock - thick, veiny as all hell, about 8 and a half inches and with a slight curve. The boy's mouth outright watered, reminding him what it was he had set out to do just now. He reached out and grasped it at its base, weighing it in his hand before closing his mouth over the tip. That earned him a delicious sounding moan and Carl moved down, taking the length further into his mouth until it hit the back of his throat and then took it even deeper. " _Fuck_ , Carl," the man spoke, hands immediately threading through Carl's long locks. For once it seemed the older man was at a loss for words. 

If there was one thing Carl could do, it was suck cock. It was one of the things he enjoyed most. Sure, getting his own cock sucked was fun and all and it felt good, but nothing truly beat hot, wet flesh filling his mouth over and over again. Nothing quite beat the power that he had over a man when his dick was in Carl's throat. When he first joined the community his blow jobs were what he was known for - and after awhile he'd lost track of how many he had actually given. He'd given a few in the last four months - could never really break the habit - but nothing like this. He let Negan guide him, let him push down on his head and licked at the underside of his cock when he was buried to the hilt in Carl's throat (the boy had lost his gag reflex ages ago). Carl sucked greedily, lapping at the man and slowly... ever so slowly... he felt a familiar headspace tickle the back of his mind. _More_ , it egged him on,  _more_. He wanted it to fucking consume him. Wanted to fall so heavily back into that headspace he never came up for air. He never wanted to stop, never wanted to be separated from Negan again. Just wanted to take care of him and please him and get him to make those noises and praising comments over and over again. _Please, daddy, please cum down my throat. I wanna take care of you, daddy. I need you._

That thought stopped him dead in his tracks. No. That was exactly why he hadn't wanted kink to happen in this encounter. Because he knew he'd slip into subspace. He knew his mind would go down that route and he didn't want it to. Since when did giving a fucking _blow job_ put him into subspace? What the hell kind of power did this man have over him _already_? Negan didn't want a relationship, he just wanted a hook up, but the sudden realization that a relationship was _all_ Carl wanted washed over him and he froze. That's why he hadn't had sex with anyone in four months. The last hook up he had left him feeling dirty and wrong, used and tossed to the side like an old rag. He didn't want that feeling again. He wanted a dynamic again. He wanted someone to take care of and be taken care of in return. It all made sense now. _That_ was why he despised Negan so much - the man never wanted to settle down. He wanted to use people to his hearts content and toss them away like week old newspaper. It just went against everything that Carl wanted - that he had ever wanted. So how had he ended up in this situation? He knew better - fuck, he _so_ knew better. He knew better than to hop into bed with one of the most talented Dominants of the community like it was nothing. He should have known that the man would put him into subspace _somehow_. He should have just ran away as far as he could the second Negan had even suggested them sleeping together. But of course, he let his dick do his thinking for him and look where it got him.

It was all so overwhelming at once. His mind was still teetering between being fully back and being in that warm, all-encompassing headspace, but he had to get it under control. If Negan knew that he'd put him into subspace simply by shoving his cock down Carl's throat than he was sure to have a hay day with it, and they hadn't negotiated anything beyond just sex. He had to get out of here. He had to get out while he still could, before everything came crashing down around him and he wound up wanting more than just a quick fuck from the man on the couch (fuck, he had to admit it to himself, he already _did_ want more). 

Negan's dick fell from his lips and he pulled away violently, almost as if he were burned, and Negan's hands immediately fell from his hair and let him stumble a few steps back. And _god damnit_ he wanted Negan to be _angry_ with him. He wanted him to yell at him to stop fucking around and get back on his cock. In that very moment he wanted him to be like Mark. He wanted Negan to give Carl a reason to hate him. But instead for whatever reason the older male looked at him with genuine concern in his gaze. The lust was gone and all that was left was pure worry. "Carl? What's up? What's goin' on? Everything alright?" Negan sat up as he spoke, halfway to a standing position. "Carl?" 

_No, everything's not alright. Sorry, your dick down my throat just made me realize how lonely I am and made me want more than just a one time thing with you. Sorry you almost stuck your dick in a needy little bitch. Sorry I can't be a normal teenager and get my rocks off without wanting feelings to be involved. Sorry I put both of us in this stupid situation._

Carl shook his head, not really sure which question of Negan's he was answering but nonetheless he tried. "I'm sorry, I... I have to go." He shook his head and wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand. He managed to get over to where they'd been before and struggled to find his shirt, yanking it over his head aggressively before he stumbled towards the exit. He couldn't even look back at the man to tell him goodbye. If he looked back at him he'd wind up doing something stupid. So instead he staggered out the front door and practically ran down the street. He didn't want the man to follow him, either, and he figured if he got far enough then he wouldn't come looking for him. He couldn't go back to the Clubhouse, because the man would find him there. That and well, he didn't want Kitten to find him and question why he was back so soon. He didn't want to deal with that conversation right then. 

So he ran down the street until he was fairly confident that no one was following him, and quickly got on his phone to order a Lyft back to his apartment. His head was pounding, his chest hurt and he was dizzy. He just wanted to go home, take a long, hot shower and forget that any of this happened. Forget the way Negan's hands felt in his hair, the way his mouth felt on his flesh, the way his cock felt in his throat... Fuck.

If only it were that easy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
> 
> As always, if you have any questions, comments or anything, feel free to shoot me a message on tumblr at cxgan! Please message me even if you just want to talk. I need more people to talk to while I write this monster.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carl finally talks it out and Negan has a new proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for your lovely comments. ;_; They mean so much to me, seriously. 
> 
> Second of all, I know I've been cranking out these chapters fairly quickly and that's because I've had almost the last week off of work. They probably won't come as quick during the week but I will try my best to get at least one out for you guys, and then of course I'll update on the weekend. The only thing I have planned this next weekend is a kink party in my own community so other than that I'll be around to write. I already have most of chapter 5 written so that should be out in the next day or two. 
> 
> Third, I really struggled with this chapter because I wanted it to be realistic and not seem like I was rushing things. I'll explain why at the end of the chapter so I don't spoil anything, but I do hope you enjoy it regardless!

The rest of the weekend went by horribly. Carl stayed holed up in his room both Saturday and Sunday and refused to leave - even when Kitten tried to coax him out with promises of _not talking about it_ and ice cream. He knew he was going to have to explain what happened to his best friend eventually and the longer he put it off the worse it looked, but he just wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to admit to himself that he discovered he wanted more than just a hook up with _Negan_ , of all people. He didn't want to tell her how the man had made him feel in that short encounter in his living room. 

But the worse part was... the longer he stayed at home, alone in his room with nothing but his own thoughts... the more he imagined just what a dynamic with Negan might be like. Several times a day he caught himself daydreaming about rules and scenes and everything in between, and each time he growled at himself angrily and shut that shit down. He didn't need anymore fantasies about unrealistic shit that would never happen. 

Maybe it wasn't Negan specifically that he was pining over. Maybe it was just the thought of being with _any_ Dominant, and Negan's face just happened to fill in the blanks. That stupid, stupid, _stupid_ dreamy face. Carl wanted to punch himself. A week ago he had been horrified by the mere idea of doing anything with Negan, and now here he was longing to be with the man in more ways than one. He just felt ridiculous. Maybe this was how Negan got in all of those newbies heads - he fucked with them until they were obsessed with him and then broke them down. But then again, he'd never met someone who had had a bad experience with the older man. Maybe it was just Carl and his fucked up brain. 

It didn't help that the man had left angry red marks on his neck (marks that Carl had pressed against with two fingers greedily to feel the thrum of pain beneath his skin) and Carl just hoped they'd disappear before he went to class and work on Monday. 

All the showers in the world couldn't wipe Negan's face from Carl's mind, wipe away the feeling of his skin against his. Showers used to be his happy place - where he could just focus on the way the hot water felt against against his skin, in his hair, cascading down his back... but soon his mind flickered to the thought of a strong, naked chest pressed up against his back, burly arms wrapped around his torso and calloused fingers tugging at his nipples. No, showers clearly weren't a sacred place anymore. 

Sunday was the hardest; he laid in bed all day hidden deep beneath the covers, ignoring his phone when it went off every five seconds. Kitten was worried about him, and he felt bad, but he just couldn't face her yet. He'd go over to her place on Tuesday or Wednesday and explain himself. Maybe make her a nice dinner or something. He already knew how it would go. He'd tell her everything and she would feel bad for him, throw her arms around him and apologize for pushing him into Negan's arms or something like that. He'd tell her it wasn't her fault, that he was stupid to think he could just have a one night stand and not catch feelings for one of the greatest Dominants in their community. 

He didn't know what he was going to do. If he went back to the Clubhouse for next month's party, he was sure to run into the man there. He felt a little bad for how he'd left him - running out on him with no explanation or word. But at the same time he didn't want to face Negan. He didn't want to have to explain to him that he had to run because if he hadn't he would have fallen a lot deeper down the hole he already found himself in. He didn't want to talk about shit like _emotions_ with Negan. It was supposed to just be a hook up. A one night stand. A quick fuck to get it out of his system.

Maybe a month would be good for him. He'd stay away from the Clubhouse for an entire month up until the next party. He wouldn't go to the kink classes. He wouldn't go to Sunday Clean Up. He'd just stay at home and brood until these stupid feelings went away and then he could move on. One month without seeing Negan would surely be plenty of time to get over the man. To get over what happened. He just had to make it through the month without seeing any of his kinky family other than Kitten. He could do it. He _had_ to do it. 

He'd go to school and he'd go to work and pretend that Negan didn't exist. Yes, that was what he would do. No Negan, no problems. He could do this. 

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The Fates were all Dominatrixes, Carl had decided. Cruel, harsh, calculating Dominatrixes that loved nothing more than to fuck with the citizens of the world (especially Carl). Because as much as he wanted to forget Negan, to pretend that nothing had ever happened and to move on, the Fates just wouldn't allow that. And sure as shit, two hours into his shift the bell dinged indicating someone had walked in and Carl looked up only to be met with a pair of - still concerned, he noticed - hazel eyes. He flushed under Negan's gaze as he sauntered up to the front and the boy immediately moved to wipe down the counter, refusing to look up at him. "What can I get you?" he said absently without looking up. 

"Carl..." 

"16 ounce black coffee? That'll be $6.75," Carl continued, ignoring the way his guts lurched at the sound of his name on the other man's lips. Much to his surprise, Negan simply cursed to himself and pulled out his wallet, handing Carl some cash. The boy took it and punched it in the system before handing him his change, keeping his eye line on the older male's hands instead of meeting his eyes. Fuck, those hands... He took a cup and wrote Negan's name on it before sending it down the line and returning to his ministrations on the counter top. This was going to be the cleanest god damn counter top the world had ever seen. 

"Carl..." the man's rasp rang in his ears again. 

"What?" he finally snapped, eyes meeting the older man's in an instant. "What are you stalking me now?" Carl knew he needed to calm down and think rationally but he felt backed into a corner by the other man with no where to run. He wasn't supposed to see Negan for another month. Was supposed to be over him by time he saw him next. Instead, of course, Negan came to him while he was still raw - still ripped open and bare from their last encounter. 

The older male frowned, the corners of his lips turning downward into an almost pout, and Carl couldn't help but think it looked almost cute. God, he had a problem. " _No_ ," he began with a sigh. "No, god damnit, Carl, I just want to talk to you. I was gonna text or call you but didn't think it was a conversation we should be havin' over the phone." He reached up and ran a tired hand through his hair, and Carl had to ignore the want to do it with his own fingers. He could have quipped back angrily and asked him how he got his number in the first place, but he sighed in defeat instead.

"Fine. We'll talk." 

Instead of the usual smug smirk like Carl would have expected, a look akin to relief washed over the man's face. "When's your break?" 

Carl sighed. There was no point in making him wait this time. He might as well talk to him and get it over with. Plus, he didn't want to spend anymore time with the man than he had to. The more time he spent with him the more it seemed to fuel the ache within him. "I can take it now," he confessed, pulling his apron over his head and walking over to tell Sarah that he was going on break. He pulled the poured coffee out of her hand just as she was putting a lid on it. "I'll give it to him," he muttered before moving around the counter. Negan was already sitting in the seat he had been in the last time they met here. Carl sat across from him before sliding the coffee across the table to him. Negan seemed to be grateful for something to do with his hands as he clasped them around the steaming cup. "So.... what do you want?" He folded his arms across his chest - his last attempt at defense. 

Negan gave him an incredulous look and Carl knew it was stupid to play dumb. _He_ was the one who ran out on the other man, so _he_ should be the one explaining himself. But Carl wanted to pretend he lived in a world where their last meet up hadn't happened. "Seriously, kid? I mean... _seriously_?" His eyebrows scrunched together and he leaned forward on the table so he could lower his voice. "You leave me in the middle of the night with my dick literally hangin' out - flappin' in the motherfuckin' wind - with no rhyme or reason, and you expect me to be the one to start talkin'? Fuck, kid, I thought I... I thought I scared you." There was an edge of sadness to his voice, and Carl couldn't help but feel like he was imagining it. 

"No," he said quickly, shaking his head. He stared down at the table between them, unable to meet the older man's gaze. He unfolded his arms to appear lead harsh. "You didn't... You didn't scare me. I was having fun. A _lot_ of fun. That was the problem." 

"Care to enlighten me a little on why it was a problem?" 

Carl stared at Negan's hands. Those same hands that rolled over his body in the most intoxicating sort of ways... that curled around his throat and slid down his torso... "I started to slip into subspace," he finally confessed in more of a mumble than anything. "Which is why I didn't want kink to be involved to begin with," he added on. "And it wasn't -  I'm not saying you incorporated it or anything cause you were right when you said I wanted it.... um... _rough_... But it just... happened." 

"And why's that a bad thing?" Negan asked with a cocked eyebrow. The smirk wasn't there, but an amused look had formed on his face. He leaned back and sipped his coffee before licking his lips and placing it back on the table. "I woulda taken care'a ya, y'know... I'm not some rookie that doesn't know what aftercare is. You gotta give me more credit than that, kid." 

"I'm not saying you wouldn't have," he quipped back rather hastily, meeting the man's gaze for a mere second before averting his eyes again. He couldn't let those gorgeous orbs burn into his soul anymore than was absolutely necessary. Ugh, time for a round of honesty. "It's just... not something I want with a hook up. I very rarely even scene anymore because I just... don't like how I feel after. Even _with_ aftercare, coming out of that headspace and remembering that it was just a one time thing... It's hard." He didn't know why he was baring his heart to the man. Negan wouldn't get it; he was the biggest supporter of one-time things. Had he ever even owned someone? Had he ever been in a long term dynamic? He had to have been in at least one with how long he'd been around. Carl wanted to ask, but something stopped him. Did he really want to know? The pit of jealousy in his stomach told him no. 

"I get it," came the man's short reply. "Can't say it's the same for me, but I do get it." Carl just wanted to shrink in his seat and turn into a fucking bug. Maybe then he'd be able to escape this hell he was living in. Maybe if he was a bug he could escape stupid feelings about stupid Dominants with their stupid smug smirks and stupid, wonderful, filthy mouths. A brief period of silence fell over them and Carl checked the time to make sure he didn't need to start heading back; part of him had hoped it was time but it wasn't even close. Negan cleared his throat. "Carl, I'm only gonna ask you this once, so listen up. Look at me," he demanded in a stern tone that made Carl tingle. "And get that hair outta your face so I can see ya." Slowly he pushed his long hair out of his eyes and looked up at the man. "Now... what _is_ it that you want?" the words came out in a low drawl as the man focused on Carl's face.

Carl did not want to answer that. He didn't want to tell the man everything he had been thinking about for the last two days. It wasn't realistic anyway. Negan was going to continue to be Negan and do whatever the fuck he wanted, no strings attached. So instead, he narrowed his eyes at the other male and gave him a long, calculating look. "Why didn't you have me banned from the Clubhouse for what I said to you that day?" He knew it was a deflection but it would give him time to think about how to answer the man's question.

Negan seemed to take the bait, and whether it was because he was actually eager to answer Carl's question or he knew he was buying himself some time Carl didn't know. "It pissed me off, I ain't gonna lie to you there. But I also realized it takes a special kinda idiot to speak to me the way you did that day. It takes balls, kid. Big balls. Fuckin' _monster_ sized balls. And I fuckin' _like_ that. You know how many people roll over on their backs and show me their belly just 'cause I am who I am? You know what I could do to you for sayin' shit like you did to me? I ain't even just talkin' about physical." A shiver ran down Carl's spine at the empty threat. "But you didn't care about that shit for a _second_ , man. You just puffed your chest up all big and mighty-like and let me have it. And I respect that. Kid, you're a bad ass. You don't take shit from _nobody_." Very quickly, Carl found himself blushing and looking down. It was pretty difficult to make the boy blush as hard as he was, but here Negan was (his fucking crush of the month), complimenting him, telling him he was a bad ass. No one had ever called him a bad ass before. 

He took a second to get himself under control before finally clearing his throat and looking back up at the older man. Negan was smirking now, clearly pleased with himself at Carl's reaction. "Is that why you wanted to sleep with me again?"

" _Hell yeah_ it is. Bad ass kid like you, tellin' me off like I pissed in your cheerios that morning. Turned me the fuck on once I got past the initial anger. Temper gets the best of me sometimes. Got a lot of fight in ya though. Made me want to break it down a little bit." Carl's lips twitched, ignoring the way the man's words sent a rush of blood straight to his groin. God, he _wanted_ him to break it down. A lot more than just a little bit. 

Carl stared down at the table in front of him debating how he was going to answer the man's question. He knew he had to be truthful with him - Negan deserved that much after he'd walked out on him, after all. But he didn't want to give too much away. Despite what his role might suggest, Carl hated being vulnerable with the wrong people. "I want..." He sighed, biting his lip as he met the leader's gaze. "I just want a dynamic." Well, no, that was wrong. You could be in a dynamic with someone and not be in a relationship with them. He had seen it done plenty of times. "Not just a dynamic, a dynamic with a relationship," he corrected himself. "My last one was... rough," he admitted. "It didn't turn out right; he fucked with my head a little too much and not in the fun way." He watched Negan frown which irked him a little. He didn't need the man's pity. "One time scenes and hook ups make me feel empty. They're fun, sure, while they last. But then I get home and I realize..." He swallowed. "That I'm all alone again." 

Carl felt weird. That was the first time he had opened up about that kind of stuff to anyone, Kitten included, and he didn't know why he felt so comfortable telling Negan. Maybe it was his stupid crush on the man, but the boy felt like it was something else. Something deeper than that. There was some weird energy of understanding and trust between them that hadn't been there before. Probably because Carl _knew_ Negan wasn't going to force him to do anything he didn't want to do. Negan had been worried about him - hell, he'd been worried enough to come and stalk Carl at his god damn job for fuck sake - and that made a feeling of warmth spread throughout the boy's chest. He could have laughed at himself - a week or so ago he was practically shouting to the high heavens that if Negan ever approached him for anything he would tell him no, and now look at him. Melting like putty in the other man's strong grasp.

Negan seemed to be contemplating something for a very long time. So long that Carl worried he was going to have to go back to work if he took much time. He sipped at his coffee, stared out the window and sucked at his teeth for a long moment, clearly rolling Carl's words around in his head. Finally - after what felt like a god damn eternity - the man turned to look at him. He had an almost solemn, serious expression on his face and he leaned forward on the table, forearms resting on the wood and fingers intertwining with each other. "How would you feel... Carl, _look at me_." Carl didn't even notice he'd averted his gaze the second Negan's eyes fell on him again. It was habit when he was talking about his emotions. He quickly looked back up, gnawing on his bottom lip. Negan cleared his throat. "Now, bear with me here... How would you feel 'bout tryin' out a dynamic with me? Not just a dynamic," he grunted, looking down for a brief second before looking back up. "A relationship or whatever the shit you were talkin' about." 

The boy's jaw nearly dropped, and he couldn't hold back the surprised look that overwhelmed his face. He was pretty positive he had died and gone to heaven. How he had gotten into heaven and not hell after everything he had done in his mortal life was beyond him. But hearing those words... _watching_ those words fall from Negan's mouth... they couldn't be a reality. He had to have just fallen into one of his daydreams again. "Wh-What?" he managed to get out. 

Another grunt, followed by a short sniff. "Y'heard me." 

To say that Carl was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Of all the things he had expected from this conversation, _that_ was not one of them. "But you... you don't even know me," he stated, as if it was a viable excuse. 

"No, I don't," he agreed, and Carl faltered slightly. He was just about to say something when Negan continued. "I know that you're submissive, a bad ass, and give one of the best damn blow jobs I've ever had the pleasure of receivin'." He gave his famous smirk and Carl blushed again. No use in hiding his attraction anymore. "But you really think I'd offer that shit if I didn't _want_ to know you, Carl?" 

Well, _no_. He knew that whatever the man said, he meant it. Negan didn't seem like the type of guy to go back on what he said no matter how awful it may have been. "B-But you... you don't...." he stammered, trying to find the words for what he wanted to say. He practically pouted when they wouldn't come to mind and stared down at the table between them. "You don't do relationships," he said softly, voice nearly in a whisper. It sounded meek and pathetic and Carl wanted to curl into himself at how weak it sounded. 

Negan scoffed, rolling his eyes at the kid in front of him. "Yeah, not recently. Probably not in the time you've been around. But it ain't unheard of. I've been around a long time, kid. Goin' on thirty years in the community pretty soon here. You really think I woulda gotten this far on hook ups? C'mon, thought you were smarter than that." Carl knew he was right. Just like he had thought earlier, he wondered if Negan had had any real relationships or dynamics, but now he just felt stupid for not realizing that sooner. He ignored the jealousy that burned in his stomach over the idea of Negan having a dynamic or relationship with someone else. Negan wanted _him_ now, not them, he reminded himself. The jealousy turned to fluttering nervousness as he made eye contact with the leader. 

"Why me, though?" He didn't mean to make it sound so... well, self-deprecating, but that's just how it wound up coming out. 

"Still fishin' for compliments? Shit, haven't I given you enough reasons? Look," Negan stated with a sigh, reaching forward blindly across the table to grab Carl's hand that was resting on his thigh. His own hand felt cold compared to Negan's burning skin and Carl couldn't deny the sparks of electricity that flowed through his body at the simple contact. Sure, Negan had touched him before and it was great, but something was different this time. _They_ were different this time. "When I said you're a bad ass, what I meant is that you're strong. You know how god damn hard it is to find a strong submissive these days? Seems to me the newer generation thinks that bein' submissive means you roll over for anyone who so much as looks at ya." He sighed. "But you... you're fuckin' different, Carl. You get it. You know not to surrender to just anyone. You get that allllllll this shit we do is about trust. Took you over a week and a shitty piece of paper to get you to come home with me, and even then you _still_ didn't trust my ass - and I respect that shit. I may not know you very well, no, you're right about that. But what I do know is you're not gonna submit because you think it's the right thing to do. You're gonna submit because you _want_ to. And shit, nothin' gets my dick harder than that." 

Carl listened to his little speech, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. Negan was right, but it was interesting to hear it put in words for the first time. It was true - Carl wouldn't scene or fuck anyone he didn't trust. He wouldn't give up his control to just any person who told him he was pretty. Wouldn't let just anyone hurt him the way he craved to be. He learned better after Mark. He learned that submission was a gift to be given to someone you trusted, not something you just gave because you felt like it was what the other person wanted. 

Clearly the man took his silence as rejection, because very soon Negan was pulling his hand away from Carl's, huffing out a gruff, "Look, if you don't want it then just say so. Use your words, ki-"

"I want it," Carl cut him off quickly, hand clambering across the table to grab the other man's again. "I do, I _really_ do. I guess I'm just surprised. I... I didn't think you'd want me that way." 

"Truth be told, I didn't know I did either until I came here. Then it all just kinda clicked into place. Funny how that shit works out, huh?"

It made him feel a little bit better that Negan's speech and proposition wasn't premeditated. The impulsiveness of it should probably scare Carl a little bit but he couldn't find it in him to care right then. After all, just like he had thought earlier, Negan didn't say shit he didn't mean. "So... um... what now?"

"Well not to be a buzz kill, but I think now you gotta go back to work. Your co-workers been shootin' me death glares for the last ten minutes," he said with a laugh. Carl nodded solemnly, moving to pull his hand away from Negan's but the man just gripped his hand tighter. "Hey, what time are you off?"

Carl checked the clock on the wall. "An hour," he replied before biting his lip. 

Negan flashed him an award winning smile, one that made Carl's knees a little weak. He was still trying to process the fact that this man had offered to try out a dynamic with him. He only hoped he didn't come across too eager. "Alrighty then. I'll wait," he stated, repeating his words from their first encounter as he released Carl's hand.

Carl nodded as he slid to stand, matching Negan's smile with a shy one of his own. "Alright," he echoed before turning to walk away, perhaps a little bit of a pep in his step. He frowned, however, when he made it to the counter and pulled on his apron. 

Kitten was going to kill him for not keeping her more updated. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with feeling like I was rushing things because I didn't want it to seem unrealistic that Negan asked Carl to join a dynamic with him that quick. But then I remembered from my own experience that I've been asked to join a dynamic over coffee after only knowing someone for a week, so it's not entirely unheard of. When you know what you want it's kind of easy to just jump into something headfirst and sometimes it's even easier that way. Next chapter Carl will go into why he feels like it's not weird.
> 
> As always, shoot me a message at cxgan on tumblr if you have any questions!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are discussed and our boys get to know one another a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments and kudos. They seriously mean the world to me. Even just a short 'I love it!' comment it makes my entire day and makes writing this shit so worth it. 
> 
> Sorry it took me a minute to upload this. Work has been killing me. I'm like 1/4th of the way done with chapter six so it probably wont be posted until the weekend but it's going to be a longer one because it's got Carl and Negan's first scene together (finally, right?).
> 
> Once again, read all my struggles at the end.

 They spent hours after Carl got off work walking around campus and talking. It was nice, Carl mused, just talking to the man about anything and everything. They barely even talked about kink. Sure, they went over what Carl's limits were (things he wouldn't do under any circumstance), what Negan's limits were, they discussed how Carl had first joined the community and his friendship with Kitten. He wanted to ask Negan about his own introduction to the community but the man seemed more focused on getting to know Carl and hey, he wasn't going to argue with that. After being in a relationship that was _never_ about him he kind of enjoyed the attention. 

It warmed his heart a little, though, that Negan didn't seem exceptionally focused on kink at that time. He wanted to get to know _Carl the person_ not _Carl the submissive_. It reminded him that Negan hadn't agreed to be in just a dynamic with him, but a _relationship_ with him as well. He knew that outside of the kink community and high school that wasn't really how relationships worked - usually there was dating and flirting and running circles around each other until you just admitted you were in a relationship. The kink community was different, though. Yeah, sometimes there were still those types of relationships, but it wasn't uncommon to find a couple who had only known each other for a short period of time before they asked one another to be their significant other. Hell, he'd known Mark for two weeks before the man asked Carl to be in a relationship and dynamic with him. _Maybe that was part of the problem_ , he mused bitterly for only a brief second. No, looking up at Negan he knew that that wasn't the case. Negan wasn't Mark. And plus, he knew plenty of people who moved fast in setting up their relationship and/or dynamic and it had turned out well for them. Moving fast could be beneficial, and it was one of the perks of knowing exactly what you wanted out of what you were searching for. 

He did, however, find out several things about Negan outside of the kinky realm. For one he found out why exactly Negan had been on campus - he was one of the coaches for the football and baseball teams in alternating seasons. Carl had asked him why he'd never come in the coffee shop before if he'd worked there for so long and Negan had shrugged and said that week his coffee maker had broken and he hadn't had time to buy a new one yet. He claimed he bought one right after Carl's outburst that day because he was worried the boy would go off on him if he showed his face again. Carl had laughed at that. The fact that _Negan_ had been afraid he was going to get chewed out again by Carl was just humorous. 

Carl told him about his family; about his dad, step mom and little sister back in King County. Negan had laughed at him when he mentioned where he had grown up ( _"King County? Seriously? That backwater town? Shit, kid, no wonder you ran headfirst into the kink community's fucked up arms."_ ). Carl just smirked and shoved at the older man's arm playfully. He explained how while he loved his family very much, going away to college was the best thing for Carl in the end. It gave him the opportunity to grow and gain independence instead of having an overprotective dad breathing down his neck every day. They were only a two hour drive away though and he knew he was always welcome there, so it wasn't like he was moving across the country to get away from them. 

The boy also told him about more serious topics. He told him about his mom dying during child birth when he was younger and how it had really fucked him up for awhile. Negan had nodded along to indicate he was listening but didn't have much to say on the topic, which Carl kind of appreciated. It got old hearing people preach on about what he should or shouldn't have done to grieve when he was younger. 

He told him all about Mark as well. He explained how the beginning of the relationship wasn't so bad - the man had respected Carl's limits and boundaries, and had actually given him aftercare. He explained how after a certain point, though, it was almost like Mark got sick with power - he hurt Carl in ways he never wanted to be both mentally and physically. He ignored his safe word, tossed him to the side when he was done with him and eventually gave up aftercare altogether. He watched Negan's jaw clench angrily at the words that fell from his lips but once again the the older man didn't say anything and for that Carl was grateful. The only word he did offer was a simple, "Good." when Carl had mentioned that he had gotten him banned from all future events. 

The entire time they walked Carl was painfully aware of just how close the man was to him. They walked side by side, arms brushing against each other occasionally but neither of them initiating any further contact than that. Carl would probably feel ridiculous and might even get rejected if he grabbed the man's hand so he put that fire out in his mind before it had the chance to grow into something bigger. Instead, Carl focused on the way the man seemed to almost lumber over him and softened at their height difference. On the way Negan scratched at his chin when he was struggling to find the words for something. How he smiled - genuinely, even - at the dumb jokes and snide remarks Carl made at him. That god damn smile was going to be the death of him, he was almost positive. 

Carl pulled out his phone to check the time and realized it was nearing 9pm. They'd been walking around campus for close to three hours and as much as he wanted to stay and continue talking with the man, he did need to get some homework done before bed for a class he had in the morning. He sighed as he came to a stop, Negan halting his own steps beside him. "I... I should start heading back to my place. I have some homework I need to work on before bed." 

"So _responsible_ ," he got teasingly in return. Carl laughed awkwardly, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck. It did border on nerdy just how much he cared about his studies, but the way Carl saw it was he didn't want to waste a dime of the money his grandparents had left him to go to college with. "Relax, kid, I'm just fuckin' with you." Negan nudged his shoulder playfully. He was going to have to get used to Negan fucking with him a lot, it seemed. The thought made his belly tingle. "You live alone?" Negan's voice broke him out of visions of just _how_ the man was going to be fucking with him and he cleared his throat. 

"Uh, no. I wish. I live with two other guys in a three bedroom apartment. They're cool. Not kinky, though. But they know I'm gay and they don't have a problem with that so that makes them pretty cool in my book." Negan nodded along with the boy's words to indicate he was listening. Truth be told while the LGBT community was on a rise especially after gay marriage became legal, it was still sometimes hard to find accepting people in Georgia. They were a southern state, after all. Negan seemed to understand that and Carl wanted to ask him if he'd ever struggled with his own sexuality but stopped himself. That was a conversation for another day. They were out of time, anyway. 

"You have a car? Or do you want a ride home?"

"I have a car but I don't use it. I use the free bus pass that comes with being a student 'cause I hate paying for gas," he admitted. Plus, if he drove his car to campus every day he'd have to pay for a parking pass and then pray that parking was available and it all just sounded like too big of a hassle. "I... I don't want to impose. I can take the bus, really, it's not that big of a dea-"

"Carl," Negan interrupted him. "I'm givin' you a fuckin' ride. You really think I'm gonna let you go home on some seedy ass bus when I have a fully functional vehicle to take you in? If you're gonna be my... _whatever_ , then you're gonna learn to let me do shit for you." His _whatever_? That was the best he could come up with? What about partner? Boyfriend? Submissive? _Anything_? Was Negan as nervous about the beginning of this relationship as he was? It seemed almost silly to Carl that someone like him could actually get nervous over a new relationship or dynamic, but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. Negan hadn't been in a relationship in _years_ and yet here he was. Trying. For Carl. He smiled softly at the thought. Negan really was completely different than he'd originally imagined him to be. He was _human_.

"Okay," he relented and Negan visibly sighed with relief of some sort. The walk back across campus to Negan's car was silent, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. They both seemed to be processing everything they had talked about that day, everything that had come to light in the last five hours. Carl brushed his shoulder against the larger man's upper arm probably a few too many times to be deemed accidental, but if Negan noticed it he didn't say anything. Soon enough they got to the man's car and Carl slipped into the passenger side when it was unlocked, buckling his seat belt. Negan got in as well and gave him a look before turning the car on and pulling out. 

Once again they sat in the quiet other than Carl's occasional 'turn right' or 'left up here'. They didn't even listen to the radio and Carl was starting to feel like Negan wanted to say something but didn't know how. Finally, after what felt like a damn eternity, the other man spoke. "Look, Carl, I know startin' new shit can be freaky as fuck. You don't know me, I don't know you. Well, I know you a little better than I did when I woke up but you get my point." He sighed. "I know I have a... reputation," he admitted, frowning. Carl didn't take his eyes off of the man's face and Negan didn't take his eyes off the road. "But shit is different when I'm in a dynamic and a... uh..."

"Relationship," Carl provided for him. He could tell the man was having a hard time with the word.

"That, yeah. I'm just sayin' shit is different than what you might have heard from people I've hooked up with. I have a reputation, yeah, and that's somethin' I wanna maintain, so the best way of doin' that is to act a certain way when I'm hookin' up with someone. I'm not sayin' that I've ever done somethin' against somebody's will - that shit's despicable - but it's obvious that people have pushed past their limits with me just 'cause they wanted to impress me," he finished with a sigh. "Maybe it was an abuse of power, like you said that first time we met. Maybe I got a sort a... penchant for pickin' up the fresh ones 'cause they got that look'a worship in their eyes and I get off to it. I'm not sayin' its right, but you gotta believe me when I say I've never done somethin' they didn't want. You do believe me, right?" Why was Negan prattling on about this? Why was he confessing all of this to Carl? Carl had already accepted all of this about the man. He practically screamed it in his face that day in the coffee shop and yet here he was, entering a dynamic and a relationship with him. Negan had to know he was clearly okay with all of that now, didn't he?

Suddenly Carl remembered he'd been asked a question. "Yes," he said with a quick nod. "I believe you." No one in the community had ever said anything bad about Negan when it came to consent. They said he was harsh, sure, but not that he'd ever gone against anybody's will. 

"I'm tellin' you this shit because I'm trynna be open with you about what you might'a heard," the man said, reading Carl's previous thoughts. "I wanna try this, I do, 'cause I think you're fuckin' worth it and it's been a long time since I've found someone that I thought was worth the trouble." Carl blushed again and looked down for a mere second. "But if at any point in this whole thing you wanna call it quits, you gotta tell me. I don't want you just doin' shit because you want to impress me or because you're worried I'm gonna have you kicked outta the Clubhouse or whatever. If we're really about to do this shit for real then you gotta be open with me about everything. 'Cause behind the leather, the title, the dominance, the swelterin' good looks - " Carl rolled his eyes. Of _course_ he'd throw that in there. " - I'm just a man, Carl. And I fuck up sometimes just like everyone else. I ain't gonna get mad at ya for tellin' me I did somethin' wrong. If I do get mad, you have my express permission to punch me right in the fuckin' schnoz. And if you don't want to be with me anymore then you tell me that too and I won't hold it against you." Why was this conversation so unbearably _Negan_ aside from the fact it was coming from the man's mouth? Here they were, fresh (very fresh) into this entire ordeal and Negan was already practically trying to convince Carl to end it right now. At least that's what it felt like. 

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Negan was actually being vulnerable with him. Sure, he was doing it in his own weird little way, but nonetheless the sentiment was there. He was reassuring Carl that through everything, he had a choice. That regardless of what might happen between them Carl wasn't going to be trapped. Mark had never made Carl feel that way. He made him feel suffocated, made him feel like if he brought up anything the man was doing badly or tried to leave him that things would just get uglier. He brainwashed Carl into thinking he didn't have a choice. "Okay," he finally spoke, though his voice was quiet. He cleared his throat and gained a little bit more confidence. "You'll tell me too, right? If you don't want to keep going. If I'm not good enough for you..." the last part was said a little more quietly than he intended, but nonetheless the words were there.

"I'm not worried about that part. You're strong, Carl. That's good enough for me." Carl was taken back by the sudden declaration and had to blink at the man a few times to be sure he heard him correctly. It was... a lot to live up to, really, and Carl was a little irritated that Negan had put that on his shoulders. What if he disappointed him? What if he wasn't the strong person Negan claimed him to be? Well, he supposed there was only one way to find out... "But yeah, 'course I'll tell ya how I'm feelin'. That's how this shit works. Communication is the key - 'least that's what Mulligan always said. My last relationship coulda used a little more of it. Ah, well, we learn from our mistakes." Carl wanted to push both of those subjects - Grandmaster Mulligan and Negan's previous relationship - but he held his tongue. There would be other opportunities for Carl to ask all the questions he wanted. He just had to be patient. But nonetheless, he agreed with the older male's words. Countless times he had been told by several members of the community that communication was the key to a long lasting relationship or dynamic. It seemed like common sense, really, but when it came down to it it was so easy to forget. It's why so many relationships - both in and out of the community - failed miserably. 

"Right. Communication," Carl said with a quick nod. He signaled for the man to pull into his apartment complex and couldn't hold back the feeling of sadness that welled in his gut. He didn't want to stop talking to Negan, but he knew he had no choice. 

Negan parked where Carl told him to and turned in his seat to look at the boy. "Now, a few more things before I let ya go." Carl perked up at the chance to spend just a few more minutes with the man. "I figure you want just a regular old D/s dynamic - " Carl nodded. " - which is fine and I can do that. But by nature I'm a Master, and that's how I was trained. All that means is you might see some shit that isn't necessarily how most Dominants do it. Are you lookin' for more of a 24/7 sorta deal or more of a just-in-the-bedroom-during-scenes-and-at-parties kinda thing?"

So _now_ he wanted to talk about kink. When they were seconds from the night being over. How fucking convenient. Carl pursed his lips at the question, thinking about it for a long moment. His relationship with Mark was never clear on if it was 24/7 or just when they were alone or at events. Sometimes he acted like his Dom when they were in public, sometimes he didn't. The more he thought about it the more he realized that Mark hadn't played his role very well at all. Ever. It shouldn't have been so surprising to Carl. "I think... I think I wanna try 24/7," he decided with a final nod. "If it doesn't work then we can talk about it." 

"Now you're catchin' on - that's the shit I like to hear." Carl resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. Negan grinned at him, though, and he couldn't help but give him a small smile back. "Another thing - I'm fuckin' old fashioned. I'm a sucker for collars and all that good shit. You gonna be okay with that, or...?"

Carl scoffed at the older male. "Collars aren't old fashioned, Negan. They're actually pretty common. But yeah, I'm okay with them." He liked the idea of wearing a collar a little more than he had let on. Mark had only given him one collar the entire time they were together - it was an awful secondhand posture collar that made his neck and jaw ache, but Carl had loved every second of it regardless. There was something about having something wrapped around your neck to remind you that you were owned that made the boy tingle all over. 

"I don't mean collars in general, smart ass. I mean how they're used. When's the last time you met someone in your generation that knew the difference between a consideration collar, a trainin' collar and an ownership collar? Huh?" Well, Carl knew the difference but that was because he was a slut for kink knowledge. But the man was right nonetheless. Most people his age skipped right past everything and went straight for the ownership collar, which was kind of a big deal. Negan practically beamed. "Alright, I'll get one picked out for ya for consideration."

"How long is your consideration period?"

" _Our_ consideration period," Negan corrected him. "Just 'cause I ain't the one wearin' the thing doesn't mean you ain't considerin' me too. And it just depends on how we work out," he finished with a shrug and Carl nodded. He was _so_ looking forward to seeing how they would work out. 

"Anything else?" he asked, hoping that the man had more. 

Negan grunted with a short nod of his own. "I want you to text me a list of shit you're into so I can come up with a scene and we can discuss it. How does doin' it this weekend sound?"

Carl swallowed thickly at the prospect of scening with Negan. This was really happening. They were going to scene together and not only that, when they were done it wasn't going to end. This wasn't just another hook up or one off thing at a party. Negan was going to _own_ him. Carl just hoped that everything worked out. It was only human to think that way, after all. Everyone wanted their relationship and/or dynamic to work out regardless if you were in the community or not. "Sounds good," he said eagerly, giving the man a warm smile. Negan gave him one of his own. 

He had to admit he was a little nervous to give the man a list of what he was into - what if Negan was weirded out or repulsed by what he liked? No, he wouldn't be weirded out. Carl's kinks weren't _that_ out there and he doubted Negan would judge him for anything anyway. In all reality Carl hadn't experienced very much and he was hoping that he could learn more from the man. He was almost positive he would. He swallowed and nodded before unbuckling his seat belt, putting his hand on door handle and moving to push it open. A hand on his thigh stopped him, however, and he turned in his seat to look at the man before he opened the door.

"Thanks for tellin' me all that shit earlier - 'bout your mom and that asshole ex boyfriend'a yours. And everything else. I'm... um..." He scratched at his chin and Carl bit his lip in anticipation. "Never mind." He shook his head, looking a little exasperated. Carl could tell that Negan wasn't used to dealing with raw emotions - that was fine. They could work on that together. He put his hand on top of the one on his thigh and squeezed it reassuringly. Negan looked at him for a long moment - or rather looked like he was looking _through_ him - before he finally spoke again. "Can I, uh, can I kiss you, Carl?" 

Carl suddenly forgot how to breathe. His vision immediately shifted to Negan's lips and he licked his own hungrily at the thought of that mouth on his.  For once in his life he damned the fact that everything in the community was about consent. He didn't want Negan to _ask_ him if he could kiss him he just wanted him to _do it_. But he understood the reason behind the man asking him and he appreciated it regardless. He wanted to make sure that Carl was comfortable. The memory of the man almost kissing him that night in his living room came to his mind and he furrowed his eyebrows before looking up at him again. Remembering to breathe, he finally spoke. "I thought you didn't kiss," he said quietly. 

Negan scoffed at him and gave him an incredulously look. "I don't kiss hook ups, nah. Shit's too intimate for what they're gettin' from me. But, what, did you already forget we're not goin' for _just_ a hook up or _just_ a dynamic here?" The older man cocked an eyebrow at Carl and he flushed. He didn't think he was ever going to get used to the fact that he was now (by words at least) in an actual relationship with the other man. Not even just a dynamic. He still didn't know what he was supposed to call the other man - boyfriend seemed a little childish, and partner seemed a little too serious... manfriend? manfriend sounded good - but he supposed he'd figure that out in time. They were still in day one after all. Carl kicked himself for his stupid question. 

"I didn't forget," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Just... I guess... it's kinda hard to fully believe. This morning when I woke up I told myself I wasn't gonna see you for a month and that'd give me time to get over you... and now here we are. Seems a little funny how it all worked out." Negan cocked an amused eyebrow at him and Carl laughed a little awkwardly, picking absentmindedly at a loose thread on his jeans. "You just don't seem like the relationship kinda guy," he admitted. 

"I haven't been in the last five years," Negan confessed in return. "Like I told ya before, there hasn't been anyone worth it." And  _Carl_ was worth it? It just all seemed a little unrealistic, but the boy would take it. If he asked the man to tell him why again he'd just get told he was fishing for compliments so he kept his mouth shut. "Now damn, kid, answer the question. What's up with you and avoidin' the topic?"

Carl smirked at the other man. It was true; he was good at that. He'd always been told by his parents growing up that he could get out of almost anything with his pure powers of deflection. "Please?" he asked softly, giving the man his best doe eyes. That definitely wasn't the response that Negan was expecting because his eyebrows raised expressively and Carl watched him squirm in his seat a little. 

"Please what?" came Negan's husky drawl as he reached up with his right hand to cup Carl's face, his rough thumb scraping against the boy's lower lip. Carl's tongue swiped out from behind said lips at first just to wet them, but the tip of his tongue slid gingerly across the digit and jesus christ Carl almost wanted to suck on the man's finger more than he wanted to kiss him. Almost. 

"Please kiss me?" _Daddy_ , he added mentally. Maybe Negan was into that but he still didn't know so he'd keep his mouth shut for now. Hunger flashed in Negan's eyes and Carl was absolutely captivated by it as he leaned in. He wanted to keep his eyes open but couldn't any longer as hot and slightly chapped flesh was pressed up against his mouth. The kiss was damn near electrifying and the boy found himself getting lost in it almost immediately upon contact. It was chaste at first - slow and methodical - and while it was nice, Carl wanted _more_. 

Almost like Negan read his mind, he opened his mouth at the same time the older male did - tongues passing teeth and sliding against one another like puzzle pieces. Everything about the action was intoxicating - the taste of the man on his tongue (smooth and mild like the cigars he knew the man smoked, bitter like the coffee he'd drank earlier, and an underlying sweetness that burned through the boy - almost like cinnamon), the hand cupping his cheek stroking circles into his flesh with a calloused thumb, the scratch of the older man's facial hair against his chin. Carl could forget himself in something like this. He kissed him back eagerly - god, how long had it been since he'd kissed someone? - and blushed when he found himself moaning into it. That seemed to just egg the other man on even more though as the kiss became more rough - almost greedy. Negan's other hand came up to hold onto the boy's face harshly as the opposite snaked into his hair, but Carl didn't mind. He also didn't mind when the man started using his teeth - yanking the student's bottom lip between those pearly whites and fuck, Carl wanted him to bite him until he bled just so he could stain them. But maybe that was taking things a little bit too far for a first kiss. 

Negan growled hungrily before his teeth clamped over both of the boy's lips this time, and Carl outright whined before they were pushed open again and the older man's tongue surged into his mouth once more. They kissed like that for what Carl could only assume was at least a good five to ten minutes until finally (much to Carl's dismay) the coach pulled back, pressing his forehead into Carl's but keeping his grip on the boy's hair. They were both panting. Carl's eyes fluttered open to meet Negan's smug grin, and he mused that the man had every right to look smug. Carl probably looked like he'd just been fucked - swollen red lips and cheeks flushed, hair most likely a mess by now. "To be continued," Negan husked out, thumb brushing over Carl's bottom lip again. 

"Yeah," Carl rasped back, barely trusting his voice. He didn't want to go now... he wanted to stay and kiss the man some more. But he knew deep down that he had homework and  _responsibility_ and all of that stupid stuff. Couldn't forget about that just because he had a Dominant now. 

"Now get the fuck outta my car and go do your homework before I bend you over the back seat." The word's weren't said very lustfully and with a frown which made Carl laugh softly, shaking his head as Negan extracted his hands from the boy. Carl bit his bottom lip as he put his hand on the door handle again, and before he could change his mind he dared to lean across the seat and peck the man on the lips just one more time. He heard Negan grunt in surprise right before he pushed the door open. 

"See ya," he trilled before slipping out of the door and shutting it behind him. He had to get out of there before they both did something they regretted. Well. They probably wouldn't regret it, but that wasn't the point. 

The walk back to his apartment was awkward because of the half-chub he was sporting in his jeans. It really had been too long since he'd been kissed. He wasn't even 50 yards from the car when his phone went off in his pocket and he pulled it out hastily. **_'I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.'_ ** It was from a number he didn't have saved to his contacts yet, but he didn't need to ask who it was to know it had come from the man he'd just left in the parking lot. He assumed that was what Negan had been having a hard time saying earlier. It was always easier to say shit through text because you didn't have to face the person's reaction. The sentence was, well, sweet. Sweeter than he'd ever thought the older man capable of. His phone buzzed again and he looked down. **_'Also looking forward to wrecking that ass.'_** Annnd there was the Negan he knew. The man had to have a comeback of _some_ type. Carl quickly typed his response, excitement thrumming in his veins,

_**'Me too.'** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled this chapter with having Negan being... well... soft. But the thing is, in this story Negan has to be raw and vulnerable with Carl so that Carl knows what he's getting into. And not only that, he needs to be incredibly healthy for Carl because after all the shit he went through with Mark he needs someone to take care of him. So yeah, Negan might have some more softer edges in this fic but I hope that doesn't turn you off to it. I personally am kind of a sucker for soft!Negan at times.
> 
> Fingers crossed that I finish the next chapter by the end of the week. I'm trying to get as much of it done as I can but stupid work gets in the way of things. Why can't I just get paid to write my fic instead?
> 
> As always, any questions or comments feel free to message me at cxgan on tumblr!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kitten is adorable, things are discussed and our boys share their first scene together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I FINALLY DID IT. Listen, you have no idea how much hell this chapter gave me. A week and ~12k words later, here it is. I'm still not entirely pleased with how the scene turned out but after editing it for the third (and fourth, and fifth, and sixth...) time I finally gave up and just decided to throw it out there. So I'm sorry if you don't like it or it isn't what you were expecting but I tried, damnit. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments and feedback on what you've read so far. They seriously just mean the world to me and keep me pushing on. I get so tickled reading what you guys think of my writing. Y'all are the Kitten to my Carl.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Triggers for this chapter: flogging, belting, welts, bruises, hair pulling.
> 
> [EDIT: CHAPTER NOW WITH FANART! Thank you so much to nasty-grimes on tumblr for creating this beauty for me: https://nasty-grimes.tumblr.com/post/177502282606/carl-from-cxgan-s-fic-nicotine-i-still-have-to I honestly cannot thank you enough.]

 Carl felt like a thoroughly scolded child.

He thought he would be nice on Tuesday, show up at Kitten's place with stuff for dinner, accompanied by an apology and an explanation. She let him talk at first, sat across from him at the kitchen table as he rambled on about what happened at Negan's place on Friday night. She had a concerned look on her face as he went on about how he holed himself up in his room for two days and how he vowed to stay away from the community for a month to get over Negan. It wasn't like he had cut her off entirely - he'd texted her here and there letting her know he was still alive. He even told her on Monday that he had some big news to tell her. Her eyes practically bugged out of her head when he told her about Negan offering to try a relationship and dynamic with him and he couldn't resist outright grinning at her reaction. It was still hard for him to believe too. 

But what he _hadn't_ expected was when he was done talking, she decided it was _her_ turn and just... ripped into him. She yelled at him that while yes, she was very happy for him and he deserved as good of a Dominant as Negan was, but that he couldn't just leave her out of the loop like that for days at a time. As much as it irritated him to get screamed at about the same thing for almost twenty minutes he also understood where she was coming from. Carl and Kitten had been basically inseparable since the boy had broken up with Mark all that time ago. It was rare he went so many days without telling her explicitly what was going on and he felt bad. 

The only reprieve he got from her insistent yelling as she paced back and forth in the kitchen was Negan texting him. Thankfully she didn't seem to notice he was paying more attention to his phone. Praise the lord he didn't believe in for learning how to text without looking.

_**'Save me, Kitten is screaming her head off at me for not keeping her in the loop for three days,'** _ he'd texted the man. ** _'She just cares about you. Maybe don't do that next time,'_ ** Negan responded. _**'Look at you, Mr. Insightful.' 'Someone's gotta be.'**_

"And _another_ thing!" his best friend bellowed and he sighed audibly as she went off again. 

**_'Distract me,'_** Carl texted. ** _'What're you wearing right now?'_ ** came the reply not a minute later. ** _'Shut up.' 'Okay, okay. Safe word?' 'Color system. Yellow if I need you to slow down, red to stop everything.' 'Gotcha. Always love a classic.'_**

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Kitten snapped and he looked up from his phone sheepishly. He exhaled and set it on the table, ignoring the urge to check it when it vibrated again. 

"Yes, I heard you. I get it, okay? I fucked up. I shouldn't have kept you out of the loop. I said I was sorry. Everything just happened so fast and I didn't even have time to think about it let alone text you." He knew it was a piss poor excuse but it was true regardless. Everything had happened really quickly and Carl had barely had time to blink before he was suddenly in a relationship and dynamic with one of the greatest Dominants in the community. His stomach flipped a little at that thought. 

Kitten sighed and moved to sit down across from him again. "I just worry so much about you, y'know? After Mark..." He shot her a look that screamed ' _don't_ ,' and she moved on from the topic. "It freaked me out that you weren't telling me what was going on because you've never done that before. I thought I lost you..." Her words sounded so familiar that Negan's flashed in his mind: _'I thought I scared you...'_

Carl reached across the table and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "You're never gonna to lose me. I promise. It was just a rough few days and I didn't know how to process everything enough to tell you. I'm sorry I worried you. I won't do it again." Kitten looked down at their hands and swallowed hard. 

"You're my best friend, Carl," she said softly without making eye contact. It was far from the first time that she'd told the boy he was her best friend, but there was a deeper meaning behind her words right then. The unspoken, _'you mean the world to me,'_ hung between them like a warm, encompassing hug. 

Carl gave her his softest smile and squeezed her hand again. "You're mine too." He really didn't know what he would do without Kitten. She'd become so important to him in the last almost two years. He would probably still be suffering through a relationship with Mark if he didn't have her. Well, or _worse_. He winced inwardly at that thought. 

"Now tell me," she started, breaking him from his thoughts as he looked up at her. "Is his dick really as big as they say it is?"

Carl couldn't help but laugh loudly. "Of _course_ you would want to know that."

"Well  _duh_!"

It was nice that nothing really changed between them. 

**××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××**

The week did not go by fast enough.

After Carl sent his list of kinks to Negan on Tuesday night with the help of Kitten (he included his daddy kink only because she insisted he include it, but it was worth it in the end because that was on Negan's list when he sent Carl one back) a nervous uneasiness welled up in his belly. It wasn't entirely an unpleasant feeling. More akin to butterflies, he could say. 

Negan had met up with him on Wednesday night when Carl was done with work, and they spent more time talking and getting to know one another before the older male got down to business and brought a few kink-related items to the discussion. The first was that they decided their dynamic wouldn't officially begin until Saturday night. Their first scene together would be the declaration of sorts. It would give Carl time to think about if he really wanted to go through with it, Negan had said. He almost rolled his eyes at the man for that statement. There was no way he would back out of this now, but he supposed that he appreciated the concern. 

Negan said that on Saturday his consideration collar would be ready and presented to him. He was apparently having it made by a good friend of his and it would be discreet enough he could wear it as a day collar if he so chose (which yeah, he definitely would). The thought had made Carl squirm excitedly in his seat to the point the older male had given him an amused look. 

He also asked Carl if he was comfortable with established rules and the boy had nodded probably a little too eagerly. It would only make sense for him to have rules if they were going to be doing a 24/7 type of dynamic. He didn't see how it could work a different way, but hey, maybe that was just something he didn't understand. Negan told him he already had a few rules in mind but he'd text Carl throughout the week with suggestions and the boy would tell him yes or no. The first rule he suggested right then was regarding titles and Carl had immediately agreed. Therefore, his first rule was he was to only refer to Negan as Sir or Daddy (and when that fucking word fell from the other man's lips he damn near whimpered. Mark had never let him call him that, and he was honestly glad he hadn't. That was reserved for Negan now.). The only time Carl was allowed to refer to Negan by his name was if he was in distress or needed his express attention regarding something important. It wasn't necessarily a safe word but more of a signal. This didn't apply in vanilla situations obviously. This rule of course wouldn't be set in stone until Saturday as well. None of them would be.

Then the conversation turned to their actual scene on Saturday. They negotiated back and forth for a solid thirty minutes and by the end of it Carl was practically vibrating with excitement for the weekend. Negan had suggested things and listened to Carl when he said yes or no and why, and while Carl had negotiated with people a bunch of times before it just felt different with the older man. He felt so secure and safe and he knew nothing was going to happen that he didn't previously agree upon. 

Negan had kissed the god damn breath out of him once more before he dropped him off that night and yet again Carl got a text when he wasn't more than 50 yards from the car that read,  ** _'Forgot how good kissing feels. You taste so fucking good.'_**  Carl was just glad the man couldn't see him blush. He was typing out a hasty **_'you too'_ ** when his phone had gone off again. _ **'Bet that ass tastes just as good.'** _ And dear god Carl probably looked like a damn tomato by the time he stepped into his apartment. He'd jerked off twice over daydreams of what was going to happen on Saturday before he was finally able to fall asleep. 

The next day (Thursday) Carl didn't see Negan in the evening and it made him a little sad but because he didn't have a shift that day he was able to catch up on a bunch of school work he needed to get done before the weekend. He wanted to make sure that he would have all of Saturday and Sunday free to dedicate to the beginning of their dynamic. Negan had, however, texted him all day regardless and that made it better.

One thing he told Carl was that while he was giving the boy rules he wasn't going to write up a contract until they moved beyond the consideration phase. Carl understood that and had agreed that it seemed silly to write up a contract before they figured out if they worked together or not. Negan informed him that the rules he gave him were just testers to see what worked and didn't work for them and that he was starting with a small list so they could ease into it.

He then asked Carl about a few new rules and a few of them the boy was happy with but a few he said no to with an explanation. By the end of the day he'd acquired several new ones:  
**1.)** No touching himself without permission.  
**2.)** No cumming without permission.  
**3.)** Pictures and/or videos on demand of whatever Negan wanted.  
**4.)** At least one negotiated scene a week. 

They were simple enough that they worked perfectly for Carl. There were a few expectations Negan set for him as well. He said he could easily make them into rules but for now they would go on trust. Carl was always to use his safe word if he needed to without fear, he would communicate as much as possible, would always be honest with himself and with Negan and would maintain proper hygiene. Carl thought it was a little silly to include that last one but understood regardless.  

That night Carl took advantage of not having his rules apply yet and jerked off another two times before bed.

Friday rolled around and Negan told him in the morning he probably wouldn't see Carl until Saturday because he had a _"bunch of shit to catch up on before a weekend of peace"_ and the boy took the opportunity to work on more homework after class and his shift at the coffee shop. Negan still texted him, of course, and he brought one more rule into play:  
Carl was to accept punishment for breaking any rules or thwarting/not completing a task given to him. 

He swallowed hard after he finished reading the text. He knew rules came with punishments if they weren't followed but he was still nervous about it. Mark seemed to turn everything into a punishment even if Carl did it correctly the first time. But _Negan wasn't Mark_ , he reminded himself yet again.

He'd typed out a hurried, ' ** _Okay_**.' before the man could read into his hesitancy but clearly he wasn't fast enough because in what felt like seconds Negan's name was flashing across his screen in the form of a phone call. Carl frowned. He'd never _called_ him before. He answered after a few rings nonetheless. 

"Hello?"

"Tell me what you're thinkin'. Is punishment too much?" The sound of the man's voice quelled the uneasiness in his belly almost immediately. 

"No, no it's okay, really. It'd be dumb to have rules without consequences." He bit his lip. "But can we... um... talk about it?"

"'Course we can. That's the whole point behind this shit." The sound of shuffling papers on the other end of the line distracted him for a minute and Carl almost felt guilty for disrupting whatever the man had been working on. Well, to be fair Negan had called _him_. "Start with this: what's _not_ gonna work as a punishment?"

"No... um... No ignoring me. Like, pretending I don't exist as a punishment. Mark used to do that a lot..." 

He could have sworn he heard the other man mutter a soft " _fuckin' piece of shit,_ " which made him smile softly. "What else?"

"No chores as punishment. It's fine if it's a task but don't make me scrub the toilet with a toothbrush for like 5 hours straight." Negan chuckled in amusement but the sad part was that was a reality for Carl less than a year ago. "I think that's it," he added on.

"Alright, alright. I'm gonna throw out a couple punishments and you can tell me how you feel 'bout 'em. What about eye contact restrictions? Can't look me in the eye for a certain period of time."

"That's fine," he responded quietly. It _would_ be a punishment for the boy. Those fucking eyes...

"Cold shower?" 

Carl shivered. "Okay..."

"Takin' away shit you like for awhile?"

_Like being grounded,_ he mused to himself. "Yeah, alright."

"Standin' in the corner doin' nothin'? Lines?"

"Yes and yes." Either would be boring but it would be fine. 

"I think that's good enough for now. If I need more we'll talk about it again. But hopefully I won't." Suddenly the man's tone lowered a few octaves and it had the boy practically shivering when the words dripped from his mouth with: "'Cause you're gonna be a good boy for me, ain't ya?"

Carl nodded eagerly but remembered the man couldn't see him after he did. "Y-Yes," he damn near gasped out. Negan huffed out a dark, amused laugh. 

"Good. Now I gotta get back to this shit, but I'll see you tomorrow. Six sharp. You sure you don't need a ride?"

"I'm sure." He was having Kitten drop him off rather than driving himself or taking the bus. She hadn't seemed to mind when he had asked her. "See you tomorrow."

"Night."

"Goodnight."

_Click_. 

**××××××××××××××××××**

Saturday morning was spent at Kitten's apartment. Carl had been mildly amused by the dark haired man that stumbled sleepily out of the front door just as he got there and he'd cocked an eyebrow at Kitten who just shrugged and stepped aside to let him in. 

They made a full, hearty breakfast together consisting of some sausage Carl had brought with him, eggs, pancakes and orange juice. They typically had breakfast together on Saturday mornings after parties when Carl would undoubtedly spend the night before but seeing as they didn't get to the previous weekend they'd made plans for then. 

They cooked in silence other than the music Kitten had playing through the space, and when they sat down to eat Carl told her all about everything he and Negan had planned for that night. She was his best friend, after all. It wasn't like he was going to keep that from her and Negan hadn't told him to keep it private so why not? She seemed excited for him more than anything but also admitted she was a little jealous. Carl wished he knew enough good Dominants to hook her up with one. She deserved someone good as much if not more than he did.

The day seemed to tick by at a glacial pace. Every time Carl looked at the clock only five minutes had gone by. Eventually he suggested they watch a movie to pass the time but even that didn't distract him enough. They ordered take out for lunch and ate while they watched. By the time the movie was over it was time for Carl to get ready and he took his time in the bathroom. He cleaned himself out methodically, ignoring the fact he got hard just from the simple pressure of water against his prostate. He fingered himself for probably longer than was necessary but he wanted to be prepared. He waited for his hard on to go down before he took a nice long shower, lathered his entire body with soap and avoided touching himself longer than he should. He washed his hair twice for good measure as he wanted it to smell good before it would undoubtedly get soaked with sweat. 

By time he was done showering and getting dressed (he chose a simple black v-neck and jeans, figuring he wouldn't be wearing them long anyway) it was time to leave. "Ready, Mr. Use-All-My-Hot-Water?" 

Carl grinned. "Ready."

The drive was relatively quiet except for the radio, and Carl was pretty sure Kitten could read his thoughts because after a long moment she said softly, "You're going to have a lot of fun. Don't worry about it." And he gave her a small smile. He wasn't necessarily worried but he was nervous. He wanted to be good enough for Negan. 

As they neared the house his nerves just got worse. He noticed he was shaking and did his best to urge his body to stop. He sat on his hands and stared at the window until the Clubhouse and next door Negan's house came into view. Kitten parked in front of Negan's place and Carl turned in his seat to give her a hug. She held him there for a moment, reassuring him without words and he actually did feel better when she finally pulled back. He unbuckled his seatbelt, grabbed his backpack, gave her a short wave and managed to get out the door. 

The walk up to Negan's house was short but gave him time to settle himself, more excitement welling in his gut than anything else as he finally stepped up to the door and knocked a few times. Kitten drove off after she saw him knock and he was grateful she didn't stick around for a show. 

When Negan answered the door Carl cocked an eyebrow at his attire. He was in... a robe? A plain black robe that looked really soft and Carl found himself wanting to reach out and run his fingers across the fabric. He resisted, of course. But he also noticed that Negan was _definitely_ wearing pants underneath said robe so why was he wearing it to begin with? 

He didn't have time to think about it anymore as a strong hand wrapped around his upper arm and tugged him into the house. His chest collided a little awkwardly with the older man's and before he could even look up at him fully a warm mouth was pressed against his own. Carl sighed into the kiss, damn near melting in his arms. It'd only been a few days since he'd seen him and yet it felt like forever. He wanted to tell him he had missed him but decided not to. Negan finally pulled back and lead him further into the living room. He tilted Carl's chin up with two fingers and kissed him again, slow and languid and the boy was convinced if he went at this pace all night he would go crazy. The older man's mouth moved to Carl's jawline and traced sloppy kisses along it, facial hair scratching against Carl's skin as he moved to his ear. " _I'm gonna need your on your knees,_ " he murmured huskily into the boy's ear, the first words spoken that night. 

Carl shivered with a nod but complied nonetheless, dropping his backpack to his side and slowly sinking to his knees until he was settled on them in front of the other male. He looked up at him through his lashes and waited patiently to be told what to do next. Negan took a step back and pulled open the robe he was wearing and the sight Carl was met with made him bit his lip hurriedly. He was wasn't wearing a shirt but rather just a plain leather harness. It was about an inch and a quarter thick with studs lining the leather straps that crossed over his chest and met at his sternum where two thick metal rings lay. Carl didn't own a harness himself but always considered buying one. His eyes roamed over the other man hungrily as he took him in. Underneath said harness he was wearing a pair of plain black leather pants that highlighted the bulge in his groin a little too well. Turning, he pulled on his plain black leather Master's cap Carl had seen him wear so many times before followed by a pair of leather gloves and the entire sight of him like this made the student forget how to breathe for a second. 

Carl was staring at one thick leather clad thigh when the sound of something clinking got his attention. Carl swallowed in anticipation and looked up when he heard his name. "Carl." He was holding what Carl assumed would be his collar and jesus it was _beautiful_. It was red and black leather and was twisted so the colors alternated in a woven pattern. The leather ended with black and silver end caps and a small black padlock held it together.

Negan cleared his throat. "I've never been good at this ceremony and bestowin' shit, guess it was never somethin' I picked up on. But this is meant to be a symbol of my consideration of you and your consideration of me. You can choose if you wanna wear it day to day but when you're with me I expect it on. It's got two keys, one for you and one for me." Carl nodded. He was definitely wearing it day to day save for showering. "From here on out we're enterin'  what I guess you could call a trial period of a 24/7 D/s dynamic. You know your rules 'n expectations. Shit might be added or taken away dependin' on if it works or not." He paused. "Do you accept this?" He held the collar in front of Carl's face, giving him a good view of the intricate designs of the leather. 

He then realized he had been asked a question and his eyes flickered up to meet the other male's. "Yes," Carl stated, his voice cracking just a little bit. "Yes, Sir," he said more confidently with a short nod. 

Clearly pleased with Carl's answer, Negan got down on one knee in front of him and lifted the collar to his neck. The boy reached up hesitantly to lift his hair out of the way and the older male nodded with a grunt of approval. Everything seemed to take over him at once and his eyes fluttered shut as he took it all in - the feeling of the man's hands ghosting against the skin of his neck, the sensation of the cool leather against his flesh... And finally the sound of the padlock clamping down on itself satisfied him more than anything he'd ever experienced. That was it. He was officially Negan's. The collar around his neck would serve as a constant reminder for the boy - it would become one with him and Carl was entirely okay with that. 

When he finally opened his eyes Negan was inches from his face giving him a small half smile and a cocked eyebrow. His eyes glinted with an emotion Carl couldn't quite put his finger on but it excited him nonetheless. The student flushed underneath the man's gaze, ducking his head but before his chin could meet with his chest a leather covered finger caught his jaw and forced his eyeline back up. "Look at me," he said harshly and Carl immediately met his gaze. "Ready?"

Another short nod from Carl. "Yes, Sir." 

Everything happened really quickly. One second he was on his knees in front of the other man and the next a rough hand was tangled in his hair, yanking him up with a wince. Carl scrambled to reach up and clasp his hand around the larger man's wrist to offer some relief at the tug at his scalp. Negan dragged him down the hallway and even though the boy knew where they were going when the man opened a door and pulled him down a flight of stairs there was still a certain amount of excitement in his guts. 

Negan's personal play room was his entire basement, easily large enough to host a small party of 10-15 people, and if Carl had the time he would have sat there and ogled it some more. He had told the boy about it but Carl had yet to see it with his own eyes. He had various contraptions and furniture throughout the entire space with several walls lined with toys and accessories. He had so much that Carl seriously wondered if he'd ever get to try out everything in his lifetime. 

He didn't have time, however, to continue looking as Negan released the grip on his hair and pushed him toward one of the Saint Andrew's Crosses leaning against one of the walls. "Get those clothes off," he barked and Carl nodded before stripping in record speed, almost falling over when he yanked his shoes off. He hesitated at his underwear because he didn't know if the man wanted him _naked_ but said fuck it and pushed them down as well, a little embarrassed at the fact he was already sporting a half chub. There he stood, bare and waiting in front of the man with a blush that went from his cheeks to his upper chest. He moved his gaze up the full length of the other man - boot to cap - and licked his lips when he noticed he was rubbing at the bulge in his leather pants. 

"Against the cross," Negan demanded and Carl moved quickly, settling his belly where the large X met in the middle. As soon as he was met with the piece of furniture Negan was flush up against his back, digging his clothed groin into Carl's ass and the boy moaned as his head fell forward. He barely noticed his hands were pulled behind him for a second as smooth leather cuffs were buckled to his wrists. One at a time his hands were lifted above him and attached to the loops at the top of the cross, then the process was repeated with his ankles. Carl tested at the restraints, lightly pulling on them and biting his lip when there was no give. He was totally at the man's mercy now.

Negan stayed at his back, the man's mouth attaching to Carl's right shoulder blade, biting and sucking it's way to the other one. "You gonna be a good boy for me?" came the man's rough drawl and Carl whimpered in response. Clearly that wasn't good enough though because a hard _slap_ against his ass that had him seeing stars came next. "Answer the fuckin' question."

"Y-Yes, Sir. Gonna be good," was all Carl could manage to get out, ass still throbbing from the one hit. Boy was he in for a ride.

A dark chuckle in his ear came next. "Good," he stated plainly before backing away. Carl was just about to attempt to crane his head to the side to see where he had gone before another slap echoed the room, this one off of his back. Carl yelped at the sudden impact but it just surprised him more than it actually hurt. A few more smacks off of his skin had Carl closing his eyes. He knew the man was warming his back up, getting it used to the pain that was sure to come but fuck Carl would be lying if he said he didn't need more. He just had to be patient. After a few bursts of impact the man would rub at his back roughly, massaging the red skin with his gloved hands. 

Everything sort of came over him at once. The helplessness he found himself in, the vulnerable position of being spread out for the other man, the feeling of tugging on the restraints and knowing he wasn't going anywhere... it made that all too familiar headspace wash over his mind but this time... this time he embraced it. Welcomed it home with open arms. He wasn't afraid of it now. 

The sound of the leather flogger being tested out behind him broke him out of his thoughts. Negan seemed to be hitting it against another piece of furniture to warm himself up and get used to the toy. Carl tried to squirm against the restraints in anticipation but didn't really manage more than just a wiggle of his ass, making the man behind him chuckle. "You fuckin' want it, don't you? Can't wait for this shit," he grunted and Carl found himself nodding before he even had time to process the words fully. 

"Yes, _please_ ," he managed. And soon enough leather met his back in one short spurt and he gasped at the unexpected contact. It wasn't particularly hard or painful at first. Negan knew what he was doing and knew not to rush into it. He continued on with small hits before ghosting the falls over Carl's back, making the boy shiver. "P-Please," he got out. " _Harder_."

That seemed to be all the encouragement Negan needed because soon he was putting his back into it, striking Carl with much more force than he had before. The pain shot through his entire being and had he not been shackled to the cross his knees probably would have given out. The Dominant seemed to stick with flogging him from above for the most part, mainly on his upper back. But every so often he would throw a baseball bat swing that had Carl practically shouting. Deeper and deeper he slipped into his headspace until all that existed was him and Negan and their scene. Nothing else. 

And Negan did his job correctly. After a few particularly hard swings he would step forward and run his hand along the boy's back, reassuring him with touch that he was still there. He'd whisper in Carl's ear asking if he was doing alright and the younger male would bite his lip before murmuring out a barely incoherent, babbled yes. Then the man would return to his assault on the student's back making Carl break down all over again under each lash of the flogger. He struck the boy's ass a few times but didn't pay particular attention to it and the boy knew why. He was simply warming it up for what was to come. Negan made remarks here or there but Carl had a hard time focused on the man's words, too drowned in endorphins to pay attention. 

When the man finally began to slow down, striking him less harshly with the leather and returned to rub at the now raw skin, Carl winced at the touch. His back was on fire but the sparks rushing through his entire being made the whole ordeal worth it. He was lightheaded and was actually grateful he was wearing the cuffs because if he wasn't he would have fallen down a long time ago. 

He felt Negan's harnessed chest press up against his back he sucked in a breath through his teeth. He was warm but the metal rings on his harness bit into the heat of Carl's back in the most delicious way. The older male's groin was pressed up against his ass again and if Carl had more energy he would have pushed back against it. Almost tender kisses were peppered on his shoulder up to his ear and the scratch of the other man's facial hair had Carl shivering. "You wanna keep goin'? You know the word, Carl - say it and we're done here." He felt the man's sweat drip against his skin and that reminded the boy that Negan was putting a lot of effort into this as well.

Carl was so deep in subspace that the man's words almost didn't register in his mind. He had to push past the streamlined thoughts of submission to focus on if he needed to safeword or not. Carl had been flogged before but no one had ever done it nearly as intensely as Negan had. No one had made Carl's knees shake to the point he knew he couldn't trust them to hold him up anymore. But the pain and endorphins were fading now and Carl wasn't done. He needed _more_. He shook his head and kept his eyes closed. "K-Keep going," he stated in a hoarse tone. 

"Whatever you say, sugar," Negan whispered darkly in his ear, and the pressure at his back was gone for just a second while the older man freed his ankles from the cross without removing the cuffs. Negan pressed up against him again while he undid the clasps at the top of the cross as well. He was grateful the man was flush against his back again because his legs would have buckled under him if not. He was just about to stretch when man pulled him back by his upper arms. It was a short few steps to the massage table and the second he was there he was bent over it roughly, one fist tangling in Carl's hair and forcing his head down, cool leather pressing into his sweaty face. His hands were pulled behind him and the cuffs were clasped together making it so they were stuck there. Carl whined when the man pressed into his ass again and Negan grunted. "Such a good fuckin' angle. Could fuck that tight little hole right now just like this. Bet you'd like that." The other man's hand untangled from his hair and ran down his assaulted back before resting on his hips, gripping tightly as he pulled back only to thrust his hips into him again. The layers Negan was wearing prevented Carl from getting any real satisfaction out of it and he panted in frustration. "Bet I could take that hole right now, dry, and you'd still fuckin' love it."

Carl nodded frantically as visions of the man taking him filled his head. God, it had been so long and he wanted nothing more than for the man to buried in him. Suddenly the memory that they'd negotiated other things was lost on him. All he wanted was the man inside of him and inside of him  _now_. "Please," Carl gasped out. "Please, _please_ , fuck me," he begged, not caring if he sounded pathetic or not. 

Negan laughed at him then, giving him a few soft pats on the hips as he pulled away entirely, leaving Carl feeling much colder than he was with the man against him. "That's real cute, baby - thinkin' Daddy's gonna give you what you want. Maybe if you earn it." The man using his own title had Carl buzzing. He hadn't used it with his own voice yet but he was sure it would tumble out at some point. 

The sound of a belt buckle being pulled open made Carl's throat go dry. He wanted to believe the man was undoing it to fuck him, but he knew deep down that wasn't the case. "Hope you're ready for this, boy," came the man's voice as he smacked the younger male's ass roughly. "Let's see how many pretty marks we can get, yeah?" 

The second the leather impacted with his skin Carl outright yelped. If he thought the bite of the flogger had been intense before, that was nothing compared to the belt. Even the more softer hits the man landed on his ass had him crying out in pain. He grit his teeth and focused on the sting, centered himself around it and let it bring him back down before it spiked him up again. " _Fuck_!" he cried out, teeth sinking into the material of the massage table underneath his face. A few more hits on his ass had him rutting helplessly against the table. More. He needed _more_. Needed the pain. Needed the rush. The release. 

"Lookit that..." Negan cooed behind him, running his gloved hand along the cleft of Carl's ass. The boy whimpered at the smooth contact as the man pushed into what Carl could only assume was a forming welt. Good. Carl wanted a reminder in the morning. The fingers pressing into the mark trailed across Carl's hip and snaked around him, pushing him up slightly so the older man could grab at Carl's almost entirely hard cock. "And look at _this_... you're fuckin' lovin' this shit. You're one sick kid, ain't ya? Gettin' off to gettin' beat. That's fucked up." One gloved thumb swiped across the tip of his dick and he moaned, trying his best to thrust his hips forward but soon enough the man was pulling away leaving Carl desperate for more. "You're gettin' my table all fuckin' filthy, boy. Open those eyes and look at this." Carl did as he was told and opened them slowly and sure enough no more than three inches in front of his face were Negan's fingers, glistening with his own pre-cum. He was just about to open his mouth and apologize when said fingers were thrust in his mouth, startling him. " _Shut up_ ," the Dominant grunted, scissoring his gloved digits inside of the boy's mouth. Carl did his best to suck at them with all the movement but then they were pulled away and he pouted before he received a small, half-hearted slap to his face. "Don't get greedy."

The student's eyes slipped closed again when he heard the buckle of the belt move once more and he braced himself. The proceeding strikes against his ass had him whimpering out in agony and each one seemed to be more excruciating than the last. He felt tears prickle at his eyes and when they finally fell it came as a relief. He shook silently and for a moment Negan paused, letting Carl have the moment with his emotions. A warm hand rubbed soothing circles into his abused rear and Carl could tell just by the soft touches alone that he had at least five, maybe ten or more welts forming on his skin.

He didn't know how much more he could take, truth be told. Carl could handle a lot of pain, that was something he had learned over the last almost two years. But most of the scenes he had tried had been single things at once. He'd never done more than one thing in one scene, and the combination of the belt and the flogger had his brain running in circles. He was lightheaded, his breathing was ragged and he was pretty sure the only reason he hadn't passed out yet was his pure willpower to stay alert and how fucking _horny_ he was. 

Thankfully, though, Negan seemed to read the boy pretty well and instead of Carl having to safeword out of it (which he probably still wouldn't have done) the belt was set down with a soft ' _clink_ ' on the ground next to the table and the clasp holding the cuffs together was undone, Carl's arms falling limply to his sides as the blood rushed back to the appendages. Negan also seemed to know that the boy definitely wouldn't be able to walk because in one swift movement he was hoisted up and thrown over the man's shoulder. Carl's hands scrambled against Negan's back as he tried to get a good grip on him but the man was holding him by the thighs so he knew he wouldn't fall. The student just let himself be carried, barely paying attention to the fact they were moving upstairs again. He was so out of it that he was basically putty in the man's arms and Negan could mold him how ever he wanted. 

He was, however, very aware of his now painfully hard cock pushing up against Negan's shoulder. If he had more energy he would attempt to rut up against the flesh but he couldn't bring himself to try. However very briefly after that thought crossed his mind he yelped as he was thrown down onto... something soft. He reached out and fisted the material under him, finding a blanket. He opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling and a four post bed, each vertical column looming over him almost menacingly. Negan had brought him... to his room? Was the scene over? Hadn't they negotiated sex? Was he seriously going to leave him like this?

All panic evaporated from his chest though when he felt strong hands on his thighs forcing them apart before one of said hands wrapped around his throbbing dick and pumped him a few times languidly. Clearly the man was determined to keep Carl as hard as possible without offering any sort of relief because not a second later his hand was pulled away, causing the student to whine and thrust his hips upward. "So fuckin' needy. You really think you're gonna get to cum right now? Gonna have to earn it, boy." Carl looked down at the man with a pout and Negan reached up to flick at his bottom lip. "That shit don't work on me so don't even bother." 

Negan was moving then, standing up in front of Carl to the side of the bed in between the boy's knees that dangled off the edge. The older male looked down at him and cocked his head to the side, devouring Carl with his gaze. Had Carl not been as deep into headspace as he was he probably would have attempted to cover his body up with his hands. But no, he wasn't ashamed. This man wanted him. _Him_. No one else. He still couldn't wrap his mind around it, but it was a little bit easier in subspace. 

His tongue slid out to glide along his lips when he watched the older male palm the bulge in his pants, rubbing slow circles. "Tell me what you want, baby boy," Negan said in a gravelly tone. Carl whimpered and moved to grab at his own cock but his hand was slapped away. "I said, _tell me what you want_." 

"Wanna..." Carl managed to get out as he squirmed on the bed, one hand resting on his thigh and the other on his chest. It almost seemed weird to have free reign of his limbs again. "Wanna suck you." Negan cocked an eyebrow at him and Carl added quickly. "Please? Please, D-Daddy?" he stumbled through the word, but once it was out it felt right on his tongue. 

Something akin to hunger flashed in the Dominant's gaze and Carl bit his lip. "Can you get up?" Negan asked as he unbuttoned his leather pants and slowly - fuck, why was he doing it so slowly? - pulled down his zipper. Carl could see a peak of the man's trimmed pubic hair and the barest hint of flesh  and he realized Negan _definitely_ wasn't wearing underwear. Carl swallowed hard and tried his best to pull himself up - and fuck, did he try. He tried to use the man in front of him as motivation to drag himself up but his entire body was just not having the physical exertion and he soon found himself flopping backward against the bed again with a heavy sigh. 

"Don't think so..." he admitted in defeat before throwing his arm over his face and Negan gave him a dark huff of laughter. 

"Tuckered you out that good, huh? Maybe we should call it quits then, yeah? You're _so_ worn out, must be too tired to get fucked too." 

Carl's arm moved away from his face and his head snapped up immediately, blue eyes latching onto the other man's own hazel ones that were glinting with deviance. He knew the man was teasing him but he couldn't hold back his protest. "No!" he huffed out, eyes trailing down the older man's body before landing on his crotch. In the time Carl had put his arm over his face Negan had pulled out his own cock - thick and swollen in the man's grasp as he pumped himself listlessly. And was that... a cock ring? Carl's mouth was watering and he had to swallow down an entire mouthful of drool. 

"Alright, alright, hold on a sec," the man finally spoke, releasing his own cock before he pushed his pants down the rest of the way. He sat next to Carl on the bed and for a moment the boy was confused as to what he was doing before he realized he was pulling off his boots. Carl wanted to be the one to do that but they both knew he didn't have the energy to. Another time, definitely. The bed shifted and Carl looked up just as Negan was moving onto the bed more properly, kneeling right next to Carl's head in such a way that his cock was mere inches from the boy's face. Carl's vision flickered up to the other man's, begging silent permission and Negan gave him a short nod. "Go on, sugar," he grunted out. "Show Daddy just how much you want this cock."

That was all the encouragement Carl needed and very quickly he was reaching up with both hands to take hold of the thick length, one hand wrapping around the base of it and the other resting on Negan's thigh. It was a bit of an awkward position and he had to crane his neck to get the right pose, but soon the head of the man's cock was slipping past his pink lips and Carl moaned at the same time Negan did. A burly hand tangled in his sweat-slick hair and pushed him down, encouraging him to take more of it in his mouth. "That's my boy, such a good fuckin' cocksucker. How'd you get to be so good at this shit? F- _Fuck_ ," he stumbled through the last word as Carl hollowed out his cheeks and outright _sucked_ with every last bit of vitality he had left in him. "That's right, baby, get me nice and hard so I can fuck that tight little ass'a yours." 

Carl was so focused on licking, lapping and sucking at the hard member in his mouth that it took him a second to realize Negan's hand had found its way to the student's cock once more, pumping him lazily. His hand slid down and tugged experimentally on the boy's balls and Carl moaned eagerly, lifting his hips up for more. Negan rolled them in his hand, palming them as he took two fingers and pressed down on the boy's perineum. Carl couldn't get out anything more than a strangled gurgle around the flesh in his throat and after a few more thrusts into his mouth Negan finally pulled back, a string of saliva and pre-cum dripping from the head of his cock and attaching to Carl's bottom lip. "So fuckin' pretty..." the Dominant grit out, swiping his thumb along the strand before lifting it to his own mouth. Carl shuddered at the gesture before leaning up to mouth at the man's cock again. Negan pulled back with a chuckle and reached down to remove the boy's hand from the base of his dick. "Not gonna last much longer if you keep suckin' me like that, dollface. Don't want me to bust a nut before the main event, do ya?" Carl shook his head and Negan moved back to climb off of the bed.

The boy sat up on his elbows to watch the other male as he moved to the bedside table where a tube of lube rested on top and Carl bit his bottom lip. Finally, fucking _finally_ , he was going to get fucked. He felt like he'd been waiting for years for this. Negan knelt down between Carl's knees again and grabbed him by the ankles, lifting his feet up to the bed. Carl let himself fall back again as he heard the cap of the lube being flicked open. "Lookit that pretty pink hole," Negan cooed at him before he felt one smooth finger press into his entrance (he must have taken off one glove). It slid in with ease since Carl had prepped himself pretty thoroughly in the shower earlier and Negan didn't fail to notice that. "No offense baby, but you ain't as tight as I expected. You were playin' with yourself earlier, weren't you?" 

A bit of self consciousness rose in his chest. "Y-Yeah..." he muttered hesitantly. 

It was a bit remarkable how quickly the other man could read his reactions because not shortly after the word fell from his lips Negan was talking again, reassuring him. "Don't get me wrong, baby, you're still tight as fuck. It ain't like I'm gonna be throwin' a hot dog down a hallway or nothin'. Guess I just expected a little more resistance with the first finger." He added another one then which caused the boy to whine pathetically and grind down on the digits to the best of his ability. He could hear the grin in Negan's voice even if he couldn't see it. "Gonna be nice and stretched out by time I'm done with ya." 

The two fingers were all fine and dandy, but Carl needed _more_. He wasn't going to be satisfied until the other man was balls deep inside of him. Negan scissored his fingers, curled them upwards and the submissive gripped the blanket and damn near shouted when the man found his prostate. He heard the man mutter a soft ' _ahhh, there it is_ ,' but it barely registered in the boy's brain as sparks filled his vision. "D- _Daddy_ ," he gasped out as he wiggled his hips, ignoring the throb in his ass cheeks from the welts. "Please, _please_ fuck me now. _Please_ ," he begged, not caring how pitiful he sounded. 

A third finger had Carl choking out a whine as teeth clamped down on his inner thigh. Negan bit down hard enough that he knew he'd have a mark there later but Carl didn't mind. It excited him to think that in the morning he was going to be covered in marks inflicted by the other man. "Since you asked so nicely..." The fingers were removed from his ass and Carl whimpered at the loss. Shakily, he sat up on his elbows again and watched as the other male grabbed a condom off of the bedside table, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it on his own cock before lubing himself up. The student frowned, a little disappointed that he wasn't going to bareback him but then again they hadn't negotiated that. Plus, Negan had given _him_ papers but Carl hadn't given him his own. That was definitely something to discuss for next time. 

His hips were lifted suddenly and a pillow was shoved underneath them, hoisting his ass up in the air at a better angle for the older male. Negan still stood at the side of the bed and he lifted Carl's feet to rest on his burly shoulders. When the head of the Dominant's cock was finally pressed against his entrance Carl huffed and tried his best to push down against it. Finally, after what felt like a fucking eternity, the man slowly sunk forward - pushing his thick length into the boy and Carl bore down on it, gritting his teeth as it filled him up. The burn was definitely there - no three fingers could have prepared him for the full width of Negan's cock - but Carl eased into it, let the feeling envelope him. Negan himself released a low, intoxicating moan that had Carl clenching around his length just to hear it again. "Fuck, you're so fuckin' tight," he grit out. 

When the man was buried to the hilt in him Carl took a second to let his body adjust. He wasn't exactly a newbie when it came to having things up his ass (he had his fair share of toys at home that got used pretty regularly) but there was always that minor adjustment period he had to get through. When he was ready for the other man to move he wiggled impatiently, eliciting another primal groan from the man inside of him. Negan pulled back until he was almost entirely removed from the boy before he snapped his hips forward into him again, making Carl's eyes roll into the back of his head. Then the man's rhythm finally picked up as he fucked into the submissive more earnestly. "So. Fuckin'. Good." he grunted, punctuating each word with a thrust. 

Carl was whining, babbling incoherently and gripping onto the covers below him until his knuckles were white. Negan turned his head and mouthed at the boy's foot on his shoulder, nipping at his flesh as he hissed against the skin. "H-Harder, please," he whimpered, and instead of getting a smart ass remark in return the man actually listened to his plea and slammed into him more forcefully, making Carl see nothing but white as his prostate was finally found. "Fuck, yes, _there_!" he shouted. 

"Look at my boy," Negan grunted as he continued his ministrations. "Takin' Daddy's cock like he was fuckin' made for it. Tell me how much you love this, baby, tell me." The older male switched positions and let Carl's legs fall to his sides so he could lean over him and grip at his hips. Carl very weakly wrapped his legs around him to pull him closer and Negan leaned down to latch his mouth onto the skin of the boy's collarbone. "Tell me," he demanded, the hand that still had the glove on it snaking up Carl's body and wrapping around his cock. He didn't pump him but rather just held him there. 

It took Carl a second to remember what the man had told him to say, but soon enough he was gritting out, "Love it. Love your c-cock in me, filling me up... s-s-so good, _mmmm_...." he stammered through the words, yelping over and over as the man pounded his prostate.  He didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to handle this. He was already achingly hard in the other man's grasp, and the length ramming into him was making him see stars. "G-Gonna... Gonna c-c.." He suddenly remembered himself and changed his wording. "C-Can I cum? Please, Daddy? Can I cum?" He reached up with one hand and tugged forcefully on one of his own pert nipples. 

Negan grunted against the boy's skin, hips stuttering and for a second Carl was almost convinced the man was going to cum himself but he didn't. He pulled away from Carl's collarbone with a wet sound. He smirked down at the boy and continued thrusting. "Yeah, baby, you can cum. Cum for me. Cum for Daddy." It only took two quick pumps of the older man's wrist and the boy was spilling himself with a strained shout over the gloved hand and his own torso. The feeling was intoxicating - white blinding his vision as he rode out the orgasm shakily. "There we go, good boy," he purred as his hips stilled. 

"Now clean up your mess," he murmured, lifting his cum-covered hand up to the boy's lips. Carl lazily sucked at the gloved fingers, waiting for Negan to scoop up more of his own seed and feed it to him. "You're a fuckin' cum slut, aren't ya?" he breathed out and Carl watched him with half-lidded eyes before nodding slowly. "You want Daddy's cum now?" Carl continued nodding before licking his lips and Negan's smirk only widened. 

The older male pulled back and slipped out of the boy, causing him to whimper softly at the loss. Carl watched him with hazy blue eyes as he ripped off the condom and moved to kneel back on the bed next to Carl's face. "Gonna paint that pretty little face white," he got out with a grunt as he wrapped his hand around his own cock and started pumping with fervor. It was honestly something else, watching Negan pleasure himself. Carl wanted to help - wanted to use his hand or his mouth or _anything_ \- but he was just too damn exhausted. So all he could do was watch as the other male inhaled sharply through clenched teeth and fuck into his own fist. "You ready? I'm - _fuck_ \- here it comes," he grit out and Carl opened his mouth, tongue hanging out broadly as the man finally reached his own orgasm with a rough shout. Only a little bit of it actually got on his tongue and the boy was sure to close his eyes as the rest coated his face. Negan's entire body seemed to shudder as he rode out the aftershocks and when he finally opened his eyes Carl was looking up at him curiously, licking around his lips to try and reach the cum splattered across his face. The older male reached down with a chuckle and guided the white liquid into the boy's mouth with his thumb and Carl sucked on the digit greedily, happy to be met with the hand that wasn't gloved this time. As much as he enjoyed the taste of leather, he enjoyed the taste of the other man way more. 

Negan pulled his hand away from Carl, leaving the boy to pout up at him. He reached up with one hand and pulled off his cap before wiping his forehead with his opposite forearm. "Holy fuck," he spoke, voicing both of their thoughts. Carl hummed in response, eyes slipping shut with a pleased smile on his face. He felt the older male's hand stroke across his cheek but didn't open his eyes. "You gonna be okay for ten?" The student nodded. He was only going to be at risk for subdrop if he was left for more than half an hour. Right now he could just lay here and relax in this blissed-out, post-orgasm state. A gentle kiss was pressed to his lips and then the man was gone, leaving Carl alone. He thought he heard water running but didn't pay it any mind - he didn't blame the man for taking a quick shower.

Carl was still coming down from the high he'd been riding for the last few hours, the endorphins long gone but the pleasant buzz he got after still there. Going into full subspace was almost like being drunk to Carl. It left him dizzy and feeling like he was looking at the world from the clouds. Surely there was no drug that could make him feel the way his headspace did. His eyes drooped and he sighed contentedly, running one tired hand along his torso. The skin was sticky where Negan hadn't gotten some of his leftover cum but he didn't mind. It was just a reminder of all of the wonderful things they had done together that night. 

It wasn't long before the man returned, hair still dripping from the shower he'd just taken and smelling like fresh pine. He had donned a pair of boxer briefs and had removed his harness, glove and cap. Carl lifted his arms weakly up for the other man with a soft noise and Negan chuckled, grabbing the boy by the hands so he could pull him up into a sitting position. Carl put his arms on either side of himself to make sure he was steady and looked up just as a water bottle was held out in front of him. He took a long, grateful drink not even realizing how thirsty he was. When he was finished with half the bottle Negan pulled it away before he knelt down in front of him. He furrowed his eyebrows as to what the man was doing but his question was soon answered as he watched the man pull off the cuffs still around his ankles one by one, massaging each joint thoroughly before moving onto his wrists and doing the same. When they were removed Carl winced as the man swept him up in his arms bridal style and carried him to the bathroom. Negan shot him a look of understanding but otherwise didn't say anything. He knew why the boy was in pain. 

The next thing Carl knew he was being set down in a decently sized alcove bathtub that had already been filled with hot water and... something lavender scented? He didn't know if he was right but whatever it was it smelled divine. The heated water lapped deliciously against his sore skin and whatever was in it soothed his muscles down to the bone. When he opened his eyes Negan was kneeling next to the bathtub looking rather exhausted himself. "You ready to talk? Or not yet?" He spoke as he uncapped a bottle of sweet smelling soap and poured some into a washrag Carl hadn't noticed him holding before.

Carl shook his head, looking a little sheepish. "Not yet," he said softly, barely trusting his voice. "Still coming down," he admitted and Negan nodded in understanding. Carl then let the man move him around like a rag doll - lifting his arms to wash his armpits, pulling the boy forward to rub softly at his back. It was probably still red but the flogging wouldn't leave too bad of marks - the pain was already subsiding as well. The real bruises would come from his ass - even sitting in the hard tub made the welts ache dully. They'd be even worse in the morning.

The Dominant took surprisingly delicate care of cleaning the boy up the rest of the way, lathering and massaging each leg with equal attention and making sure to get the rest of the cum off of his face. He didn't wash his hair but it didn't really need it. Negan made sure to avoid his collar with the water, knowing the leather would fray and get ruined if it was soaked too much. Carl knew the man didn't skimp out on aftercare but he supposed he didn't expect to be treated like _this_. It almost seemed like too much. 

When Negan was done washing and rinsing the boy he let Carl soak in the scented water just a bit longer, moving to a sitting position next to the tub and resting his chin on the edge of it. He looked almost peaceful, just gazing tiredly at the submissive. Carl took the opportunity to reach up and cup the man's face, running his pruning thumb along the skin of Negan's cheek. The older male turned his head in the boy's hand and pressed a soft kiss to his palm, and just that one tiny action had Carl hiccuping back an overwhelmed breath. He didn't cry but the urge was there, and he knew even if he did that the man wouldn't judge him for it. It wasn't uncommon to cry after a scene like they'd just shared. It was an intense ordeal of emotions. Negan offered him the water bottle again and he finished it eagerly, thankful for the distraction.

After a few long moments of just sitting there staring at one another and Carl getting overwhelmed at how  _good_ this man had been to him so far (which was ironic considering how he'd felt about him two weeks ago), Negan made the call that it was time to get out. He helped Carl stand up on shaky legs and he barely made it out of the tub before almost falling on his face. He would have if not for Negan catching him. "Whoah there, Bambi. Gotta learn how to walk again, do ya?" Carl shot him a glare that had the man laughing. Negan made sure he was steady on his own two feet before grabbing a fluffy black towel and wrapping it around Carl's shoulders. Was _anything_ the man owned not black? Regardless of its color, Carl was grateful for it and buried his face into the material. He was just about to take a step forward when a hand on his hip stopped him. He turned, noticing Negan sitting on the edge of the tub and holding a small container of... cream? "C'mere," he muttered and he guided Carl to turn around so his ass was facing the older male. 

"What're you- _oh_ , ow," he whined out as Negan rubbed the cream into the painful welts on his ass. The burn quickly turned soothing though and he released a breath of relief, letting his head fall forward. 

"This is good shit," he explained as he continued rubbing it in. Carl only hissed once more as he moved on to a new set of welts. "It'll help. I'll send ya home with some. This is gonna bruise up real bad in the next few days - wouldn't be surprised if it hurts to sit. I gotcha pretty damn good." Carl could tell he was admiring his handiwork and blushed. At least by blushing he knew he was coming down. "Alright, that should be good." He screwed the lid back on the container and stood up. "Can you walk? Or d'ya need me to carry you?" 

Carl took an experimental step forward, pleased at when it landed successfully. "I can walk, just... stay close?" Negan nodded once and the boy managed to get back into the bedroom fairly easily despite the protest of his body. He needed to do _something_ for himself though and felt accomplished by time he made it back to the bed. "I've got... um... some clean underwear in my bag. Can you get them for me?"

"'Course. Got this out for you too, don't know if you want it or not, but it's there. Hang tight a sec," and without another word the man disappeared through the door. Carl picked up the grey sweatshirt Negan had been referring to off of the bed and held it up to his face, inhaling deeply. It smelled like the other man and that's all that mattered to the boy. He finished drying himself off quickly before pulling the sweatshirt over his head (it was much too big for him but that just made it all the better) and settled on the edge of the bed while he waited. He noticed another bottle of water on the bedside table and made short work of it. He knew hydrating after such an intense scene was important. 

When Negan returned Carl noticed he had a cup and something else in one hand, the boy's underwear in the other and four more water bottles tucked in his arm. He reached out for the underwear and pulled them on quickly before practically leaping back into the bed, yanking the covers down so he could dive underneath them. He settled himself on the man's pillows and looked back at him, holding out his arms and doing a grabbing motion to indicate he wanted the man to join him. Negan chuckled and stepped over to the bed, holding out the cup and the thing he had with it (which Carl noticed was a chocolate bar) and the boy took both happily. "Chocolate milk? Really? I'm not five," he stated with a pout but sipped at the liquid anyway. 

"Who doesn't like chocolate fuckin' milk? Shit is the cat's pajamas. If you won't drink it, I will." Negan held out his hand expectantly and Carl curled his fingers protectively around the cup as he took a long drink. "That's what I thought." The man placed the water bottles on the bedside table before pulling the covers back and sliding in next to the younger male. "You wanna watch somethin'?" He grabbed the remote and turned the tv hanging on the wall on. Carl nodded and slid closer to the other male, sipping at his chocolate milk. They decided on something lighthearted to watch and by the time it started Carl had finished his glass, holding it out to the older male to discard on the bedside table. When the cup was removed Negan took the opportunity to wrap one arm loosely around the boy's shoulders, tugging him closer and pressing a soft kiss to the submissive's head.

After awhile of just sitting there enjoying one another's company, Carl decided he was calmed down enough to talk. "It was good," he started, causing the other man to look down at him. Carl busied himself with the chocolate bar he'd been handed, opening it and putting a piece in his mouth.

"Yeah?"

Carl let the piece of chocolate melt in his mouth before he spoke. "Yeah, it was really good. I mean, it hurt, yeah, it was supposed to. But you didn't do anything we didn't talk about... and I felt really safe." He bit his lip, worry forming in his chest as he looked up at the other man. "Was it good for you?"

" _Fuck yeah_ it was," Negan stated abruptly. "You took that beatin' like a fuckin' champ. Had me on cloud fuckin' nine comin' down on you like that. And don't even get me started on when I was fuckin' you. Pretty sure that hole was made for my cock, kid." Carl found himself blushing again. "And you're always gonna be safe with me. Even when shit gets intense." 

"It was kinda funny," Carl muttered before he had time to think about his words. But that was what this was for, right? To talk about the scene, talk about what they just did, their emotions about it. "I kept thinking things and then you'd just do it like you read my mind or something." 

"You ain't hard to read, baby, and I've been doin' this for awhile." Carl wanted to pretend it was something about the connection between them and not because of Negan's experience, so he'd just ignore what the man said. Negan took one of the water bottles off of the nightstand and offered it to Carl before getting one of his own. Carl snuggled further into the man, resting his cheek on Negan's collarbone as he continued eating his chocolate. It was definitely helping restore his energy and he didn't know why he'd never thought of it for aftercare before. He knew that Kitten's aftercare kit included chocolate as he'd helped babysit her coming down from a scene quite a few times. It wasn't uncommon in public spaces to 'pawn' your aftercare off on someone else - especially if someone else was the submissive's best friend. 

"Are _you_ okay?" Carl asked softly after a brief moment of silence. He knew that top drop was a thing it just wasn't as common as sub drop. He wanted to make sure the older male was just as taken care of as Carl had been. He offered the man a piece of his chocolate and Negan seemed to take it gratefully, popping it in his mouth with a short nod. 

"M'good, don't worry 'bout me. Just tired, s'all. Used to be able to do six scenes in one night without batting an eye, but now I'm lucky if I can get one in without being ready to pass the fuck out." 

Carl poked the man playfully in the ribs. "That's the price you pay for getting to be an old man." 

Suddenly Carl was pushed onto his back and his sides were assaulted with diligent fingers. "Listen, you little brat - " the man started as he tickled the boy beneath him. Carl erupted into giggles and the man continued his attack until they were both out of breath and panting, which didn't take long considering how exhausted they both were already. 

When they stopped Negan huffed out a final breath of laughter and pressed his forehead against Carl's and just gazed at him again. The look he gave him almost overwhelmed Carl to the point of tears again but he held them back. He reached up and ran his hand down the side of Negan's face before leaning in and pressing his lips against the other male's. Negan kissed him back slowly, his own free hand coming up to cup the boy's face while his other held him up to keep from crushing him.

Negan pulled back and flopped back down on the side of the boy who in turn curled back up against the Dominant. He rested his head on Negan's shoulder and Negan pressed a tender kiss to his head. "Thank you," Carl murmured tiredly against the man's skin. Negan reached up and took the wrapper from the boy's grasp and discarded it. 

"Thank _you_ ," Negan echoed as he ran his fingers down Carl's side. "Now get some sleep, baby boy. Fuck knows you need it. I'll be here when ya wake up." 

That was what got to Carl. That was what made the tears finally fall. He didn't outright sob or even make a noise - he didn't have a reason to - but the tears came slow and steady. Maybe it was the aftershocks of the scene, maybe it was the situation. But this was real. Negan wasn't going anywhere and he'd be there when Carl woke up in the morning. He wasn't going to abandon him and leave him wondering what he did wrong. He felt a little ridiculous for crying but he knew that the man wasn't judging him for it. 

Negan didn't say anything, simply rubbed circles into the boy's skin and kissed him on the head again. Eventually the tears stopped and Carl sniffled softly as he felt tiredness take over his mind. Negan was right, he definitely needed to sleep. Needed to turn off his brain for a few hours and recover from the entire ordeal. "'Night," he murmured quietly, and he vaguely heard the man's response before he let unconsciousness take hold of him, safe and sound in his man's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAY IT WITH ME: NEGOTIATIONS, SAFEWORDS AND AFTERCARE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF ANY KINK SCENE. Thank you and goodnight.
> 
> Let's talk about Negan sitting with his chin on the lip of the bathtub and watching Carl all dreamily for a second, okay? That was literally my favorite part of this 12k word nightmare. 
> 
> FOR THE RECORD if you're a newbie with kink I DO NOT SUGGEST doing more than one thing in one scene. While combining kinks in one go can be hella fun, it's best done in private (not at parties) and when you have some experience with pain. The first time I got flogged I *only* got flogged and it literally tuckered me out for the rest of the night it was so intense. I can't even imagine getting flogged AND belted AND fucked in one go. Claps for Carl, everyone. Claps for Carl. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter didn't turn out how y'all expected. I felt like the scene ended quicker than I wanted it to but after going back I couldn't really figure out a way to fluff it more than it already was. 
> 
> AND FOR MY VISUAL PEOPLE: I'm visual and I know I don't do the best job at explaining how things look, so if you're honestly curious I have a few links for ya.  
> Negan's harness: https://78.media.tumblr.com/88c6220909075a9ab2bf5f979cc57137/tumblr_pd0qx2Y31I1xb8di7o1_250.png  
> Carl's collar: https://78.media.tumblr.com/e56756645573f508314192716711ab6c/tumblr_pd0qx2Y31I1xb8di7o2_500.png
> 
> I'll probably be updating on weekends from here on out unless the chapter comes extremely smoothly. At least that's what I'm crossing my fingers for. 
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support! If you have any questions (about Nicotine or my own experiences or anything) or comments feel free to shoot me a message on tumblr at cxgan!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carl spends the day with Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to preface this chapter with the fact that I really am not happy with how this turned out. It took me the entire week because I struggled with the transitions in the day and just... was all around unhappy with how it worked out. 
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments and words of encouragement. You really do keep me going. And thank you to everyone who has messaged me on tumblr! Y'all are blessings.

 Time seemed to go by faster than Carl could keep up with. 

The morning after their first scene together felt like almost a distant memory now, but it was still one that Carl held closely to his heart. He'd woken up early, sore and hungry to an empty bed. He had panicked at first before his nose lead him to the kitchen where he'd found Negan, cooking away. He had made a remark about being surprised Negan could cook and the older male had flipped him off before sliding Carl a heaping plate of bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and waffles accompanied with another hefty glass of chocolate milk. Carl had mused if that was going to become their thing, chocolate milk. Or maybe it was just Negan's thing. 

They had talked casually over breakfast, bantering back and forth about this or that and laughing together. It felt good to laugh with the older male. Negan made Carl laugh so hard his chest hurt and his eyes watered and in turn he'd made Negan laugh so hard he almost choked on his eggs. After eating they had cleaned up side by side and somehow found their way into Negan's walk-in shower together. Negan had fucked Carl up against the wall with water streaming down his face until the boy saw white and afterwards the student had asked Negan why in the hell he conveniently had lube and condoms in said shower. Negan had just shrugged and said he was just prepared and Carl had shoved at him, calling him Mr. Boy Scout affectionately. 

Carl had chosen that moment to bring up the barebacking suggestion and he could have sworn he ignited a fire in Negan's gaze that he hadn't seen before. The man had tried to tease him, called him a breeder and a cumslut and sure, Carl had blushed and denied it but the look in the other male's eyes hadn't fooled the boy. He knew Negan wanted it just as much. Negan had agreed that as soon as Carl showed him his papers they could, and the student made a mental note to get checked the next day. He knew he didn't have anything but it was common courtesy to show your partner your papers. 

They had spent the rest of the day in bed, at one point Carl had given the man an excruciatingly slow, sensual hour and a half long blow job (he only knew it was that long because the movie they had been watching was over by time he was done) that had his jaw aching by the end of it. But the sounds the man had made and the hot load shot down his throat made it all worth it in the end. They alternated between making out, talking, fucking, watching tv and eating and honestly Carl could not remember the last time he had been so satisfied with his weekend.

But it seemed like it was over just as it had begun and Sunday night Negan had dropped him back off at his apartment building. It had seemed almost unfair for the weekend to be over already and they both appeared to feel it as they had ridden in silence the entire way back, Negan's hand on Carl's thigh protectively the whole time. The older male kissed the life out of him again and promised Carl he'd see him soon enough. Carl had shoved at the man's shoulder and told him he better before he had slipped out of the car and walked back to his apartment. 

The following few days, however, Carl did _not_ see the other man even once. And neither of them were really at fault for it. It was Carl's studies that kept him from truly being able to relax. Finals week had come upon him quicker than he had expected and all week the boy was holed up in his room when he wasn't at work or class (aside from the one hour break he took on Monday to go get tested; he knew his priorities). His breaks at work were spent pouring over textbooks and writing down messy notes. Every so often his fingers would catch against his collar and he'd let his hand rest there for a moment, let the thought of his Dominant calm him down before he continued his work. 

Negan still texted him and he replied when he could. His last final was on Friday and the older man told him they'd celebrate as soon as Negan was done with practice that day. Finally having something to be excited about other than test after test, Carl woke up Friday morning with a bit more pep in his step. However, just as he walked up to the classroom he would inevitably take his test in he noticed a paper on the door that read ' **TEST CANCELLED - FAMILY EMERGENCY - RETESTING MONDAY AT 10:00AM** '. Carl huffed and checked the time: 9:04am. What was he going to do with his day now? He supposed he could go back to his apartment, relax and play video games for the first time in almost a week... But that almost seemed like a waste of time. It wasn't like he could go home and jerk off (which was a shame because he could use the tension release). 

So naturally he pulled out his phone and texted the first person who came to mind. Kitten would probably be upset if she knew it wasn't her.   ** _'Test got cancelled. Now I have a free day and have no idea what to do. Help?'_**  Negan's response came not more than two minutes later. **_'You still on campus?' 'Yeah, why?' 'Could come hang out at the field while I run drills. Kinda boring but at least you can stare at my sexy face.'_**  Carl ignored the arrogant statement and typed out a quick, **_'On my way.'_**

He walked perhaps a little too quickly to the practice football field (which was basically like a mini version of the larger stadium at the edge of campus). He turned what should have been a 20 minute walk into a 10 minute one but he couldn't help himself. It felt like it had been forever since he'd seen the man and Carl was eager to see his stupid face.  He moved hesitantly through the tunnel that lead to the field, hands clutching the straps of his backpack as he crept on. He spotted the players all running their drills in the middle of the field and stepped onto the sideline slowly, scanning the faces for the one he was there for. 

He heard the man before he saw him. "PETERSON! YOU'RE FUCKIN' LATE AGAIN! DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY AND THEN YOU CAN SPEND THE NEXT FUCKIN' HOUR RUNNIN' LAPS YA USELESS SACK OF SHIT!" His eyes latched on to the source of the voice and he couldn't hold back the short huff of laughter that rolled through him over what the man was wearing. Sure, it was just a bright red (UoG colors) polo shirt and a baseball cap but the shirt just seemed so _unlike_ Negan that he had to laugh.

Hazel eyes met his own blue ones not a second later and Carl gave the man a short wave before the coach was soon jogging over to him. He expected maybe a hug, a pat on the back or something a little friendly-looking but he most certainly was _not_ expecting the man to do what he did next. No, instead of just hugging him the man practically yanked Carl into his arms and planted a hard, needy kiss straight on the boy's mouth. The student was a little shocked and forgot to kiss him back right away but Negan seemed determined to kiss him until he did reciprocate so finally he moved his mouth. He blushed fiercely and pulled back when he heard a few of the players on the field whoop and whistle at them. "Hi," Carl murmured softly with a small smile and Negan gave him a wide grin of his own. He was still a little surprised by the gratuitous public display of affection. He didn't know why, but he figured Negan was the kind of guy that might want to keep their relationship a secret. He'd never been so wrong. 

"Hey there yourself, sugar. C'mon, you can sit on the bench while I tell these fuckers what to do." He turned around and pulled Carl by the hand behind him, flipping off everyone on the field as they walked. "Shut your fuckin' mouths, all'a ya! Or you'll all be joinin' Peterson for the next hour." The players all seemed to grumble and go back to whatever drills they'd been working on before. 

Negan introduced him to the other coaches (there were three, including Negan) and Carl had smiled politely and shook their hands in greeting. They probably weren't the happiest about Negan's _boyfriend_ (that word still felt weird) crashing their training but if they were mad they didn't say anything. Carl settled himself on the bench next to the field and proceeded to watch the following drills. He supposed he didn't realize Negan's job was so... physical. He assumed that the man just stayed on the sidelines and yelled at the players what to do. He didn't expect the man to actually run alongside the athletes most of the time, shouting this or that as he blew his whistle at them.

It was almost intimate in its own weird little way, seeing Negan like this. In his element outside of all of the leather and dominance. It was... raw. A side of the man that Carl was sure not many people in the community had seen and he was grateful he'd been given the opportunity. It reminded the student that they weren't just in a dynamic together... Negan had agreed to a relationship as well. Sometimes he still had a hard time believing that.

Carl couldn't take his eyes off of the man's every move. The way he worked with the other boys, broke them down only to bring them back up again with borderline fatherly pats on the back and praise when one of them did something good. The way he ducked his head to listen to what one of the other coaches had to say before nodding and responding. The boy had to remind himself this was him watching Negan _work_ , technically. Watching him do his job. His career. The thing he'd been doing for ages, and hell that really showed. Carl had never been into sports when he was younger. He'd tried a few different things as an elementary school student - soccer, karate, whatever his mom could put him in that he didn't entirely hate - but nothing had ever really stuck. Nonetheless he still remembered the few friends he did have that were involved in sports saying how their coaches had changed their lives. There was a special sort of bond between a coach and their athlete, and Carl was a little disappointed he'd missed out on having that kind of connection. Regardless of his own mini pity party, he could tell that Negan was a good coach. The kind of guy who impacted lives in a good sort of way. He wondered if Negan enjoyed that about his job and made a mental note to ask him about it later. 

Every so often the older man would catch Carl's eyes staring him down and he'd shoot him a grin and a sultry wink that made the boy's stomach do somersaults. Carl would smile, duck his head and blush. He was pretty sure he could wind up with Negan forever and he'd never get used that stupid man's face and his mannerisms.

Three hours went by in the blink of an eye. Maybe it was because he was so distracted by watching Negan move around and guide his players but next thing he knew they were all shoving off, moving back to the large building next to the practice field for lunch. Carl watched the athletes - clearly achy and tired from practicing for three whole hours - all grumble and groan and rub at their sore muscles as they stalked off. It reminded Carl of the healing welts on his own ass and he squirmed uncomfortably on the bench at the reminder of them. The bruises and sores were mostly healed by now but thinking about them made them ache. "So, what'dya think?" a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he watched as Negan plopped down beside him on the bench, one leg on each side of it as he faced Carl. 

"Pretty boring," Carl teased although it was kind of the truth. While it was nice to see Negan do his thing and learn more about the older male he couldn't imagine having to do this every day. It would get old really quickly. 

Negan huffed out a breath of laughter. "Not big on sports, huh?"

"Never really have been. But I liked watching you. Was kind of nice to see you interact with people outside of the community."

"I am a real person, Carl." It was said softly, almost like an admission. 

"I know. It was just nice to see. You're a good coach." He shot the man a warm smile and Negan's eyes glinted with an emotion Carl hadn't seen in the man yet. Maybe... humility?

"C'mere," Negan muttered, patting at the bench in front of him. Carl looked nervously around the field only to find it empty and slowly he scooted closer to the man. "Not like that," the man grunted and turned Carl so his back was to the Dominants chest. Carl pulled his leg over the bench so he was in the exact same position as the man and Negan leaned forward to put his large hands on the boys thighs, bracketing him with his arms. "Wanna know what I was thinkin' about?" he murmured in a seductive tone into the boys ear, hot breath close enough to make Carl shiver. Carl settled his hands on top of Negan's on his thighs just to steady himself. "Was thinkin' 'bout bendin' you over this here bench, tearin' these sexy little jeans off of ya and raw doggin' you right here in front'a everyone." Carl took a sharp intake of breath and the older male chuckled darkly, one thick hand gliding along the student's thigh to rest on the slowly growing bulge at his groin, the boy's own hand staying on top of the coach's. 

Ever so gradually he started rubbing circles into the fabric of his jeans and Carl let out a breathy moan, his head falling back against the man's shoulder. Negan took the opportunity to take advantage of Carl's exposed neck, leaning down and nudging his hair to the side before kissing a line up to his ear again. "Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Me fuckin' the hell outta you, makin' you scream 'Daddy' over and over like a little bitch." The circles against his crotch became rougher and he whined at the lack of contact he really wanted. But they were on a football field in the middle of campus. He couldn't exactly whip his dick out right then and there. Negan's mouth attached to his neck again, hungrier this time as he sucked a hickey into the boy's skin that had Carl squirming. He pulled back only slightly, running his tongue along the abused flesh. "Alllll of that in front of everyone. My players, the other coaches - they'd see just how much of a slut for my cock you are." 

"D- _Daddy_ ," Carl gasped, trying to sound warning but failing miserably. He sounded more desperate than anything and well, he sort of was. 

Negan finally pulled back, removed his hands from the boy and picked himself up off of the bench. Carl pouted up at him and just like he had during their first scene, Negan reached up to flick at the boy's bottom lip. "C'mon, baby boy. Gotta get back to the cafeteria for lunch or everything's gonna be gone. Those boys are motherfuckin' monsters," he stated with a cocky grin. Negan hooked his fingers into the collar that rested around the boy's neck and tugged.

Very slowly Carl proceeded to stand, his entire lower body protesting at the movement and it took him a few minutes to regain control of himself. Negan just continued to smirk at him knowing full well that the boy's lack of coordination was his fault. He exhaled sharply, picked up his backpack off of the ground and started walking towards the direction the players had gone. Negan got up beside him, slinging his arm over the student's shoulders and pressing a fierce kiss to his temple. "You're a good boy," he murmured in Carl's ear and the younger man blushed. 

The walk back to the mess hall was relatively short, and soon they were seated around a large cafeteria table with several sweaty and rowdy football players. Seating was so crowded that Carl found himself shoulder to shoulder next to Negan and who he was pretty sure was the quarterback. Carl stayed relatively quiet while he ate and the other men didn't seem to mind - laughing loudly at jokes one another made and talking with their mouths full. 

After lunch Carl was invited to sit in with Negan and the team while they went over various plays and video recordings of both the team itself and some professional football teams as well. Carl was kind of bored the entire time but watching Negan ramble on so animatedly about the sport was amusing enough to at least keep him awake. It was nice to see how passionate Negan was about his job. 

After a solid two hours the team was excused to the weight room to work on lifting and Negan pulled Carl into the direction of his office. Negan's office was quaint, not too small but not too big. Enough room for a small couch, a desk, three chairs and Negan's own desk chair. The walls were lined with various promotional game posters, a few framed jerseys and several pictures. The coach sat the boy down on the couch with a kiss on the head and muttered something about doing some paperwork and Carl took that as a sign they wouldn't be talking very much. So, figuring he could study for his test on Monday, he pulled out his textbook and notes and began going over them. 

Carl was a little bit irate that his test had been put off. After all, he spent most of Thursday night studying and preparing for the final only to have it be put off for an entire weekend. It just seemed like a stupid joke to the boy. Instead of studying the night previous he could have spent time with Negan. But well, there was no point in dwelling on the past. At least he was with the man now even if it was in relative silence while they both worked. 

At some point he moved into a laying position on the couch, head propped up on the arm rest and notes rested on his chest while he studied away. Maybe it was the lack of sleep he had gotten the previous night, but the dull sound of Negan's pen scratching against paper and the clock on the wall ticking soon started to lull the boy until he was dozing, notes going slack in his hand as he practically slipped into unconsciousness. 

He didn't dream, and when he woke he found a crisp feeling windbreaker placed over him and his notes no longer in his hand. Squinting across the room as he blinked the world back into his vision, he noted that Negan was still sitting in the same position he'd been in before. "Mornin', sunshine," came the man's voice without looking up at him. How he had known Carl had even woken up was beyond him. The boy merely scoffed and sat up, setting the jacket next to him on the couch as he stretched. t

"How long was I out?" he asked with a soft groan. 

"'Bout two hours," Negan responded before Carl's eyes could fully focus on the clock on the wall. Two hours? Jesus, he knew he was tired but he didn't think he was _that_ tired. "I'm almost done here, then I just gotta excuse the boys and I'm all yours the rest of the night." Carl's lips twitched up at that fact. Maybe Negan had missed him just as much as Carl had. 

Carl finished stretching the kinks in his body out before leaning forward and fishing his water bottle out of his backpack. Finding it empty, the boy hummed in disappointment and stood. "Be back," he stated. "Gonna go fill this." Negan waved him off with the hand holding his pen and Carl slipped out of the office. 

Thankfully there was a drinking fountain just about fifteen feet from the man's office, a perk to being on campus where there seemed to be an abundance of them at every turn. He unscrewed the cap on his bottle and pressed his hip into the handle as he began to fill it up. He wondered what him and Negan would do after practice was over - he didn't really care what they did, honestly. He'd just be happy to spend the evening with the man. He cursed inwardly as he remembered he'd left his test result papers (which he had gotten emailed to him just the day before) back at his apartment and wondered if Negan would be willing to stop by there. Well. Maybe he was getting a little bit ahead of himself. There was no guarantee they were going to have sex after all. 

A voice broke him out of his thoughts and he turned to the source of it, finding one of Negan's players standing there in gym shorts and a loose tank top, sweat dripping down his face. "Ay, you're Carl, right?" Carl nodded once and moved to cap his bottle again once it was filled up. He wasn't really sure how to react. "Coach has been talking about you a lot lately, so it's cool to put a face to the name." Carl honestly could not wrap his mind around the concept of Negan talking about him to other people so the statement kind of astounded him for a moment and he was unable to think of anything to say in response. Thankfully the player seemed to catch on and continued anyway. "Wanted to say I'm happy for you guys. It's been awhile since Coach has been this happy and I can tell we got you to thank for that. Coach... He's real good to us. Takes care of us even when he doesn't have to. Me especially. Fuck knows where I would be without the guy," he said with a soft awkward laugh before patting Carl on the upper arm. 

This was all happening so fast and Carl didn't know what to say. They'd only been together for what, two weeks? And already he'd apparently effected Negan to the point his own football players had noticed the change in his mood? It just all seemed a little far fetched, but the proof was literally standing right in front of him explaining that was how it was. "I..." he started, clearly having no idea where he was taking the sentence. "Thank you," was all he managed to get out, cheeks tinting pink as he looked at the ground instead of meeting the athlete's eyes. 

The football player laughed softly and gave Carl another playful pat on his upper arm, this one a little rougher. "No problem, dude. I'm Ramon, by the way." He held out his hand and Carl took it with the hand not holding his water bottle, shaking it a few times before dropping it. 

"Nice to meet you," Carl responded politely. They both turned to walk back down the direction of the office but before they got there a familiar lumbering figure was stepping out of it (sans baseball cap, Carl noticed), pulling the door shut behind him and locking it. Carl noted that he had the boy's backpack slung over one shoulder, the small bag looking out of place on the larger male's frame. 

"Balthazar!" Negan bellowed when he looked over and saw them both coming down the hall. He finished locking his office door and turned to face them. "What're you doin'? Harassin' my boy?" Carl had to resist the urge to outright blush at the nickname. 

"Yeah, pop, you better believe it. Giving him the whole 'if you hurt Coach you'll have another thing coming' speech," Ramon stated cheekily, making sure to shoot Carl a teasing wink. Carl could have outright laughed. If anything it would be the other way around; he was pretty convinced that he wasn't going anywhere at this point. Negan would have to throw him to the dogs if he wanted to get rid of him. 

Negan laughed for them both, reaching out and pulling the athlete into the crook of his arm before barreling down on his head with his knuckles in the form of a noogie. "Ya brat," he muttered affectionately. Ramon fought against the other man before finally successfully pushing him away and Carl watched the entire action very curiously. The fatherly nickname Ramon had used wasn't lost on him, and he made another mental note to ask Negan about that later. 

The coach finally released the athlete and handed Carl his backpack which he took gratefully before slinging it onto his back. Suddenly remembering he had filled his water bottle for a reason, he uncapped the lid and took a long drink while they all started walking down the hall. Ramon filled the silence, explaining, "Tommy got really sick and we sent him home. That's what I was coming to tell you." 

Carl checked his phone for the time, noting it was almost five. He was surprised that the day had gone by pretty fast - spending time with Negan typically worked that way for him though - and he was excited that the work day was almost over. 

They all moved back to the weight room and Carl watched Negan give the boys a rousing pep talk about how well they'd all been doing in the pre-season and how he was proud of the accomplishments they had made so far. Sure, he still threw in an insult here or there and teased the boys mercilessly for one thing or another, but watching this softer side of the other man was really something else. Carl could tell just how much Negan cared about his players and their well being. Ramon was definitely right when he said that their coach was good to them. 

Negan excused the athletes for the day, telling them to have a good weekend and rest up for another hard week of work and soon they were all shuffling out of the weight room towards the direction of the locker room. Carl put his water bottle back into his backpack and leaned up against a wall while he waited for Negan to finish talking to one of his assistant coaches. He made sure to give Ramon a short wave and smile when he walked past. 

When the man was done talking and sauntered back over to where Carl stood, the boy gave him a warm smile. "Dinner?" Negan offered with a quirked eyebrow and Carl nodded. 

"Sounds good," he stated and they walked out of the weight room. 

While they walked back to Negan's car, the coach asked Carl about how his finals had gone during the week and Carl had explained how he felt like he did well on them but was a little nervous about one, and the older male reassured him that he probably did better than he expected which Carl appreciated. They brushed shoulders several times and by the fourth time Negan swore under his breath with soft ' _fuck sake_ ' and reached down to grab the younger male's hand. Carl didn't know if he was frustrated with the boy's clear want to hold the man's hand and lack of balls to actually grab it or his own pride at doing it but regardless, the student's hand slid into the older man's with ease, interlocking their fingers in a way that had Carl feeling warm all over. 

He didn't do anything stupid like swing their hands together and they stayed pretty close to one another as they walked. The rest of the journey back to the car was silent and Carl wondered if Negan had something on his mind that he didn't know how to voice. It seemed to be that way for the other male, their long stretches of silence were usually because Negan was piecing together how to bring up the next subject. Carl didn't mind and gave the man all the time he would need. When they got to the car Carl lamented the loss of warmth between his fingers but slid into the passengers side nonetheless, buckling his seat belt when he got in. Negan did the same and they pulled out of the parking lot. Carl didn't know where the man was taking him for dinner but didn't mind not being given an option. Sometimes it was just nice not to have to choose. 

Carl remembered a subject he had wanted to bring up and looked over at the other man whose eyes were still on the road. "So... that Ramon guy," he stated plainly, not really sure how to approach the subject. 

Negan seemed to understand the direction he was headed in and Carl was grateful he didn't have to elaborate. "Ramon's a good kid. He's been on my team for almost three years now. Going into his junior year in the fall," he started. That meant the athlete was older than Carl. "I've helped him a lot. With school, football, girls," he finished with a chuckle. "Didn't have the greatest home life growing up. His dad was a piece of shit and hardly around for a bunch of fucked up reasons and I guess I kinda took him under my wing when he showed up that first year." Negan sucked at his teeth, a subconscious action Carl had noticed the man did quite often. "Kid's like a son to me, I guess."

That would explain the fatherly nickname, Carl mused. Clearly Ramon thought of Negan the same way. "That's nice," he quickly stated when he realized he hadn't said anything. It was a shame that Ramon hadn't had a good father figure growing up. Carl didn't know what he would have done all of his life if he didn't have his dad; the man was incredibly important to the boy. He was glad that Negan had stepped in in a way for the player. Maybe one day they could all sit down and have dinner together or something and Carl could learn more about their relationship, because he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about it. "So..." he started, a teasing edge to his voice as he looked over at the other male and cracked a grin at him. "Does he call you 'daddy' too?" It was a cheeky question but he couldn't resist, honestly.

In response a rough hand clamped down on his thigh with a grip strong enough to leave bruises and Negan shot the boy a warning glare out of the corner of his eyes. "They'd never find your body, Grimes," the man stated with his own playful tone and Carl outright laughed at that. 

The rest of the ride was quiet but Negan flicked on the radio so they wouldn't have to sit in silence. Soon enough they had pulled up to what Carl assumed was some sort of steakhouse and he mused that Negan _would_ pick a steakhouse for dinner. Seemed like the kind of place his dad would have picked, but Carl didn't voice his comparison. But Carl liked steak so he wasn't going to complain. 

Dinner was spent primarily getting to know one another some more, and Carl mused that yeah, while the kink and the sex and everything had been hot and fucking amazing thus far, getting to know Negan like this on a personal level was something that made the boy all gooey inside. He could listen to the other male talk for hours (and honestly he probably would if Carl let him) and he would never get bored.

The conversation was light at first, simple topics like pets they had growing up and what their opinion was on them now. Negan said he'd considered getting a dog in the past few months just to have something to come home to and Carl had told him how he'd personally love to have a dog some day. They discussed a few other innocent topics, movies they liked and the last thing they had seen in theatres. They both seemed to be pretty big movie buffs and Carl had to admit he was excited at the prospect of them having movie nights or going to see one together. 

Then the topic shifted toward deeper subjects. Carl told the man more about his dad and step mom, how instead of being like most kids would be and act resentful that his dad had moved on he had been incredibly supportive of his new relationship. It sort of helped that his new step mom was an absolute bad ass lady that Carl respected. She was kind, compassionate and loved with her whole heart. The perfect kind of person for his dad to end up with. 

But soon Carl grew tired of talking so much about himself and tried his best to steer the conversation back to the Negan sort of direction. He swallowed down his nerves and approached with a question he had been curious about for awhile: what Negan's last relationship had been like. 

Negan took a long moment without looking at the boy and for a moment Carl wondered if he had said the wrong thing. He convinced himself that it was just because the man was chewing a rather hefty bite of steak and when he finally spoke Carl had visibly relaxed. 

He had then gone on to explain rather slowly that his last relationship was with a woman named Lucille and the two of them had been together for roughly six years. She was his slave and he was her Master although it had started with simple D/s. It had taken them two years to progress to an M/s relationship and three years for him to give her an infinity collar. Carl knew what an infinity collar meant. It was basically the kink equivalent of a wedding ring. Curious, Carl asked what had happened and Negan said it had been a long time coming. Apparently the two of them just hadn't meshed well enough and had tried to make the relationship work for longer than they should have. But they were both hard headed and refused to give up on what they had built. The older male went onto explain that the thing that eventually tore them apart was the fact Lucille had gotten a job opportunity in another state and Negan wasn't willing to leave his position at UoG so the two had parted ways almost five years ago but remained friends.

Five years ago. He had been alone ever since. Sure, Carl knew that the Dominant had taken plenty of lovers over the years but he could relate to the loneliness that the man must have felt. After a moment passed between them Carl had thanked the man and Negan had looked at him with a cocked eyebrow so he went on to clarify that he was thankful he had told him. Negan shrugged and said that Carl deserved to know whatever he wanted to and that made the boy smile down at his plate. It was nice to know he could ask Negan whatever and the man would answer honestly. 

They finished up dinner with more casual conversation, Negan paid the bill (despite Carl's protests that he could pay for himself) and they left. Carl asked Negan what the plan was for the night and the man offered Carl to spend the night. He also tacked on that if Carl wanted the night to himself and would rather spend Saturday night at Negan's place then he wouldn't mind. Carl rolled his eyes and felt a bit like a meme when he muttered something along the lines of 'why not both?'

The only stipulation Carl had was they needed to stop by his apartment so that he could pick up some clothes and his test results and Negan had given him an amused look at the latter. Almost like he was surprised it hadn't taken Carl very long to get tested. The boy just shrugged and ignored the 'cumslut' remark the older male made, quipping back at the man that he liked it. Negan had just chuckled and huffed a quiet " _that I do_ " at him that had the boy flushing in the low light.

They made it to his complex and Carl had jumped out before running up to his apartment and packing a quick bag, telling his roommates he'd probably be back on Sunday and not to worry about him. They just waved him off and went back to their rousing game on whatever console they were obsessed with that month. 

Soon enough the boy was back seated in the passengers seat as they headed toward the direction of Negan's place. Excitement swirled in his guts and Negan asked the boy if he'd like to do another kink scene on Saturday. Nodding furiously in response, the man chuckled and the two of them started going over details of what they might do the next day. The bruises on his ass still hadn't completely healed but Carl was already eager for more, saddened already by how much they had faded. Sure, the first few days after the previous weekend had been a little rough whenever he needed to sit on a hard surface but Carl embraced the pain, relished in it a little bit as a reminder of what they had done. The idea of getting more just made him giddy and lightheaded. 

They continued talking about their next scene even after they got to Negan's place - after all negotiations weren't always the quickest conversations and rightfully so. But shortly after they arrived they wrapped up the talk and Negan suggested they watch a movie to relax. Carl agreed despite the fact he could think of about ten other things he'd rather be doing with the other man. The boy moved to the bathroom to change into his pajamas (a pair of gym shorts and a tank top) and when he returned he found Negan stretched out on the couch, sans shirt and with a bowl of popcorn next to him. 

Negan held out his arm for the boy and Carl practically leaped onto the couch next to the man, tucking himself up underneath his arm and snuggling in. He set his chin on the man's chest and asked him what they were watching, to which Negan said The Departed. Carl had never seen it before (which was surprising because it apparently had Leo D in it and Kitten was mildly obsessed with the actor) but the man said it was a good one and he trusted his opinion. 

Carl struggled to keep his eyes open as they watched the film, not entirely sure if it was the lack of sleep that left him so tired or just the fact he felt so comfortable when he was wrapped up in the other male like this. Negan ate most of the popcorn but Carl didn't mind, he wasn't that hungry after the massive dinner they'd eaten. About halfway through the movie Negan paused it for a bathroom break and on his way back had a question for the boy. 

"How do ya feel about chastity?" he'd asked as he flopped back down on the couch. Carl didn't move to cuddle up to him immediately, instead sat there weighing the man's words in his mind. 

"I've never done it," he admitted with a soft shrug. He had friends that were really into it and he had to admit that the concept kind of intrigued him but he'd never gone so far as to purchase himself a device or anything like that. Orgasm control was definitely one of his kinks - hence why he'd been so excited when Negan suggested the 'could only touch and cum with permission' rules. Chastity was basically just a more extreme version of that, right? "If it's, uh, something you like then we could do it. I've always thought about it before." 

Negan's eyes glinted with a hungry flame that had Carl squirming where he sat, feeling a little naked under that steamy gaze. "Yeah, if you're up for it then it's somethin' I'd like to do," he stated with a smirk as he pulled out his phone. "Was lookin' at a couple of devices last night, readin' reviews and shit to see what one would work best. It's a toss up between the Holy Trainer and the CB6000," he finished, handing Carl the phone so he could look at the two options. "The second one is more snug 'round the balls." 

Carl took a solid ten minutes looking over the two options, reading the reviews below each one and figuring out which one would be best for him. He handed the phone back to the other male finally and stated, "I think the Holy Trainer would work best." He probably should have looked at the pricing on each of them but he forgot before he handed the phone back. Maybe it was for the best that he didn't know how much each of them were, and he promised himself he wouldn't go looking for said prices later on his own phone. He needed to learn to let Negan do things for him. "The black one," he added on, knowing the man probably would have gotten black to match his damn aesthetic anyway. 

"Alright. Gonna start you out slow so don't worry 'bout that. Probably just a few days in it, then we'll move up if ya like it." Carl nodded, glad he wasn't going to be committing to a month long chastity session the first time he put the damn thing on. "Now c'mere," Negan muttered and pulled Carl up against him again, the two of them sinking back into the couch as the student rested his head on his chest again.

It wasn't long before those other things Carl wanted to do with the man next to him came to mind again, and this time he couldn't really resist his urges. It started simple, one hand splayed against Negan's bare stomach, running his fingers through the man's belly hair innocently. Negan was too focused on the movie to really pay attention to what the boy was doing, but the moment the tips of Carl's fingers gingerly slipped beneath the waistband of his jeans Negan's hand was placed on top of his own. "We're watchin' a movie, Carl," it sounded almost reprimanding but there was a hint of teasing to his tone that told the boy he didn't entirely mean it.

"A movie you've already seen," Carl muttered, mouth pressing tiny kisses to the skin of the man's chest. 

"But you haven't," Negan attempted to argue. Carl didn't have the heart to tell the man he'd barely been paying attention to the first half of the movie so instead he wiggled his hand out from underneath the other man's and pushed it further down into the jeans. The tips of his fingers were met with coarse trimmed pubic hair and he knew if he went any further without permission he was probably going to get in trouble, making him bite his lip. 

"Please?" he asked softly, soft pink tongue flicking out to taste the Dominant's skin. He was salty from sweating so much earlier in the day and Carl couldn't get enough of it, tongue flattening to take in more of the flesh. "Please, Daddy?" he tried again before he resumed his ministrations. He didn't realize how desperate he was but it had been almost a week since he'd been able to cum. He hadn't asked permission to jerk off during the week because frankly he hadn't had time and it was all catching up to him now. After Negan's little show on the football field earlier Carl was surprised he hadn't jumped the man the second they walked through the front door of his house. 

"Fuckin' _minx_ ," Negan grunted. Carl could have argued that statement but he kept his mouth shut just in case it risked his chances of actually getting anything tonight. "Can't even wait for the damn movie to be over, can ya?" he asked with a chuckle, moving the hand that wasn't wrapped around Carl to the boy's mouth, nearly shoving his fingers into it. Carl moaned around the digits and sucked eagerly, lifting his head off of the man's chest to get a better angle. "Been awhile since you came, huh? My poor baby, almost a whole week. You must be so desperate for Daddy's cock." Carl whimpered in response and Negan chuckled. "Go on, sugar," he encouraged as he removed his fingers, and that's all that Carl needed before he was hastily undoing the button on Negan's pants and pushing the material down urgently. Negan lifted his hips and soon both his jeans and boxer briefs were pushed down mid-thigh. 

Carl licked his lips at the side of Negan's cock, half hard and twitching against his leg and reached out to grip it tightly, eliciting a sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth from the man. The boy pumped him lazily, getting him to full mast before he slipped down off of the couch and settled between Negan's knees. He switched to his mouth almost immediately, slipping the thick length past his pink lips and sucking eagerly, lapping at the underside of the shaft with the tip of his tongue. Negan moaned above him, hands shifting to tangle in Carl's long locks and the boy delighted in the feeling of the tug against his scalp. 

A socked foot nudging against the growing bulge in his gym shorts had his hips stuttering forward for more contact. "Get that cock out, boy." Carl didn't have to be told twice and with all the urgency in the world he reached down and practically yanked himself out of his gym shorts, moaning when his hand met the flesh of his own dick. He thrust into his hand, desperate whine forming around the organ in his mouth. "Look at you, my little cocksucker," Negan praised him and his own grip sped up, the dry friction delicious against his aching member. 

Despite his attention on himself, he didn't miss a beat in pleasuring the older male. He sucked him down eagerly, letting the man thrust into his mouth and slip down his throat with ease. "Not gonna last long," Negan grunted out, grip on Carl's hair tightening. "Been a minute for me too," he admitted. The boy wondered if it had been as long for the other male as it had been for Carl but didn't stop to ask. Instead he merely braced himself for what was to come and hollowed out his cheeks. It was probably at least another ten minutes before the man's hips stalled and he let out a half-shout before spilling himself into Carl's mouth. The boy swallowed down every drop of the man excitedly and rested his chin on one thick thigh while he waited for him to come down from his orgasm. When he did he cocked an eyebrow down at the boy and Carl bit his lip.

"Can... Can I...?" he panted out. 

"You can cum, baby. Cum for Daddy." That was all it took, and with another few short pumps of his hand Carl sat back and came fast and hard onto his own chest. Panting, he didn't wait to be told and with shaky hands scooped up his seed and practically shoveled it into his mouth, licking at his fingers with a satisfied hum and hazy eyes. Negan watched him the entire time with a pleased look on his face before standing up and kicking his jeans off the rest of the way. He pulled his boxer briefs back up and sat back down before patting the seat next to him. "Better?" he asked, amused. 

Carl nodded happily before pulling his own gym shorts back up and flopping back down onto the couch next to the Dominant, snuggling up next to him. Negan buried his face into the boy's hair, pressing a hard kiss into it. Carl knew he'd need a shower soon to get rid of the stickiness but he'd at least let the other male finish his movie first. "Thank you Daddy," he said softly, words falling from his lips almost a little too naturally. 

"You're welcome baby boy. Now watch the rest of this fuckin' movie or I ain't gonna letcha cum the rest of the damn weekend." Carl swallowed at the empty threat. Not knowing if the man was serious or not, he turned his vision back to the tv before a pleased sigh fell from his lips. At least he could focus without that extra tension in his bones now. He actually stayed awake this time, too excited for what the weekend (and probably the future) would bring to fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LITTLE BACKGROUND ON RAMON AND WHERE HE CAME FROM: So I work in a warehouse/factory type place and I have this coworker I've become friends with over the last few months. Well somehow this coworker wheedled it out of me that I was writing a cegan fanfic and instead of being grossed out or rude about it he has actually been incredibly supportive and even interested in it, going so far as to ask me questions and help me form a few plot points I've been struggling with. WELL, my friend and I decided that in order to thank Ramon I should make him a character in the story and thus he was born as an OC this chapter. Ramon knows about his character and we came up with his background and how he fits in and yadda yadda yadda. So forgive me for indulging in myself a little bit there by putting Ramon in but the guy honestly deserved to be a character because he's great. 
> 
> ANYWAY, like I said I really struggled with this chapter and was over all kind of displeased with how it turned out but I hope you still like it! Sorry there wasn't a ton of smut, I wanted to build their relationship a bit more this chapter.
> 
> As always let me know what you think and if you have any comments or questions shoot me a message at cxgan on tumblr!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Negan and Carl debut their relationship to the community with a scene. 
> 
> Alternatively:  
> Negan and Carl take PDA to the next level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JINKIES, GUYS. I know it's only been two weeks since I last updated but it feels like forever??? I'm so sorry it took me so long to crank this little bitch out. I know what you're thinking, "we waited two weeks for this lousy 8k word chapter?" but listen... it honestly was such a pain in the ass to write because I got like, a severe case of writer's block and seriously nothing was coming to me. I had an idea of where I wanted the scene to go but it just... didn't want to write itself. I'm really hoping the next chapter doesn't turn out that way but we'll see. Cross your fingers for me!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for being patient and thank you to everyone who encouraged me along the way. I wouldn't have made it without your guys' help (especially my dear friend and dad, Lady, and Nicotine Anon on tumblr - you guys are the real MVP's). 
> 
> Kink TWs for this scene: boot worship, exhibitionism, spitting, butt plugs, mild somnophilia?

 It had been a month since that horrible first night at Negan's house. A month since their failed hook up when Carl ran and vowed never to even think about the man ever again (sort of ironic how the entire ordeal worked out). In a few days it would mark one month of them being together and honestly it surprised Carl how quickly time seemed to pass between the two of them. 

Weekends were pretty much devoted to each other (much to Kitten's dismay, but she could see him during the week especially since Carl was on a break in between semesters) and the boy couldn't have been any happier about that. Friday night was basically date night, they'd usually go out to eat, watch a movie and sometimes fuck before bed. They always did their scene on Saturday to give them both plenty of recovery time and Sundays were pretty much spent laying in bed and having casual sex all day. With Carl being out of school he usually spent the night on Sunday too and Negan would drop him off at home on Monday morning on his way to work. 

Carl was enjoying the break off of school. He still had work but the occasional shift didn't bother him, if anything it just kept him occupied in the time he wasn't hanging out with Negan or Kitten. This weekend was the last one he had off before he resumed classes on Monday and while Carl really did enjoy school he was starting to wish he had a little more free time. 

On top of it being his last weekend before classes started it was also time for the monthly Clubhouse party and honestly the boy was a little bit nervous. The party would be the debut of his and Negan's relationship to the community and while he knew deep down that it would go well there was still that small chance that someone would disapprove of their relationship. After all, Negan was a coveted community leader and Carl was just a casual member who had only been there a little under two years. He tried not to focus on the semantics of everything. If people were jealous or upset then that would be their problem and Carl would do his best not to take it to heart. 

Friday night was once more spent with Negan. They went to dinner as per usual (Thai food this time, much to the boy's surprise), discussed a scene for the party the next day and headed back to Negan's house. On the car ride there Carl voiced his worries about their relationship debut and Negan clamped his hand down on the boy's thigh and told him not to stress too hard about it. He said the other leaders would be happy for them and that's all that really mattered and Carl agreed. 

The rest of the night was spent like the previous Fridays had been. They watched a movie in the living room and surprisingly Carl kept his hands to himself this time (too distracted with thoughts about the next day). After, however, Negan carried him to the bedroom and made him forget all about his stresses and Carl was pretty sure he was going to have beard rash between his ass cheeks for days. 

Soon enough the party was in less than an hour and Carl stood nervously in front of the mirror in Negan's bathroom, looking himself over. He had a few bite marks and hickeys littering random parts of his skin (both of which he wore very proudly) but other than that his was relatively mark-free, pale skin looking the way it usually did. He was almost disappointed in knowing he wasn't going to be marked up tonight. After doing a couple of last minute preparations (primarily working a decent sized butt plug into his ass that made him gasp out when it finally popped in) he dressed slowly, knowing the clothes wouldn't stay on him for very long after they got to the Clubhouse. 

He stepped out of the bathroom and found the bedroom empty so he moved down the hall after grabbing his backpack, finding the man leaning up against the counter with a glass of some amber colored liquid in his hand and honestly looking like sex come to life. He was wearing his typical party attire - white tshirt, leather vest, leather pants and leather gloves, all topped off with those thick boots that Carl knew he was about to become very well acquainted with. The student seriously had to resist the urge to jump the man's bones right then and there. They had a party to get to, after all. 

"You ready?" Negan asked and Carl hiked his bag further up on his shoulder with a nod. The Dominant set down his glass and sauntered over to the boy, reaching up and fiddling with the padlock on his collar. Carl looked up at him and Negan met his gaze. "It'll be a good time. Still stressin'?" Carl shook his head no and the coach hummed. He wasn't stressed about it anymore, no, but his stomach was still swirling with butterflies and he couldn't seem to shake them. The man was right, though. It would be a good time. They would have fun. "Good," he stated before bending down and pecking Carl on the lips. He moved towards the door then, holding it open for the boy to walk through and Carl waited at the sidewalk for him to finish locking the door. Walking was a little awkward with such a large plug in him but he got used to it pretty quickly. Negan would probably have a hay day with that one if he found out how easily Carl had accepted the insertion as a piece of himself for the night.

The walk to the Clubhouse was short (a perk to the man living right next door) and they both paid their entry fees before walking further into the house, Carl dropping his bag in his usual spot in the first green room. For good measure the boy grabbed the older male's hand (something he was getting more used to doing) and they greeted various friends and acquaintances. He didn't fail to notice the eyes that drifted down between them at their linked hands or the way that Negan's fingers seemed to seek out his own again after he separated to hug someone. A few people even went so far as to ask if they were together, and the older male would hold their hands up proudly and say they were indeed. So far everything was going excceptionally well and honestly Carl felt a little bit silly for being nervous. This was his community. His people. The wonderful individuals that didn't judge or discriminate against anyone. If anyone was jealous or upset by them being together they didn't show it. 

He separated from the man when he saw Kitten on the opposite side of the room they were in. Releasing the leader's hand he practically scampered over to his best friend and hugged her from behind, rocking her back and forth playfully before kissing her on the cheek. "Hey stranger," he said in her ear. It had been an entire week since he had seen her and he had missed the perky blonde. 

"Hey yourself!" she trilled, flipping around in his arms and wrapping her own around his torso. "Where's Negan?" 

"Over there talking to someone I don't know," he said with a thrust of his thumb over his shoulder. "I saw you so I figured I'd come say hi."  

"You guys have anything planned tonight?" she asked curiously with one eyebrow cocked. Carl flushed which probably gave her all the answer she'd need but she still looked at him expectantly. 

"Yeah, duh," he said softly. "What about you? You have anything planned tonight so far?"

"Nah, not yet. I kinda wanna get tied up tonight but haven't found anyone yet. The night is young, though!"

"You'll find someone."

"Always do, right?"

He spent the next hour away from Negan trying to help Kitten find someone to do a rope bondage scene with. It seemed the rope tops were in short supply at that party and she could use all the help she could get. At one point his Dominant came up to him, put a hand on his hip, a finger looped in his collar and muttered in his ear that he was going to the outside smoke house and he expected to see him in there ready in no less than 40 minutes. Carl's throat went dry with nervousness but he nodded nonetheless, quickly taking his phone out and checking the time to make sure he wouldn't be late. 

It only took another twenty minutes to finally find someone to top Kitten for the night, and she hugged him in thanks and he kissed her on the head before moving back to where he had left his bag in the front green room. He slowly undressed where he stood, figuring that going to the bathroom for privacy would be a little pointless when he was going to have to walk through the house practically naked anyway. When he was down to just his collar and a plain black jock strap that he and Negan had decided on for the night he shoved the rest of his clothes in his bag and made his way back through the building.

He had been naked in this house plenty of times for various scenes or even hook ups over the last almost two years so it wasn't that fact that had his guts swirling. It was the fact that this was going to be his and Negan's first public scene together, with people watching. He was no stranger to people watching him during a scene, if anything he kind of enjoyed it (exhibitionism wasn't something he would have ever thought he'd be into, but well, here he was) and he knew he'd enjoy it with Negan, he just had first time jitters. 

The walk to the smoke house in the backyard was short, and he felt a little silly walking out in open air in just a jock strap but soon enough he was pushing the door open to the small building and stepping in. The air was thick with smoke and Carl had to squint in order to see through it. The small shed-like building was only really big enough for at most 15 people. There was a small bar in the corner and chairs surrounding the room. The structure was also where the boot-black stations were in the corner opposite of the bar and one of said stations was currently in use. 

It was a bit crowded which was typical for a Saturday night party - there were probably at least ten or more people crammed into the room, some smoking cigars or cigarettes and others servicing those smoking, holding ash trays or whatever was needed of them. He finally spotted Negan next to the bar sitting in one of the multitude of chairs that littered the room, cigar hanging loosely in his grip as he chatted casually with the bartender. It didn't take long for the man's eyes to meet his and Carl could practically feel the heat in the Dominant's gaze as he moved towards him. 

"There's my boy," he stated proudly, taking a puff off of his cigar before setting it down in the ashtray for a brief moment. "One sec, John," he said with a sniff. Carl approached him and leather clad hands rolled over his smooth body in almost an instant, trailing from his sides to his stomach and then moving down to his hips and finally reaching behind him to grip at his bare ass, yanking him closer until he was standing between Negan's strong thighs. The older male reached up and looped two fingers into the boy's collar before tugging downwards until Carl was settled on his knees in front of him, hands settled atop Negan's thighs. Keeping his grip on the leather around his throat, he tilted the boy's head up and pressed a hard, heated kiss to his lips, causing a soft whiny moan to fall from them. 

Negan pulled back with a chuckle, looking Carl in the eye with enough intensity to start a forest fire. "Gonna be a good boy?" he asked huskily. 

Carl's tongue poked out for a mere second to run along his bottom lip, wanting more but knowing he wasn't going to be given it. He nodded once, slowly, entirely unaware if anyone was looking at them or not. No one else mattered right then, only Negan. "Yes, Sir," he expressed eagerly. 

"Good," was all he said before a gloved hand was tangled in his thick hair and he was forced down further, hands slipping off of Negan's thighs and landing on the cold ground beneath him. Practically crouching at this point, he bent down in front of the Dominant and looked up only long enough to see the man pick his cigar back up. "What're you waitin' for, boy? Them boots ain't gonna clean themselves." Not having to be told twice, Carl bent down even further and licked a path up from the toe of Negan's boot to the top where they rested a few inches above the man's ankle.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting for this. Carl didn't know when exactly he figured out he had a boot kink but if he had to pinpoint a date he would definitely say a few months into his debut into the community. The Dominant he had serviced that night of his discovery really had a thing for his boots and feet being serviced and at first the idea had been weird to Carl but then, well, he kind of fell in love with it. There was something about being at someone's feet, in the boots they wore all day, licking them and taking them into your mouth that made you feel so degraded in the best kind of way. It wasn't the cleanest kink, he knew that, but it wasn't like the footwear was covered in mud or something equally as disgusting. 

Eager to please, he licked along the sole of the boot and polished the top with his flattened tongue before lifting it into the air and basically sucking on the toe. Negan barely paid attention to him and somehow that turned him on even more, made him more wanton for it. Just a little bit desperate for the man's attention. He moaned loudly, not caring who heard him, and licked a stripe from heel to toe along the hard ridges of the bottom. How long had he wanted to do this? Probably even before they had gotten together. He very precisely remembered always admiring how tidy Negan kept his boots - they were always polished and blacked to a pristine shine, and Carl couldn't ever hold back the way his mouth would water at the sight of well taken care of boots. He didn't own a pair himself, and decided right then he should probably invest in some.

He knew he wasn't allowed to touch himself, but his own cock was twitching against the thin material of the jock and it made him squirm. He lapped at the leather of the other man's boots feverishly and finally - fucking _finally_ \- the other man looked down at him with a pleased smirk. "Like that, dontcha, boy? Lickin' my boots like it was your life's fuckin' purpose. Look at him, John - what a good boy." The involvement of the bartender was honestly lost on Carl as he was too deep in his headspace to really care about what anyone else might think. Negan yanked his foot out of the boy's mouth just as Carl began sucking on the toe again and he leaned forward to grab a fistful of the boy's long locks and jerked him forward by it until his face came in contact with a leather-clad crotch. "Let's see what else that mouth can do." 

Had he been in any other frame of mind he would have quipped back that Negan most certainly already knew what his mouth could do but held it back, instead scrambling to undo the other man's belt with shaky fingers. Once it was undone he made short work of the button and zipper and practically surged into the leather pants, one hand grasping the half hard cock and pulling it as well as the man's balls out without pushing down his pants. He looked up at the other male desperately, licking his lips as he begged for permission with his eyes. Negan wasn't looking at him, instead back in his conversation with the bartender and Carl outright whined, pawing at the man's thighs with his hands. Finally the Dominant looked down at him with a cocked eyebrow, nodded once and the boy immediately wrapped his lips around the head of his dick, sucking him into his mouth until pubic hair met his nose. It wasn't quite to the back of his throat yet because the thick length wasn't fully hard, but every stroke of his tongue had it growing until it was finally at full mast.

Carl moaned at the weight on his tongue, eyes rolling back in his head as it bobbed up and down eagerly. One hand stayed on the community leader's thigh while the other wrapped around the base of his cock, pumping him in time with the movements of his mouth. He was very vaguely aware of the words falling from Negan's mouth, mostly focused on the cuss words he would emmit in between his conversation. "Yeah, John, heard about your - f- _fuck_ , baby, just like that - basement flooding." If Carl was fully aware of himself he would have laughed at the fact the man was still trying to hold down the topic. It became almost a game to the boy; trying his best to get the Dominants attention back to himself. He had nothing against John the bartender and this was part of what they'd negotiated but damn if Carl didn't find it mildly frustrating. Negan finally wrapped two fists into Carl's hair and guided him the way he wanted and the boy happily obliged, pulling the man's cock into the back of his throat and taking him even deeper at the pressure on the back of his head. 

He didn't know how long he was at it - honestly he didn't particularly care. Nothing else really seemed to matter right then other than Negan's dick in his mouth and his hands in his hair. He was very aware of his own poor erection straining against the thin material of the jock strap but knew better than to try and pleasure himself right then. The plug in his ass made him absolutely ache for more but his main focus was on the man in front of him.

Eventually Negan seemed to abandon the conversation with John and all of his attention was back on Carl, praising him and saying all manner of filthy things to encourage the boy. He didn't fail to remind Carl they were in a room full of people that were watching them but it really just made the submissive squirm excitedly all the more. He also seemed to have a penchant for inviting people to offer their opinions on how Carl was doing, throwing out "How d'ya think my boy's doin'? Fuckin' natural cocksucker ain't he?" and "Watch this thing he does with his tongue - _fuck_ , that feels like heaven on a god damn cracker." And really, if Carl wasn't snug in his headspace he would have turned as red as a freaking firetruck. 

He sucked until he was pretty confident his jaw was going to fall off and then he sucked some more, wanting to please the other man as much as possible. Every so often he'd pull back panting and Negan would let him have a solid ten seconds before he was shoving his head back down and jamming his cock back into the boy's throat. Saliva and pre-cum was covering the entire lower half of his face at this point but he was too ravenous to care. Hollowing out his cheeks he returned to bobbing his head up and down to find a good rhythm that he knew the man liked. 

At one point Negan pulled him back by the hair and looked him over for a few seconds, Carl mouthing with swollen lips toward the throbbing member that had left the cavern of his mouth. Negan chuckled darkly, one hand releasing from the boy's hair to reach down and run one gloved finger along Carl's bottom lip. Hazy blue eyes latched onto firey hazel ones and he had to swallow thickly. "Lookit you... Been at it for so long and you _still_ want this dick. That's dedication, baby boy. Know what I think?" His grip tightened on the submissive's hair and Carl whined in pain, causing the man to grin mischievously. "I think you're just enjoyin' puttin' on a show for all these good folks. I think you just _love_ showin' 'em how big of a slut for my cock you are. And you are, ain't ya?"

Knowing better than to not speak when he was spoken to, he managed to get out a hoarse, "Yes, S-Sir."

Another velvety huff of laughter that seemed to rumble the Dominant's chest rolled through him and Carl's head was pulled back even further until his neck was craned backward at an awkward angle. "Open your mouth," he commanded with a tap of his thumb on the boy's chin and Carl obeyed, jaw falling slack as he opened his mouth as wide as he could with his jaw aching as much as it was. Negan spit once - and then twice - into his mouth and Carl waited until the gloved fingers pushed his jaw closed again before swirling the additional liquid around on his tongue, enjoying the taste of Negan without actually kissing him. It was an almost weird sensation but not an unenjoyable one. 

"Back to it then, boy," Negan stated while pushing his head back down and Carl had only a few seconds more of being able to relish in the other man's saliva before he was taking his cock back into his mouth again. But Carl didn't really mind. His pre-cum was just as good (if not better) than his spit anyway. "M'close, baby," he warned, bucking his hips up a few times into the boy's ready mouth. "Let's show these fine people just how much you love Daddy's cum." 

Carl moaned eagerly then, picking up the speed of his mouth and hand and working the man over and over until he couldn't breathe anymore. He inhaled impatiently through his nose when he was at the tip before diving back down, taking the thick length into his throat again. Negan's grip tightened on his hair and he knew that was the warning sign the man was about to cum. He pulled back and kept his mouth on the tip while his hand worked the rest of the shaft and he braced himself for the inevitable splash of liquid against his tongue. "Hold it, don't swallow. 'N look at me for fuck sake," Negan ground out through clenched teeth and the second lust blown blue eyes met his he was cumming, hips stuttering with a primal groan as he spilled himself into the boy's mouth. 

Carl did as he was told and held the man's seed in his mouth. Negan's hand went slack in his hair and he reached down to pry open Carl's wet heat with two fingers. The boy parted his lips willingly and let his eyes slip shut as his Dominant practically finger fucked his mouth, the taste of leather pairing perfectly with the cum in an odd sort of way. Two fingers slid along each side of his tongue and he had to close his lips the best he could around them to prevent the cum from dribbling out. He opened his eyes as the fingers were removed and a gruff, "Open your mouth, lemme see it," followed. Carl cupped his tongue the best he could and opened his mouth which caused Negan to hum in satisfaction. "Good boy," he praised and the boy wiggled his ass happily. "Such a good little cumslut. You can swallow now." Obeying almost instantly, the submissive gulped down the warm liquid in pure satisfaction, giving the man an almost innocent looking smile despite the action he'd just performed. 

"So fuckin' cute," Negan muttered before brushing Carl's hair away from his face. "Now, boy, I know you wanna cum..." he trailed off and the boy nodded eagerly, a whine escaping his lips as he resisted the urge to palm at his crotch. Negan took his time, not looking at him as he tucked himself back into his pants and did them as well as his belt up at an excruciatingly slow pace. A thick, booted foot moved between Carl's legs and kicked upward against his balls and the boy winced at the unexpected impact. They weren't extremely sensitive - he'd experienced a fair amount of CBT over the last year and a half to the point they had built up a little bit of resistance - but the initial shock made him cringe. The rough tap turned soothing as the smooth toe of the boot rubbed against the bulge in his jock and the submissive's head fell forward with a gasp of breath, both hands moving up to rest on Negan's thighs to steady himself. 

"You can cum... but no touchin' yourself," he stated and even though he couldn't see it Carl could practically _hear_ the wicked grin in his tone. "You got my leg 'n boot, have at it." 

Even though this of course was something they had negotiated beforehand, Carl wanted to whine that it was unfair. He wanted to break down and beg the man to at least let him use his hand because it was going to take forever if he did it the other way. But he knew that the Dominant wouldn't give him what he wanted and it wasn't like he was anywhere near safewording out of the situation. So really Carl had no other option. Lifting his head, he shot the other male a sharp glare but regretted it almost instantly when a gloved hand wrapped around his chin and forced his gaze upwards. "Look at me like that again and you won't fuckin' cum at all, y'hear me, boy?" Negan growled and Carl knit his eyebrows together before nodding quickly and relaxing his own expression. He hadn't cum in almost a week and prolonging it even more sounded like hell right then with how riled up he already was. "Answer me," he grit out and Carl stammered to speak. 

"Y-Yes Sir. Sorry Sir." 

"Well get to it, then. I ain't got all night." The Dominant sat back and picked up his half smoked cigar again, relighting it as it had been forgotten during the whole ordeal. 

"Sir? Can I..." Carl swallowed. He knew he shouldn't really be making requests after getting snapped at but he had to try. "Can I take it out?"

"Take what out? Use your big boy words, kid." He could tell that the man knew what he was talking about but wanted him to say it nonetheless and Carl flushed. 

"My c-cock," he said softly, biting his bottom lip. Negan nodded his response before pushing his cigar past his lips and puffing on it. 

Carl wasted no time. In seconds his hands were racing down to pull his swollen dick out of the jock strap and he breathed a hiss of relief as it flopped out and onto the warm leather of the man's boot. He made sure to move his hands back up Negan's leg, though, not wanting to get in trouble for any lingering touches. He wrapped his arms around the larger male's knee and basically straddled his leg the best he could, one thigh on either side of the appendage and crotch pressed hard into his boot. Ever so slowly he started to move his hips, gasping at the contact he was so desperate for. He knew people were watching them (Negan was a hot enough commodity in the community that his scenes always had an audience) but really it kind of just encouraged the boy more.

He gradually thrust his hips into the other male, wincing softly as the tender tip of his cock scraped against the shoelaces but kept up his ministrations nonetheless. "There's a good boy," Negan praised and Carl looked up at him just as the other male's free hand moved to tangle in the hair on the side of his head, his forearm pressing into the submissive's cheek. Carl nuzzled at the arm lazily, jaw falling slack as his rutting became much more desperate. Quicker. "Look at _you_ \- humpin' Daddy's leg in front of all these people like the little slut you are. So desperate to cum, aint ya?" Carl nodded frantically and clenched his eyes shut as he continued thrusting, practically holding onto the man's leg for dear life as he pressed all of his weight into him and ground his hips down harder. 

A slick sheen of sweat formed on his back and forehead from the pure exertion but he was no where near ready to stop yet. He wasn't going to stop until he got what he deserved. He heard rather than saw his Dominant puff on his cigar a few more times before he continued speaking. Carl knew he only kept talking to egg the boy on even more, and fuck he honestly loved it. He could listen to the man read the dictionary and probably still be turned on by it. "Haven't let you cum in almost a whole fuckin' week - you poor thing. Just wait until I lock that pretty little cock'a yours up for a month. Bet humpin' my leg to cum wouldn't be so hard then. Fuck, you'd probably cum over a light breeze at that point." Negan snorted and Carl whimpered because he knew he was right. The worst part was Carl _wanted_ it - he wanted to be put in chastity that long. Test his limits. See how long he could go without touching his own cock. The light experimentation they'd done so far was satisfying but it felt like it hadn't been long enough. Two days locked up had started to feel like nothing to Carl and he was eager for more. But that was a topic for another time - right now he was focused on somehow humping hard enough to bring himself to orgasm. 

After a solid ten, maybe fifteen minutes Carl was starting to lose hope. He was rutting more urgently at this point, ignoring the sting and potential rash he was going to get from fucking against the shoelaces so hard but he just needed to cum and it wasn't working. He was getting frustrated. 

But then he did his best to focus on the entire situation at hand. There he was, rutting hopelessly against Negan who was half paying attention to him and half attempting to hold down another conversation with the bartender again. In a room full of people that were no doubt watching him dry hump the man's leg like a fucking dog. That were probably jealous of that fact. He let his headspace wash over him, settle comfortably in the base of his skull, tried to remember every filthy word that had fallen from Negan's mouth and finally, _finally_ he felt himself nearing climax. 

 Damn near soaked with sweat, he turned his head and pressed his lips into the forearm at his cheek and opened his eyes to look up hastily at the other man. "D- _Daddy_ ," he gasped out, breath falling from his lips in pants now as he tried his best to maintain eye contact. "Can I... Can I... C-Cum?" he stumbled through the question, trying his best to keep his momentum on the leg he was wrapped around less he lose the urge to finally go off. 

Negan smirked down at him and tightened his grip in the boy's hair, pulling his cigar out of his mouth to hang loosely between his fingers while he responded. "Yeah, baby, you can cum. Been such a good boy it'd be cruel not to letcha now. Been at this shit for a half an hour. It's about time. Go on, now." 

Truthfully, Carl stopped paying attention to whatever the man was saying past being given an affirmative answer to his question. It only took him a few more hearty grinds and between the pressure of the plug inside of him and the scrape of his cock against the boot he was outright exploding. He came with a half-shout, half-moan as his eyes slid shut and he threw his head back in ecstasy. The only reason he didn't outright fall over was because of the hand in his hair steadying him and the fact he was straddling Negan's leg. He kept thrusting until he physically couldn't anymore, going limp and head falling forward into the Dominant's lap with a soft huff of breath as his hips twitched with the aftershocks. 

Negan gave him a few minutes to recover, laying in his lap and panting as he was. But after those few minutes were over a gloved hand tapped him on the chin and tilted his face up. "Be a good boy and clean up your mess. Can't have my boots lookin' like they are now, can we?" Carl shook his head and slowly sunk back off of the other male. His body was sore -especially his knees - and he could definitely tell he was going to be feeling this tomorrow. But he obeyed nonetheless, tucking himself back in his jock before arching his back and dipping down to clean his own cum off of the leather. He lapped at it greedily, making sure to clean every last drop up off of the shoe. He shouldn't be surprised he came so much after having not cum for almost a week but he was regardless. 

When it was completely cleaned off and Carl was satisfied with his handiwork he moved back into a kneeling position and looked up at the other man expectantly, though his eyes were starting to droop from pure exhaustion. Negan chuckled and placed the small remainder of his cigar back into the ashtray before patting his lap. "C'mere, kid." Without needing any other encouragement Carl scrambled up the other man, curling into him and pressing his nose into the man's neck. Negan reached up to pet his hair while he held him. "Did so good, baby," he murmured, and honestly to Carl nothing else mattered in that moment than the sweet nothing's that spilled from his Dominant's lips. "Just like we planned. Even better than we planned. You shoulda seen the looks on people's faces when you were suckin' and then humpin' me. It was hot as hell." Carl blushed then, a sure sign he was coming down from subspace. He could hardly believe he did all of that in a room full of people. Carl couldn't really respond - he always had a hard time speaking when he came out of a scene - but he knew that Negan knew that and wouldn't rush him. 

That was how they sat for the next thirty minutes - Carl wrapped up in the man's arms while he whispered over and over again how good he had been. At some point Negan procured a water bottle (how exactly Carl did not know) and pressed it to the boy's lips and he drank gratefully. Everyone in the room left them alone, knowing that aftercare was an important part of a scene not to be interrupted. 

Even though the scene hadn't left any physical bruises or marks on the boy it was still pretty intense. He'd never gone that far with exhibitionism before and honestly it was a little bit intoxicating. And embarrassing. But that was to be expected. 

Eventually Negan picked him up and Carl squeaked at the sudden movement. They moved back into the house to one of the green rooms and Carl was appreciative of the plush couch he was set down on. It soothed his aching body and the warmth of the room just added to the fact. A throw blanket was put over him and he sighed contentedly before reaching up for the other man with grabby hands. Negan laughed lightly and pulled his gloves off before settling down on the couch next to him. Immediately Carl snuggled back into him and Negan returned to running his hand through the boy's locks and the submissive had to admit he preferred feeling the warmth of the man's fingers to the leather that typically covered them.

Another water bottle was procured (and he just assumed at this point Negan was either magic or having someone bring them to him) as well as the infamous chocolate bar and Carl busied himself with ingesting both of them, trying his best not to outright fall asleep mid-chew. A rough kiss was placed to his forehead and Carl was very vaguely aware that the man had started speaking. Not to him, given how low he was talking (almost as if he were trying not to disturb the boy) but Carl didn't mind. He was too tired to care and he knew that socializing was important to Negan as a community leader. 

At some point he found himself blinking awake a few times and groaning. When had he fallen asleep? He was happy to find he was still tucked into Negan's side, the man tracing lazy shapes into his skin as he spoke to someone Carl hadn't met before. Yawning, Carl did his best to stretch in the position he was in before slipping his eyes shut again and resting his head back on the other male's chest, letting the vibrations of his speech soothe him. "Carl? Carl?" he realized on the third uttering of his name that the man was speaking to him and he tiredly blinked his eyes open again before pulling back to look at him. "You ready to go home?" Home. Well, to Negan's place. But it was very quickly becoming a home to the boy too. 

"M'Yeah," he stated sleepily and Negan finally moved, sitting up and shaking the hand of the guy he was speaking to before standing up. 

"Stay here for a sec, gonna say goodbye to some people." Carl nodded and let his head fall back against the couch. 

By the time Negan returned he had fallen back asleep again and the only thing that did jostle him was the man attempting to dress his useless body. He did his best to help him, lifting his arms for his shirt and attempting to lift his hips for his gym shorts (thank god he had packed them and thank god Negan had found them, putting on jeans right then seemed almost impossible) but soon enough he was dressed. Now in a sitting position, he swayed back and forth with droopy eyes and he very faintly heard Negan chuckle at him. "C'mon, sugar." And then he was being lifted into the other male's arms. Part of him felt bad for how much dead weight he must have been right then but he also knew Negan could handle it. He didn't have those strong arms just for show.

He'd feel bad about not saying bye to Kitten in the morning but for right now all he wanted to do was sleep. He dozed in the man's arms during the short walk back to Negan's house (it really was convenient as all hell that he lived right next door) and whined when he was set down for a moment so the man could unlock the front door. But he swooped him back up again and closed the door behind them, immediately carrying Carl to the bedroom and laying him on the bed. Negan disappeared for only a moment and sometime later Carl felt pressure on his forehead. Opening his eyes slowly he found dark hazel ones staring right back at him and he blinked. "You need anything?"

"Too hot," Carl complained, pulling at his own t-shirt. Negan scoffed and pulled back to help him out of his clothes, even going to far as to pull the jock off despite the fact it was barely even any material. Carl's legs flopped open and something caught Negan's eye, making him quirk a brow as he got closer to investigate. Somewhere along the line the Dominant had entirely forgotten they'd agreed to Carl wearing a butt plug. He figured the boy would have taken it out after the scene but clearly not, and there was a pang in the older man's chest at the fact he probably should have been the one to remember. 

Bending Carl's legs at the knees to get a better view, he reached out and tugged experimentally on the base of the plug. Carl, still half asleep, moaned despite himself and half-heartedly wiggled his hips. Negan would be lying if he said that didn't send a rush of blood to his own groin. He tugged on the plug again, eliciting another moan before it popped free with a gentle squelching noise from the lube used to put it in in the first place. He let it fall to the floor and bit his lip as he just admired his boy's semi-loose hole. He ran his thumb over it before re-positioning his hand and pressing two fingers into him with absolute ease. The plug was probably about the size of three of his fingers so he added another one, not surprised when it slid in without any difficulty. "So fuckin pretty..." 

Carl whined above him, grinding down on the digits pushing into him and Negan wondered just how much he could get away with. Keeping his fingers seated inside of the boy, he stood up and leaned over him, pressing a harsh kiss to the submissive's jawline. "You want Daddy to fuck you, sugar? Just like this? All worn out and tired, fallin' asleep? I bet it'd wake you right the fuck up."

The boy sniffed and didn't open his eyes but Negan knew he wasn't entirely asleep. Mostly, but not entirely. "Mmmyeah," Carl managed to get out and the Dominant curled his fingers, causing the boy to yelp and bite down on his bottom lip. 

The soft admission of consent was all Negan needed to motivate him. He pulled off (and out) of the boy and undressed quicker than he ever had before, cursing whoever invented leather pants for how difficult they were to get off in a rush. He laid them as well as his vest across the chair in his room (proper leather care was still important) before discarding the rest of his clothes on the ground. Two things he was grateful of in that moment: no need to prep the boy and no need to scramble for a motherfuckin condom. His dick was already mostly hard in his hand and it only took a few more pumps to get him entirely hard. He reached over to the bedside table and pumped a few squirts of lube into his hand (also grateful for pump nozzles. Damn he was grateful tonight - it was like motherfuckin Thanksgiving) before spreading it across himself and stood at the side of the bed, positioning himself against the boy's loose hole. Carl appeared to have fallen back asleep again but he pushed forward nonetheless, a primal groan ripping from his chest as he buried himself entirely into the boy. 

Carl seemed to have awoken at that, because he looked up at Negan with half-lidded eyes and mouth fallen into a delicate 'o' shape. Negan honestly didn't know if he'd ever seen his boy look more beautiful than he did in that moment. After burying himself to the hilt he reached down and wrapped his fist around Carl's own half-hard cock, pumping him lazily and matching time with his own thrusts. He fucked him slowly, not in a rush or with an intense desire to go rough for once in his life. He knew Carl was tired and hell, he was too. Damn him for being unable to resist this fine specimen of a being in his bed. "That good, baby? Hmmmm? You fallin' asleep on my cock?" 

Carl whined his response, eyes still closed and clearly very sleepy but definitely at least half-awake. Awake enough to respond to the length fucking into him. Negan kept his thrusts up, pleased as punch at how hard the kid was in his grasp and his free hand moved to steady on the boy's hip. He fucked him methodically, almost agonizingly slow and soon it wasn't enough. He needed to go faster or he was never going to cum. "Harder," the small voice that read his thoughts below him came, and Negan looked down at the squinted eyes staring back at him, one forearm thrown over the boy's face and jaw slack. "P-Please, Daddy?" 

"Ain't gotta tell me twice, darlin'," Negan replied as he picked up his pace and fucked into the boy more earnestly, snapping his hips into him until the only sounds that filled the room were the dull slap of skin on skin, Negan's grunts and Carl's whimpers. "Cum when you're ready - no need t'ask," the older male muttered. He was close to his own orgasm anyway and didn't want to hold the boy back whatsoever. Carl had more than earned a second climax for the night. 

Another few long, hard thrusts into the boy had Carl spilling over Negan's hand and his own stomach with a strangled noise and clenched eyes. The feeling of the boy tightening around his cock had the older male following soon after, one final shove into him from tip to base had his hips stuttering with a shout as he emptied himself inside of the boy. He took a few moments to compose himself, looking a thoroughly disheveled Carl over before lifting his cum-covered knuckles up to the submissive's mouth. The boy still had his eyes closed but he was breathing in a way that told the man he was mostly awake so he offered a gruff, "Open," and pushed his fingers into his mouth when he complied. 

Carl lapped lazily at the digits, reaching up with a shaky hand to grasp onto the older male's wrist so he could hold him there. He opened his eyes halfway and released the man's arm only for Negan to scoop up the rest of his cum on his belly and feed it to him. Once the mess was relatively cleaned up (Carl knew they'd both need a shower at some point but figured they could at least doze for a little while first) Negan leaned over him and pressed a hearty kiss to the boy's mouth, tongue sneaking past his lips to taste what he'd just consumed. He kissed him back for a good long minute or two before pulling away and pushing his forehead into Negan's. "Can we go to bed now?" he asked quietly, voice hoarse and tired. 

Negan chuckled and nodded in response. "Yeah, sugar. We can sleep now." Carl felt strong arms snake around his torso before he was picked up and situated the right way onto the bed, head resting on the pillows. Carl was mostly asleep almost instantly as the covers were pulled out from under him and pushed over him, but it wasn't until he felt Negan settle in the bed next to him and wrap his burly arms around the boy did he let it consume him. He wiggled against the chest at his back as Negan buried his face into the student's hair and Carl pulled the older male's hands against his chest and held them there. 

He very faintly heard a muttered, "You're such a good boy, Carl. My good boy," before he slipped into unconsciousness, soft smile toying at his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT. It feels like it ended in a rush but I seriously cannot express to you just how much I physically and emotionally needed to be done with this chapter. They originally weren't even going to fuck it was going to end right after they got home... But then Carl was too cute all sleepy and it turned Negan on and I couldn't resist. 
> 
> I also apologize for the weird POV swap during the fucking. There's like a few paragraphs where it switches to Negan's POV because Carl was mostly asleep and it would have felt weird writing from his POV? Like what was I supposed to put? "Very sleepy yawn yawn snore snore oh suddenly I'm being fucked" just didn't seem to work out. I also get extremely weird writing in Negan's POV because this story is from Carl's and I feel like I don't do Negan justice tbh but hopefully it wasn't too cringeworthy and y'all still enjoyed it.
> 
> Also I know some people are gonna be disappointed that I haven't really touched on the chastity bit yet, but we'll get there, my friends. Trust me. 
> 
> Okay, I'll stop rambling and shut up now but anywho, thank you all so much for reading! I truly hope that next chapter doesn't take me as long as this one did but honestly I can't make any promises because I don't know if the writer's block bug has fully left me or not (yikes). I will try not to let it be more than two weeks though. We'll just have to see how it works out. Any updates I post on Nicotine will be tagged 'nicotine;' (with the semicolon) on my tumblr so if you're ever like 'where the hell did he go?' just check that out and it'll answer that question.
> 
> As always, your comments, questions and kudos fuel my fire and if you have any of them feel free to shoot me a message over at cxgan on tumblr!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carl doesn't use his more northern head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen none of you can hate me more than I hate myself for how long this took me to write. I've been dealing with some shit personally and writing has just not been on the forefront of my mind. But by some miracle I was able to finally get this out. I'm so sorry it took so long and I hope everyone forgives me. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful Nicotine Anon (I'm so sorry you had a bad week) and my dad, Lady. Both of y'alls endless encouragement and praise keeps me going. Thank you both so much. 
> 
> [TW for this chapter: chastity, punishment]

 By the beginning of the third week (of a month long stint) in chastity, Carl was about ready to die. 

Okay, so maybe that was a bit of a dramatic response to his current situation. But truthfully the boy had gone maybe two or three days here or there without jerking off since he was 13. Obviously that had increased to almost a week when he wound up with Negan. But even then the man had still let him cum during the weekend. Oh how that had changed.

He had to remind himself that this is what he wanted. He had been the one to approach his Dominant saying that he wanted to try going for an extended period of time in chastity because he had enjoyed what they had tried so far. Negan had agreed to it of course (it was rare the man didn't agree to whatever Carl wanted). The first few times they had tried it over the period of a weekend. Carl found it exceptionally frustrating and even difficult to deal with sometimes, but the older man still rewarded him with internal orgasms for doing such a good job and the boy had decided as long as those weren't taken away from him he could handle it. 

Yet while it was frustrating and difficult, Carl found himself drawn to it at the same time. While Negan still had kept him in sort of a mental chastity beforehand (not being able to touch or cum without permission) it was entirely different to physically having your cock locked up in a plastic cage where it was literally impossible to get hard. Not only was it impossible, it was outright uncomfortable and sometimes even painful when his body wanted all of the blood in his being to rush south. 

The first time they tried extended chastity was two weeks after the August Clubhouse party (it had taken Carl a week to sum up the courage to ask even though he felt ridiculous for waiting so long when he finally did) and they had agreed on trying it out for a week to see if Carl could adjust to having it on in his day to day life rather than only in their kinky little sanctuary they created for themselves on the weekends. 

At first it was... odd. For the first few days he was always constantly aware of the cage. The way it felt in his jeans, the way it rubbed up against his leg, the way it _looked_ in his jeans, even. He was irrationally paranoid someone was going to notice and comment on it - a coworker or classmate, anyone - and even went so far as to using the stall in the restroom rather than stand at the urinal. But really all of that combined sort of just excited the boy more than anything. Deep down he knew that realistically even if someone _did_ notice a more prominent bulge in his pants they weren't going to comment on it. But at the forefront of his mind was that delicious tickle of humiliation that teased his insides. He never thought he'd be the kind of person that would be into such blatant (and borderline public) humiliation but here he was, wearing a freaking cock cage to work and class every day like it was his one purpose in life. After a few days he got pretty used to feeling the weight of it between his legs and it was almost like second nature.

The seemingly constant texts from Negan regarding the matter of him being locked up just made him even more embarrassed though, which in turn would make his dick strain against the thick plastic surrounding it and he would have to excuse himself to the nearest restroom so he could paw at it helplessly. As if holding it in his hands and running his fingers along the plastic would make his will to form an erection go away. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it made it worse. 

The texts seemed never ending, though. At least five times a day he'd receive something along the lines of **_'How's that locked up cock doing, baby boy?'_** or _**'Damn, jerked off twice this morning. Felt so fuckin good. Sucks pretty bad that you can't, huh?'** _ And of course Negan demanded picture check ups during the day. Even if Carl was at work, he would have to go to the restroom and take the picture requested less he get in trouble. The older man understood that the boy wouldn't disrupt his classes for it, but he'd obey the second he got out if a demand had come in the middle of one. 

But truthfully, the worst part(s) (aside from the picture demands and the teasing) were the pictures Negan sent him in return. Sometimes they were relatively innocent: a selfie of the man sitting in his office, one finger looped around the loose chain around his neck that hung the key that had locked Carl up in the first place, tongue sticking out and winking. It honestly made the boy both giddy with pleasure and some overwhelming emotion he didn't know how to process yet that the man wore his key around his neck all day. It wasn't nearly as symbolic as something like Carl's collar - it wasn't 'bestowed' upon him or given in some sort of ceremony signifying their relationship - but nonetheless it made warmth spread throughout Carl's belly that in a way part of him was with the other man at all times.... even if that part was his own desperate release. 

But anyway. Back to the pictures. Other times they... weren't so innocent. Carl was never really prepared for the alarming amount of dick pictures he received from Negan throughout the day (honestly he didn't know how the man got hard so many times during waking hours and _didn't_ cum. What was he, crazy? Probably.) but he also wasn't complaining about them either. He just learned to check his texts from the man a little more discreetly and definitely not in view of his co-workers. Nonetheless, the sight of the man's thick length resting in the Dominant's hand (making said hand look almost tiny compared to it, and he knew Negan's hands _definitely_ weren't small) never failed to make Carl's mouth water and his own poor cock twitch within its confines. Once he tried to quip back that if he wasn't locked up he could send the other man a picture like that and Negan had responded with something like, **_'Don't be silly. Little boy cocks should stay safe and locked up.'_** and the boy had abandoned trying again after that. He could protest or try to wheedle his way out with words all he wanted but he knew Negan wouldn't go for it. 

Yes, that first week of 'extended chastity' had definitely set a precedent for what was to come (or rather, not cum, harhar) if Carl so chose to continue being locked up for longer. Negan had rewarded him extensively for making it the week he had, practically kept him hard for an entire two days and fucked him whenever he had the chance. And honestly it had been absolutely heaven. After not even able to get a boner for an entire week the release he felt that weekend had borderlined on overstimulating. Not to mention the pure bliss he felt the moment the cage had been removed. He had been almost embarrassed that he formed an immediate erection but Negan didn't act surprised at all. 

But that Sunday after a wild two days of orgasms and fucking (to the point the boy felt almost selfish with how much he had been allowed to cum), Carl had had a proposition: an entire month in chastity. Negan had cocked an eyebrow at him and asked him if he was sure, and Carl nodded and swallowed thickly before finally getting out that he was positive. Sure, it would be grueling. And absolute hell. But if the weekend after being locked up for only a week was any indicator of the reward he'd get after being caged for an entire month, it was so going to be worth every awful second of it. 

Or well, so he originally thought. 

It was Saturday morning - two days into his third week of being locked up without so much as a thought of being let free being tossed his way. His third week of being teased relentlessly. Of being humiliated beyond anything he had ever felt before. And sure, while the internal orgasms he had been given the night before made it a little better (and had made him cum so intensely he lost his damn vision for a few minutes) it just wasn't the same as a fist wrapped around his aching cock. It was almost disappointing. Because while he still came (a whole lot, might he add - so much more than he ever did by just jerking off that it was almost weird) and it was great and relieving, it didn't stop his poor dick from practically bursting for contact within its confines. 

He had been woken up that morning by a nose nudging into his temple and soft words whispered into his ear. "Gotta go back to campus and pick up some shit I forgot, baby boy. I'll be back." And Carl had waved him off sleepily before settling back down into the pillows. However, the almost immediate strain between his legs after waking up made him unable to even fully close his eyes. Morning wood was something Carl had always had. Regardless if he was dreaming about something sexual or something awful, he almost always woke up with a boner. And it was always worse when he was in Negan's presence and bed. Today was no exception. Only, of course, this time instead of his body being free to grow his erection to whatever strength it wanted, it was trapped beneath a thick layer of plastic. 

Carl whined in pain, flipping onto his back and practically ripping the blanket off of himself the moment Negan was out the door. He yanked his boxers down to his thighs and stared hopelessly at his caged cock. At this point his dramatic ass felt like he didn't even remember what it looked like. Two weeks had felt like two years and he was ready to explode. 

Then he got an idea. 

A really, _really_ horrible idea. 

An idea so bad that deep down he knew it was horribly wrong, but he was desperate enough to probably do it. 

And he didn't have much time to do it either. 

He had been given a key. " _For emergencies when I'm not with you only_ ," Negan had stated very specifically as he had pressed it into the boy's palm. Carl kept it in one of the small pockets on the front of his backpack and hadn't touched it since it had been put there. He knew better than to disobey his Dominant. ...Or did he?

He leaped out of the bed faster than he ever had before, tripped out of his boxers and raced down the hallway. He checked one of the front windows and bit his lip as he watched Negan's car pull out of the driveway. Okay. He had to break it down really quick.  It was a 20 minute drive to campus. Then a 10 minute walk to Negan's office (depending on where he parked, but it was Saturday so parking would be optimal). 5 minutes give or take a few in the office. Another 10 minute walk and then 20 minutes back. So he had an hour. 

He could do this. It would be fine. It wasn't like Negan had cameras in his house (right? _Right_? Okay no that was the paranoid and guilty side of him doing the thinking) and it would be quick. He'd probably be done with it in like ten minutes and be asleep again by the time Negan got back. Everything would work out perfectly. He just had to somehow calm his breathing down and try not to freak out before he even got there. 

He pulled the key out of the pocket in his backpack and moved quickly back down the hall to the bedroom, the metal pressing into his skin like hot iron. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. It was a betrayal of trust. A moment of true weakness. The breaking of an agreement. But in that moment he felt like he truly _needed_ to. Deserved to. So after sitting on the edge of the bed and holding his caged junk in one hand and the key in the other and staring at them both for a solid few minutes, he justified it enough to himself that he pushed the key into the small padlock on the device and unclasped it, leaving the key inside as he set it down next to him on the bed. He could go back still. He didn't have to go through with it. He could put the lock back on and hide the key and pretend he never even thought about it. But freedom was so close he could taste it. 

He found his hands moving before his mind could and he gradually eased the plastic off of his cock. As the cage was pulled off of his length it hardened almost immediately which made Carl release a breath of relief followed by a hiss of pleasure. He set the outer part of the cage down next to the padlock and pumped himself lazily once, twice, and then he was entirely hard and throbbing in his grasp. He pulled the rest of the device off quickly (trying his best not to get frustrated when he couldn't get the part that went around his balls off for a second) before returning his attention back to the pulsating flesh in his hand. 

A tiny voice in the back of his mind was scolding him, doing its absolute best to try and get him to put the cage back on himself and pretend none of this ever happened. And the worst part was he tried to reason with said voice. Told it that he couldn't get it back on now even if he tried. He'd have to think about some pretty horrible stuff in order to get his erection to go down and even then he was pretty sure he'd been pent up long enough that that wouldn't even work. A pang of guilt rocked his chest at what Negan might think of him if he saw him right now. No. He couldn't think about that. He just needed to focus on getting rid of his boner and putting the device back on. Negan would never even find out. Could he keep that big of a secret from the man? Honestly Carl didn't know, but he was going to have to find out. It felt like there was no turning back at this point.

So he let pleasure overwhelm him instead. It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. Forget about your problems and betrayals in favor of stroking your own dick. Made sense at the time. 

He leaned back on the bed, propping himself up on one elbow as he used his other hand to languidly stroke himself. He moaned loudly, eyes slipping shut and mouth falling slack as he moved. Pleasuring himself felt almost foreign at this point. It felt like he hadn't done this in years not just weeks. He pulled his hand back only long enough to lick a path from the base of his palm to the tip of his fingers and returned to his ministrations, a soft whimper falling from his lips at the now slick contact of his hand. 

At a certain point he decided it wasn't enough. He needed more stimulation. Cumming these days just wasn't the same when he didn't have something buried in his ass (more specifically Negan's cock but he couldn't exactly have that right now) even when he was simply jerking off. Before Negan he had no problem getting off with just his hand on his dick but he'd grown greedy at this point. He knew he didn't have much time therefore toys weren't really an option, so carefully he climbed back onto the bed and rested his back against the headboard. 

After slicking two fingers up with spit, he propped one knee up so he could snake his free hand around his thigh and press said digits into the soft ring of muscle between his cheeks. It wasn't the best angle but he didn't have much of a choice. He pushed them in slowly, gasping at how easy they slid in thanks to the fact Negan had woken him up just a few hours ago to fuck him. He was still dripping with the man's seed and he whined at that fact. The man really did own him in every single way and that fact spurred him on even more (even though it should have had the opposite effect), digging his fingers deeper into himself as his other hand pumped desperately. 

He was so close. He was right on the edge of spilling all that he had and his head fell back against the wood of the headboard as he was reduced to panting. "D-Daddy... please... C-Can I...?" He could almost hear his Dominant's voice in his head, coaxing him into his climax with soothing words and heated touches as he aggressively fucked into him. Carl's hips stuttered and he whimpered. He was right there, just a few more pumps and -

The sound of the door creaking open halted his every movement and his eyes snapped open. They widened in pure horror as his brain caught up to what they were seeing. No. He wasn't supposed to be back for at least another 45 minutes. It hadn't been that long. It was all supposed to work out. Negan was never even supposed to know. And yet here he was, standing in all his glory in the doorway, one hand still tightened around the doorknob in a fierce grip. 

For a moment the two men just stared at one another, both red in the face for very different reasons. Carl in pure unadulterated guilt and Negan looking like he was ready to punch a hole in the wall. Or punch a hole through Carl. The boy honestly didn't know which one he preferred but he knew whatever happened he deserved it. 

Carl was the first one to make a move. He pulled his hands off and out of himself as if they'd burned him (and well, they kind of had). He held them up immediately, palms facing forward in a plea of innocence before he finally found his voice. "I'm sorr-"

" _You little motherfucker_ ," Negan snarled as he cut him off and barreled down at him with lightning force. Carl had the audacity to screech and try and scramble away from him. He knew he needed to face the consequences of his actions but damnit the man was outright terrifying when he was angry. He hadn't seen the full force of Negan's anger yet and he cursed inwardly at himself for being the cause of it. Damn him and his inability to use his brain rather than thinking with his dick. 

Negan caught him by the arm just as he was attempting to scuttle off of the opposite side of the bed and he was pulled down. Tears almost immediately sprang to Carl's eyes as a tight fist wrapped into his hair and he was yanked off of the bed and onto his knees on the carpeted floor. "I'm s-sorry!" he tried to get out, voice raw and choked, but it was a hopeless effort. 

Negan seemed to pause at his words, though, and for a second the boy thought maybe he had accepted his apology that quick. Oh how wrong he was. The older male shot him the harshest glare Carl had ever seen and quite honestly it made him feel two inches tall. The grip on his hair tightened and he did his best not to wince. Usually he liked his hair being pulled but there was a different animosity hidden behind it this time that scared him more than anything. "Don't feed me that bullshit, Carl. You ain't fuckin' sorry for what you did. You're sorry you got _caught_ ," Negan spat, each word that fell from his lips like another nail in Carl's proverbial coffin. 

"N-No!" he pleaded, tears streaking his face as he looked up at the other man. Just looking at Negan's angry expression hurt but he knew he had to face this. "I r-really am sorry, I didn't - I don't - I d-don't know what I -"

"Was thinkin'? You weren't. You were thinkin' with your god damn dick. Nah, you ain't sorry, but you fuckin' will be." And with that the man turned and dragged Carl behind him by his hair. The boy barely had the time to clamber onto his feet as he was pulled into the bathroom. Pure horror made its way onto Carl's face as he realized what was coming. 

"No! No, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I won't! I'm so -" he choked on the word, sobs heaving his chest as he buried his face into his hands. "So sorry," he wept. 

Negan didn't respond to his pleas and deep down Carl knew there was no getting out of this. He had fucked up. Majorly. And he would view himself as less of a person if he didn't go through with his punishment. He had betrayed the trust he had been working so hard to build up over the last two months and he felt like everything was ruined. 

The sound of the shower door opening and the water turning on made him finally look up and he was met with a stone cold glare as he glanced between the shower and the man next to him hopelessly. "Get. In." Negan growled, one thick hand shoving at his back. Carl stumbled forward and whimpered as he stepped one foot into the enclosed space. He tried looking back at the other man one last time but was met with only malice and he knew there was no going back. 

If his boner hadn't been gone already it would have surely disappeared the moment the icy cold water hit his body. He practically shrieked out and flipped back around just as the shower door was shut rather hastily. He pressed his hands against the glass as tears fell freely from his eyes. The water was absolutely frigid and after a few moments of the cold stream Carl found himself crumbling onto the floor of the shower. He stayed under the frosty jet, knowing he would probably be yelled at some more if he moved away from it. He wrapped his arms around his legs and pressed his face into his knees as sobs wracked his entire frame. 

"FUCK!" he heard Negan shout from outside the shower, followed by the sound of what had to be him slamming his hand into the glass. "You think I fuckin' _like_ this, you stupid brat?! You think I _want_ to do this to you? You left me with no fuckin' choice, Carl. You broke three god damn rules pullin' the shit you just did. Don't you fuckin' get that? How am I supposed to trust you? Can't leave you alone with a few simple fuckin' rules without you thinkin' with your dick behind my back. How do I even know that that's the only time you've done this shit? FUCK! DOES ANY OF THE SHIT I SAY MATTER TO YOU, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE?!" The final sentence was punctuated with another hard slam against the glass that made the boy hiccup back a choked noise. Carl knew the man wasn't expecting an answer, but god did he desperately want to reply. Even though he was angry and yelling and seriously downright terrifying, Carl wanted to comfort him. Because he could look past the mask of anger and see that in all reality Negan was _hurt_. And it was all Carl's stupid fault. 

And fuck, did his words _sting_ , too. He knew he had no one to blame but himself and he knew he deserved every ounce of rage and harsh word thrown at him. Because Negan was right. He had betrayed him. He had betrayed both of them. What they had been working to build together. He was so unbelievably disgusted with himself that all he could do was cry and try not to focus on the way his teeth started to chatter after being under the cold water so long. His skin was starting to grow numb to it and he was upset with that fact too. He deserved so much worse than just a simple stupid cold shower. He was worthless. A true bug on the windshield of life. He didn't deserve Negan, he never had. He was stupid to think that he was worth someone like the wonderful man he had betrayed. 

All of this because he was an idiot who couldn't wait just two weeks longer to cum. And he wasn't even entirely deprived - Negan had been so generous and given him so many internal orgasms. He had praised Carl and told him how good he'd been doing. He was just an absolute dumb ass who wanted to play with his dick more than he wanted to follow his own rules. And now he was paying for it. 

He was too busy crying and wallowing in self pity to notice the shower door opening and the stream shutting off. He was still shivering and tucked in on himself and his entire being flinched when he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. "C'mon, you'll get pneumonia or some shit," Negan's voice coaxed him. It was much softer than it had been before and Carl was confused. Wasn't he still mad at him? He deserved to be kept in the shower for as long as the other man wanted regardless if it made him sick. He fucked up so bad. Carl sniffled and nodded, pulling his head off of his knees and taking the hand that was held out for him. Staggering, he finally managed to get to his feet and stepped out of the enclosed space with a little help. 

He was still shivering and breathed an intense sigh of relief when a fluffy towel was wrapped around his shoulders. Negan didn't say anything and Carl didn't look up at him. He didn't feel like he had earned a glance at the man's face. Well, that and he was terrified at what he might find. He dried his hair the best he could and finished toweling off the rest of himself and it was then he noticed two things. The first was that he was still shaking despite the fact he was definitely warmed up by now, and the second was the fact that Negan almost seemed to be hovering around him. He was leaned up against the bathroom counter and would sigh every few seconds like he was going through some big internal debate with himself. Carl didn't ask what was on his mind. He knew. 

"Get back in there and put it back on. I'd do it myself but I might rip your dick off with how I'm feelin' right about now. I'll be there in a sec." The visual was enough to make Carl gulp and he nodded softly before wrapping the towel further around himself and stepping back into the bedroom. He sat on the bed, the towel pooling around his sides as he swallowed and picked the chastity device back up off the bed. Very carefully he moved through putting it back on -  making sure not to leave any lingering touches on himself lest he get hard again in the middle of trying to cram his dick into the tiny plastic mold. He didn't trust his body to not act on its own accord and he wasn't taking any chances. 

He sat there awkwardly for a moment when Negan didn't return immediately. He didn't know what to do with himself, really. He didn't even know if he should get dressed or stay there naked. He opted to at least put on some underwear and pulled on the pair of boxers from the floor that he had discarded in his rush to break the rules. Swallowing thickly, he stared down at his bare feet pressing into the carpet, flexing his toes into the material and trying his best to distract himself away from the situation at hand. 

But his distraction didn't last long as his thoughts were interrupted by a fierce sigh coming from behind him (near the bathroom door). Carl bit his lip and turned where he sat on the edge of the bed only to find Negan standing there, hand over his face and looking like a frustrated owner who wasn't sure what to do with their disobedient pet. He didn't say anything and instead waited for the man to move. When he finally did he pulled his hand away from his face and moved to walk around the bed, finding a place next to Carl on the edge of it. Carl kept his gaze to the floor until the man spoke. "Carl, look at me," Negan stated gruffly. The second his eyes met the other man's his own welled with tears again. Negan looked like he had aged five years in the last thirty minutes and the boy knew it was his fault. The older male frowned and tilted his head to the side before reaching upwards, and Carl felt like an absolute idiot for flinching right before a thick hand was pressed into his cheek. A calloused thumb wiped a few of his tears away and he sniffled but didn't look away. 

"I ain't gonna sugarcoat it: you've really disappointed me here, kid." Carl's face scrunched up but he held back a sob that threatened to bubble out of his mouth. "You've been such a god damn angel I didn't think you had the balls to disobey me, point blank." He shrugged one shoulder and exhaled heavily, the hand not on Carl's cheek resting on the boy's thigh. "Your punishment doesn't end with the shower. Y'ain't allowed to play any of those video games y'like for at least a month." Carl hiccuped, bottom lip quivering and Negan's hand fell from his face in favor of running across his own, scratching at his beard. "And I ain't gonna fuck ya in the ass for a month either." Carl couldn't hold back his whimper at that, more silent tears falling down his cheeks as he took in a shuddered breath. "That fair?" Carl wanted to argue with him, whine that _no, it wasn't fair_ and beg him to at least take the last part of the punishment off. But at the same time he knew he deserved it. He had broken three rules, just like Negan had said. And if anything this punishment seemed a little light compared to others he had heard about. Regardless, he knew he needed to accept the consequences of his actions. He nodded shakily with another soft sniff and Negan sighed. "Use your words, kid."

"Y-Yes," Carl managed to stammer out with another curt nod. "Yes Sir, it's f-fair." He bit his bottom lip and his gaze flickered from the other man's eyes down to his chest and then back up again. His face broke at that point, scrunching up in a twisted expression as a sob fell from his mouth. "I'm s-so s-sorry," he blurted out through howls, face falling into his hands as his body shook. He couldn't look at his Dominant anymore. Couldn't stand to feel the disappointment radiating off of him in waves any longer. "D-Don't hate me," he whimpered out. 

"Oh, baby, no. C'mere," he heard Negan whisper as strong arms wrapped around his smaller body and pulled him toward a broad chest. Carl wept on, reaching up to grab a fistful of the other man's shirt and clinging to him like his life depended on it. Negan rubbed circles into the boy's back and waited until he had calmed down before speaking again. "Who said anything about hatin' ya? You fucked up, sure, 'n like I told ya I'm disappointed - but that don't mean I suddenly hate you." Carl nodded weakly, feeling a little ridiculous for saying that in the first place. Disappointment didn't equal hate, but he'd been so used to feeling hated during punishments with Mark that he felt like that was normal. "But Carl, the thing is, if you were that frustrated and havin' a hard time with the chastity, ya coulda told me. We coulda talked about it and maybe avoided this whole thing all together. Ain't no shame in safewording, y'know. I respect that shit. You realize that right?"

Carl was so taken aback by the statement. Why _hadn't_ he gone to Negan in the first place? He was right, this entire ordeal could have been avoided if he had just sucked it up and told the man he was having a hard time. Was it his pride that kept him from safewording? Something in his chest told him that that wasn't the case. "I guess... I just..." He exhaled a shaky breath and his bottom lip quivered though he did his best to keep it together. "I was just scared," he admitted quietly, voice barely above a whisper. "Eventually...." he swallowed. "Mark just stopped caring if I safeworded. He ignored it and kept going, even if it was an intense scene or something more chill like this." He felt Negan tense at the mention of his ex and Carl rubbed his hand into his chest, finding it a bit funny (but also somewhat relieving) that he was the one comforting the older male now. At least he had stopped crying. "I know you wouldn't ignore it," he reassured him. "I know that. But I just get nervous sometimes and do dumb stuff. I'll do better next time. I'm sorry."

Negan exhaled and leaned down to bury his face into Carl's hair. It seemed like an eternity before he pulled back just enough that his voice wouldn't be muffled. "I didn't, uh," he cleared his throat. " _Remind_ you of him, did I? 'Cause Carl, I know I was pissed, and I yell and shit, but if I need to remind myself next time to tone it back 'cause of him-"

"No," Carl interrupted him (normally he wouldn't but he felt like it was okay in this situation). There was so much concern in the older male's voice, so much worry and maybe even a hint of fear that the boy felt the need to say something. "No," he repeated, pulling back away from the man just enough that he could look him in the eye. He kept one hand on the Dominant's chest and found a stray burly hand with his other, squeezing it tightly. "Negan," he said softly, the name feeling almost foreign and strange on his tongue at this point but he knew it was necessary. Beyond titles, beyond make believe, beyond rules and punishments and kinks, Negan had to know this and know that he was serious. He was met with warm eyes and a soft nod of understanding before he continued. "You are _nothing_ like him. I have never felt more safe with anyone the way I do with you. Hell, I don't think you could be anything like him even if you wanted to be. It's not your nature. I know it hasn't been very long, two months is like nothing in the grand scheme of... everything, but I trust you. You gotta trust me when I say that if you were anything like him I would have ran for the hills awhile ago. I may have been stupidly blind once but I won't do it again." It felt odd, being able to form coherent sentences after sobbing hysterically like an infant just a few minutes ago, but that tone Negan had used changed something in the boy. Made him forget for a moment about the horrible punishment in favor of comforting the man who had given him so much already.

"I do," Negan finally grit out, voice a little raspy. "I do trust you." For once in his life it seemed Negan was at a bit of a loss for words and Carl was more than okay with that. He gave him a small smile, sniffled once and then leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the older man's lips. Negan pulled his hand out of Carl's grasp to reach up and thread his fingers through the boy's damp hair so he could pull him closer and the younger man hummed in delight, pulling back and pressing a few more gentle kisses across the larger man's lower face, making said man huff out a breath of laughter. It sounded like music to the student's ears and washed away all of his insecurities. At some point Negan flopped back onto the bed and Carl crawled up onto him, pressing his cheek into the man's chest and listening to his heartbeat with his eyes closed. He knew they'd be there for awhile, they both needed the bodily contact and reassurance neither of them were going anywhere.

Some nagging voice in the back of Carl's head told him to be afraid of love, that two months was not enough time to know for sure if he loved this man or not. He had been dumb with Mark, blurted out he loved him after two weeks of dating and fell into a hole he was barely able to crawl out of months later. That wasn't love. It was idolization. Blind worship. Loving the idea of being in love and taking a few kind words and heated kisses as adoration. 

But this... what he had with Negan... it kind of felt like the real deal. Trust. Time. Understanding. A sense of home that he hadn't really felt since he left his dad and family back in King County. Those seemed to be the things that made up what real love was all about. Story book shit. He wouldn't tell Negan all of this yet, god no. It would be awhile before Carl would say it out loud. But at least inwardly he could admit to himself that he was falling pretty hard for the man he irrationally loathed a few months ago. 

"You think you can handle it another two weeks or d'you wanna talk about takin' it off for awhile?" Negan's voice broke through his thoughts and he opened his eyes, propping his head up by resting his chin on one strong pectoral muscle. He considered the statement for a minute, weighed it in his mind. Negan was giving him a way out. It was right there for the taking. 

"I want to stick it out," he said softly. Negan cocked an eyebrow and moved to speak but Carl shushed him with a finger to his lips. "I've lasted this long, I wanna see if I can do it. And if I can't handle it we can talk about it before I do anything dumb, I promise. But..." he bit his lip and Negan playfully chomped down on the finger pressed to his mouth. 

"But what?"

"I dunno if I can handle it without getting fucked..." he said coyly and Negan smirked. 

"I'm still not fuckin' ya in the ass for a month, I mean it. Punishment is punishment, sugar. You gotta face the music." Carl's face fell and he moved to protest, but this time it was Negan's turn to press a thick finger to pink lips. "But. That don't mean you can't fuck yourself. With whatever you want other than my dick. 'Sides," his tongue darted out to tease the corner of his own smirk and the boy had a hard time not chasing it with his mouth. "Y'aint gonna find me complainin' 'bout a show." 

Carl made a 'hmph' sound and grumbled, pressing his cheek back into the man's chest. "You're the worst," he mumbled though there was no real malice behind it. 

"I'm the worst, what?" 

"You're the worst, _Daddy_ ," the title came a little more sarcastic than he had intended but Negan seemed satisfied enough, a dark chuckle rumbling through his chest and vibrating Carl's ear. 

"That I am, baby boy. That I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carl can't ALWAYS be a perfect angel, guys. 
> 
> Negan forgot his keys to his office that's why he ended up coming back. I was going to put that in near the end but the dialogue just didn't end up drifting that way.
> 
> BUT ANYWAY. There ya have it. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you expected or wanted and I'm sorry it wasn't super long. If the end feels kind of rushed then I'm sorry for that too, I was just kind of ready to be done with this chapter after working on it for over a month. It got a little SAPPY and lame near the end and that's probably a little too OOC for some of you guys but listen these idiots need to be sappy sometimes.
> 
> Another manner of business: I am going to be honest with you all and say I don't know when the next chapter will come out. I don't want to give you guys a time frame and then have you disappointed if it doesn't come right then. I can promise you that as of right now I have no intention whatsoever to abandon this fic and I do intend on finishing it I just don't know when updates will come. Hopefully TWD coming back on the 7th will give me more motivation as well. 
> 
> As always, your comments, kind words and questions keep me going! Feel free to leave them here or at my tumblr, cxgan. Thank you all for your unwavering support and sticking with me!


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